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Fragadelic
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If something or someone seems way too easy, it/they will turn out to require at least 13.7x as much effort you had originally thought.
If a woman says "You will always be in my heart" that means "I don't care if you shit or go blind".
If a woman says "We can still be friends" it means "Have someone drop me a line if and when you die and not a minute before".
If a teacher says "Oh Johnny I am very disappointed in you" it means "If we were in Singapore, I would soooo be caning your bare ass right now!".
Most people want something they can't have until they figure out that they can actually have it and then they completely lose interest.
If you are late for something, you will catch every red light en route - if you are early, you have obviously suffered some form of incipient brain damage.
Women sleep way too fucking much.
If I were God and could eliminate people who should be eliminated, there would be a lot more available money and real estate.
If something goes right the first time, you have obviously fucked up.
I have no clue what it means when a woman says, "I need to talk to you" and then as soon as you are alone she sticks her tongue in your mouth - but I kinda like it when that happens nonetheless.
"I want to but I just can't" is bullshit and warrants a spanking.
When a parent says "Don't make me come up there!" it means "I am living for the day when you become someone elses problem".
If you are ever completely happy and contented, you are officially apeshit and need to seek professional help ASAP.
I have never fucked an ugly woman but I am sure that somewhere at this moment there is a woman who is thinking about me and saying "I cannot believe that I fucked him!"
I am fucking adorable - I have references.
If something or someone seems way too easy, it/they will turn out to require at least 13.7x as much effort you had originally thought.
If a woman says "You will always be in my heart" that means "I don't care if you shit or go blind".
If a woman says "We can still be friends" it means "Have someone drop me a line if and when you die and not a minute before".
If a teacher says "Oh Johnny I am very disappointed in you" it means "If we were in Singapore, I would soooo be caning your bare ass right now!".
Most people want something they can't have until they figure out that they can actually have it and then they completely lose interest.
If you are late for something, you will catch every red light en route - if you are early, you have obviously suffered some form of incipient brain damage.
Women sleep way too fucking much.
If I were God and could eliminate people who should be eliminated, there would be a lot more available money and real estate.
If something goes right the first time, you have obviously fucked up.
I have no clue what it means when a woman says, "I need to talk to you" and then as soon as you are alone she sticks her tongue in your mouth - but I kinda like it when that happens nonetheless.
"I want to but I just can't" is bullshit and warrants a spanking.
When a parent says "Don't make me come up there!" it means "I am living for the day when you become someone elses problem".
If you are ever completely happy and contented, you are officially apeshit and need to seek professional help ASAP.
I have never fucked an ugly woman but I am sure that somewhere at this moment there is a woman who is thinking about me and saying "I cannot believe that I fucked him!"
I am fucking adorable - I have references.
