feelin' depressed

[Kool Keith]

I've been on clomid for a couple of days now and I'm really depressed. I've even caught myself talking to myself out loud in public. Wierd. I was reading the post about bros with anxiety and I was wondering who you know when it's time to look into meds and how do you pick one out of all the pills out there. This is fucked. I feel like shit right now.

For a little background on me:

I've battled depression all my life. Seems like I've never been happy. When I was 16 I started stressin about what I was gonna do with my life and now I'm 24 and that shit is all I can ever think about even when I'm out with friends supposed to be having a good time. I was a drunken loser for a long time untill New Years this year when I quit drinking for good and then in March I started hitting the gym everyday. I never really lifted weights before but my friend showed me and since then I've been making amazing progress. He also got me started on a cycle in June and it was cool for about a month untill I started to feel bad. Now I feel like I really need something to get me happy again, cause not drinking and going to the gym isn't doing it anymore. I feel like shit.

 

[Xalthus]

If u can, tuff it through.. Ur testosterone is low right now and that is what is makng you depressed. After ur clomid therapy u should have ur normal testosterone back up. If that doesnt work or ur gonna go suicidal, u prolly have what is called Clinical depression, its an imbalance of chemicals in ur head (or someshit like that), and i would go see a doc and he will hook ya up wit some nifty pills thatll make u lively again.

 

[CRAZYPITBULL]

Don't let it get ya bro- It's only temporary.Try hard to keep your mind on your your goals and your dreams-

Good Luck,
C.P.

 

[SteadyGains]

Some people may flame away, but I do not think you should be doing any drugs in your situation. Depression and alcohol problems lead people to something else to hold on to. You started juicing just a couple months after dropping alcohol? That's fucking crazy in my opinion. You should have let your system recover from the booze longer and you would have made tremendous gains naturally anyway. Right now, the AAS are a mistake for you. Do not start drinking again, that's important! I would suffer through the clomid and then try natural training for awhile. Let your mind and body get straight and then make choices down the road when your judgement is better. I personally had a pretty serious drinking habit but I quit about 2 and a half years ago. I have never done any cycles and have kept gaining like crazy. Once you clear your mind for awhile, and it isn't easy, you will be happy you did so. The drugs discussed on this board can have serious consequences for certain types of personalites. I think maybe you have taken them too lightly and jumped in too fast! Just something for you to think about.

 

[Xalthus]

no ones flaming anyone. If this kid has been depressed all of his life for no reason, then he needs to get on medications that will help his depression. Its the truth.

 

[Kool Keith]

Yeah

I know I shouldn't of started juicing so soon. It was just a combination of bad judgement and the fact that it's so easy to get where I live. I never would have started if I didn't live close to Mexico. Anyways, I fell off the wagon two weeks ago and went on a three day bender but I'm back on for good. I don't think I was ever addicted to alcohol, I just always drank because I was bored or because everbody else drinks. I've seen what happens too many times when I quit drinking and then start again and this time I'm just not gonna start again no matter what. It just sucks because I was finally starting to feel good again before I used AS.

 

[solidspine]

See a - psychiatrist

It is not a sign of weakness to admit you need help.

Go to AA

Bury your nose in the bible!

 

[bubba2k]

bro

The one true medicine that helped me more than anything with my depression was steady doses of iron. I may still be screwed up, but I ain't suicidal or what I would call clinically depressed anymore. Yeah, I get low at times, but I don't let it keep me down.

Bad times happen. Life often does suck. Yet those are often made by us, both the good times and the bad are decided in your heart and mind and soul. So when you think about quitting, DON'T. I have had many times when my life felt about as worthless as a wet piece of toilet paper. Even now I can't think of many big reasons I really have for living, except my strength goals(my social life sucks). So many times I just feel like life sucks too much, but BY GOD I am not going to give up. Neither should you. Just be focused on a plan and goal. Until you yourself decide you want to be better, you ain't going to get better. Yeah docs can help, yeah AA can help, but until you make the choice it won't happen.

Solidspine has solid advice. All of it can help you.

On a related note, here are some lyrics that have helped me. "you could stand me up at the gates of hell
but I won't back down" Too bad the beat is all wrong for lifting because the lyrics kick ass. And if you are trying to fight depression it is the right attitude to have. Another good one is never surrender and that is exactly the attitude you should have, NEVER surrender.

Pain is a fact and certainty of life. So don't worry. Know when to say "fuck it" That is some of the best advice I can give.

 

[gUiLe]

KK- I am in the same spot. I just finished clomid and it
was real tough for me. I remember one morning driving
to work, I just busted out crying for like no reason at
all!! My wife was like "What's wrong honey?" And I
just said "Please just leave me alone!" Not to mention
feeling angry a lot too!! I am still not feeling that
great......yet. Just tough it out and remember (when you
are feeling like shit) that it is because of what you just
put your body through. You will be just fine.

 

[BigPsyco]

First the Horses movie now this, you got some problems bro, yeah i know im a jerk for not supporting but........but nothing

 

[gUiLe]

Big Psyco- At least I have the courage to admit it! And I know I am not the ONLY person who has ever felt that way on CLomid. I am VERY secure about my manhood. Can you say the same??

 

[BigPsyco]

I had not even read your post. I understand bro we all have bad moments. Im just teasin the guy

 

[gUiLe]

I am sorry for coming down on you dude. I told you I wasn't 100%

 

[BigPsyco]

try creatine, dhea and some bcaa's that will cure you guys right up

 

[Kool Keith]

AA

I've been to AA. AA sucks. It's just like going to church for an hour, everybody just talks about god and shit. Hey, it's cool if it works for you. Seems like most people there have a lot more problems than alcohol. I was doing fine by myslef not drinking. Seems like I never should of totally stopped tho, because then it became like this big issue, but I'm glad I did. Going to the gym has been a big help, I just started to feel bad again and I couldn't see anyway to get happy. I feel better today, perhaps it's because I let it all out and told you guys. I guess that's what the internet's for, I don't bother my friends with this shit. Anyways, thanks for listening.....I got a couple more days of clomid and then I'll give myself another month or so to feel better and if I don't by then I'm gonna go to the doctor or get some counseling. Either way, I'm definatley gonna keep going to the gym and stay away from the bottle.

Peace!

 

[BigPsyco]

Best of luck to ya, kudos on the sobriety

 

[gUiLe]

KK- Glad to hear it!! The gym will make you feel MUCH better! When you walk out, knowing you just kicked the
shit out of a bunch weights, you WILL feel inner peace!

 

[Kool Keith]

Yeah thanks

I fucking love the gym. I wish I'd known the benefits of excercise earlier on in my life, maybe I wouldn't of turned into such a drunk then. I've always gone once and awhile but I always quit after a couple of weeks after making no progress and being ashamed of how weak I was. Anyways, I've been lucky enough to meet somebody that has had the patience to show me how to workout right and I've been sticking to it and I fucking love it. I will be lifting for the rest of my life.

 

[psroth]

Next time try some HCG right after your cycle to really cause a sudden boost in test levels. And definitely stay away from Nandrolone compounds exclusively as this will drain you test levels without replenishing it with an artificial source. Also, be sure to start with high dosage of clomid (200-300mg) the first day.

Best of luck!