farting in the rape me position

[hellorhih2o]

WARNING: PG13 (Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations).

So I've got issues, let's just get that straight to begin with. But this one is annoying as all hell.

My absolute favorite exercise is leg press. However, it has its complications. I do them with a very wide stance and I go deep as humanly possible. Thus, I inevitably end up in the “rape me” position (legs far apart, knees on my shoulders, ass as exposed to anyone and everyone). I can live with that. But, no matter how many Gas-X or Benos I take before leg day, I always pass some gas when I go up again, no exception. Sometimes is just one of those silent but deadly “sssssss” things but sometimes it’s a full-fledged and roaring “RRRRIIIIPPPP”. I have absolutely no control over this whatsoever. I moan as loudly as I can when I go back up again but it ain’t quite working in terms of noise cover-up.

I’m starting to think I’m becoming THE gym freak (and that’s not an easy title to get in my freak-filled gym).

What to do? Plenty of karma for TRUE fart experts… Help a fellow freak.

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Put a cork in it!Fart!

 

[hellorhih2o]

Put a cork in it!

that's an excellent idea. i'll just squat down in the locker room before leg day and shove a cork up my ass. that'll definitely stop me from becoming the gym freak. i'm sure people will think i'm just being considerate. not freakish at all. nooooo.

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

that's an excellent idea. i'll just squat down in the locker room before leg day and push a cork up my ass. that'll definitely stop me from becoming the gym freak. i'm sure people will think i'm just being considerate. not freakish at all. nooooo.

Make sure to use Super Glue! Or else it might pop out!

 

[Lumberg]

I've tried ginger. Doesn't work.

Yogurt works for me believe it or not. Those active cultires helo to digest that extra protein I guess.

The otehr option would be to cecrease your protein intake.

Another would be to intentionally fart before you go the the gym....there are exercises you can do to percolate the farts out. Don't know what they are but I think one of them is beign on your hands and knees and arching your back or something.

 

[hellorhih2o]

Make sure to use Super Glue! Or else it might pop out!

Yes, yes, yes, super glue is clearly a must. only thing is, how do i remove it in case i should have to, ya know... some kind of Black & Decker power drill?

 

[hellorhih2o]

I've tried ginger. Doesn't work.

Yogurt works for me believe it or not. Those active cultires helo to digest that extra protein I guess.

The otehr option would be to cecrease your protein intake.

Another would be to intentionally fart before you go the the gym....there are exercises you can do to percolate the farts out. Don't know what they are but I think one of them is beign on your hands and knees and arching your back or something.

trust me, i've tried all of the above. i'm so good at fart prevention that there's no way in hell i could fart "naturally" if i had to save my life. but there's something going on with my system when i'm pushing up 10 45# plates plus the weight of the leg press.

 

[AAP]

Put a coCk in it

I will say.

 

[hellorhih2o]

Put a coCk in it

I will say.

over my dead body

 

[Lumberg]

In that case get used to it.

Hey when you're pushing up 10 45# pound plates people aren't going to fuck with you.

 

[Stangfriik]

Maybe try working out in the morning when not as much food has developed into gas?

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Yes, yes, yes, super glue is clearly a must. only thing is, how do i remove it in case i should have to, ya know... some kind of Black & Decker power drill?

Na just a cork remover! Otherwise AAP will strap on a ribbed condom on and he will take it out for you!

http://www.gadgeteers.co.uk/products/bargear/images/corkpopstn.jpg

 

[Tiervexx]

WARNING: PG13 (Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations).

So I've got issues, let's just get that straight to begin with. But this one is annoying as all hell.

My absolute favorite exercise is leg press. However, it has its complications. I do them with a very wide stance and I go deep as humanly possible. Thus, I inevitably end up in the “rape me” position (legs far apart, knees on my shoulders, ass as exposed to anyone and everyone). I can live with that. But, no matter how many Gas-X or Benos I take before leg day, I always pass some gas when I go up again, no exception. Sometimes is just one of those silent but deadly “sssssss” things but sometimes it’s a full-fledged and roaring “RRRRIIIIPPPP”. I have absolutely no control over this whatsoever. I moan as loudly as I can when I go back up again but it ain’t quite working in terms of noise cover-up.

I’m starting to think I’m becoming THE gym freak (and that’s not an easy title to get in my freak-filled gym).

What to do? Plenty of karma for TRUE fart experts… Help a fellow freak.

Congrats! you've ruined another date.

I've told you before and I will tell you again. If you ever want to get any action you will have to stop doing that.

 

[Frackal]

LOL

Have AAP (o:r darktoov: ) straddle you and pump in when you pump out


ahhahaha

 

[Lumberg]

Wait I just thought of something:

Why the fuck are you doing leg presses when you should be doing squats?

 

[WODIN]

Sounds like you have a lose sphincter and you really should consult Bullit, Beastboy, AAP and TheNatureboy on this since they get together with H G pennypacker all the time for buttplug parties.

 

[FreeballinDC]

If you've done all that, and your still farting, then get over it.

You're not the only one that happens with, so don't feel like you're alone.

Just do the presses, and get them over with.

I still fart when I squat. I used to let it bother me, but now I don't care anymore. Would you rather have thin legs and be saved from embarrassment, or tree trunks and not give a rats ass what anybody thinks about your anal emissions?

 

[dawookie]

I always rip em when doing situps..

The bad part is that if I rip a good one early into the set I have to keep coming up to sample it.. adding a twist at the top sometimes helps whisk it away.

even worse is when the decline-situp bench is aiming towards the treadmills.. even tho they are running they cant escape it..

but hey, theres enough to go around, right?

gotta love tuna+protein farts.

 

[Code]

We already have a Nathan.
And his stuff reads better.

Try a different persona please.

 

[dawookie]

We already have a Nathan.
And his stuff reads better.

Try a different persona please.

directed at?

 

[Code]

directed at?

Not you wookie.

Breath deeply.

IN...........................





aaaaaannnnd.




OUT......................

 

[dawookie]

Breath deeply.
IN...........................
aaaaaannnnd.
OUT......................

ahh, much better.

 

[hellorhih2o]

If you've done all that, and your still farting, then get over it.

You're not the only one that happens with, so don't feel like you're alone.

Just do the presses, and get them over with.

I still fart when I squat. I used to let it bother me, but now I don't care anymore. Would you rather have thin legs and be saved from embarrassment, or tree trunks and not give a rats ass what anybody thinks about your anal emissions?

Hallelujah, I'm not the only one!

Fartbuddy.

 

[nuh_mizer]

Make sure to use Super Glue! Or else it might pop out!

and hit somebody in the eye!

 

[hellorhih2o]

Make sure to use Super Glue! Or else it might pop out!

and hit somebody in the eye!

Well... come to think of it, maybe JUST super clue would do it. No cork, just glue?

This thread has to stop. I've found my fart buddies and I'm now a proud Fartman. Let 'em rip, brothas!

 

[rnch]

..............and i thought i was the only one!

 

[hellorhih2o]

..............and i thought i was the only one!

nope, yo my fartbuddy now. Duuuuuudeeee