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Dutch Diva Log

D

dutch diva

New member
Hi Everyone! Well I have been reading on and off this board for a couple of years and have finally joined. I have alot of catching up to do!

My log:

I competed in my first figure show April 05. Post show (the last yr) I have been hitting the weight hard and heavy and have trained with purpose. I change my split up every 6 weeks or so, usually 1 to 2 muscle groups a day x 6 days a week, and cardio 5-6 dys at 45 mins.

Diet: I have over the course of the years developed a unhealthy relationship with food. Especially in the last yr post show. I have been come an emotional eater, which has lead me to a 45 pound off season weight gain, and absolute mental break down. The main purpose of this log is to have your support in getting back to eating for fuel. To give you alittle more insight, I eat clean all day and wake up around 3 am each am to eat, usually crap (cereal, cookies etc) A normal day will consist of eating every 2-3 hrs, natural PB, oats, chicken, egg whites, natural rice cakes, low carb shakes.

My goal: to feel good in my own skin, and see what i work so damn hard for! I'm not trying to put on anymore size just shred what i have.

My current weight is 176

As far as diet goes my goals are to eat clean, not obsess and combat eating for any other purpose than fuel.

I look forward to hearing for many of you, I have been with you through many of your up's and downs and know I am in the right place.


Today's Training:

Tri's: ( super setted each set with 20 mountain climbers)

5 sets Skull crushers 8-12 reps (to failure... everything is pretty much to failure so if I don't write that just assume it :) )
Dips Assisted 4 sets 8-12 reps
Dip Machine 4 drop sets
Close grip bench press 3 sets 8-10 reps
isolated singles arm cable ext 3 x 12, 10, 8

Cardio:

45 minutes Arch Trainer steady state

Diet :Chef: :

Pre- workout : 30 grms oats, 1 scoop protein
Post- workout: 2 scoops iso xp with 1 cup berries
Meal 3: 8 egg whites, 3 natural rice cakes
Meal 4: 5 oz chicken breat, low carb BBQ sauce, 1/2 large potatoe, 1 TBSP PB

Supp's:

Multi & green's +
ECA stack
Glutamine
CLA & Green Tea
MAca
Vit. C
Vit. E

( have tried YES & sensapure...sp?, with great success)
 
Hi DD! Welcome to EF and the "logosphere"!

I'm sure at least some of the girls here can relate to the competition diet thing, God knows I can. I've been thru more 30 lb weight swings since starting competition in 2000, despite having trained for 25 yrs & dieted for 10 yrs. Because food & mood are so tightly related, when you go to the extremes, it can really polarize the whole relationship. In that respect, we've got a couple good posts / articles that you might find interesting in better reconciling the whole diet thing & the impact of competition dieting on both your mind and your body:

Scott Abel: Metabolic Damage - http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=493489

Post Competition Syndrome: http://www.mindandmuscle.net/mindandmuscle/magpage.php?issueID=40&artID=49

Out of curiousity, how tall are you and what is your bodyfat right now (or near estimate?)

Just eyeballing, your diet looks good except for the 3 am sugar bomb. Is that affecting your energy or the quality of your sleep? If you do it because you get hungry at that point in the night, you might want to increase the fats in your last meal or add a last small fat meal (e.g. 1 tbsp natty PB) right before you go to bed.

If you've been doing the same cardio for a long time, I'd probably recommend changing that up as well -- throw in some HIIT cardio or take some time off, try a different form of cardio or something. It always seems like when you do it regularly w/o changing it, you are basically establishing a stasis point in what your body adapts to and it might not really be getting you results simply because you are now adapted to it.
 
Hey Sassy! Thanks for your fb, I have read alot of your posts on the board, you seem like a whilwind of fitness knowledge.
I am actually quite familiar with Scott's metabolic damage acticles, great reads. I actually did a 12 week program with him this past April, doing his MET training and trying to bump up my metabolism. It was a great experience and will continue cycling his training protocols into my workouts. I actually had the opportunity to train legs with him before he moved, I couldn't walk for a couple weeks....seriously weeks, and I consider myself conditioned under this layer of fat.
I have spent the last yr reading self help books, and really just trying to gain more self confidence in who I am rather than defining my worth on how I look.
I'm 5'8 and 28% BF right now.
As for the cardio, I though in Hitt training all the time, just stick to steady state here and there when I'm outta gas. I love actually creating my own intervals on a step & skipping rope.........
I have tried the PB prior to bed, see its not true hunger its emotional hunger......food is my medication.....I'm trying to beat this. I like to believe everyday I have a new defining moment that will stop the cycle, if I don't believe this I will never truely succeed.
No luck on the Atvar...I have resized, jpg save it , you name it... I give up!

meal 4:
3oz chicken breast, 1 cup spinach, 1/2 cup potatoe


This board is addictive! I'm suppose to be writing a paper and all i do is procrastinate by reading!
 
Hey DD - glad I can share some of my experience -- my own trip thru "fitness" has been long and diverse. I've learned a lot that is probably very typical for most people in it - especially all the stupid shit like trainers who screw you over for money, the ins & outs of competition, the post show rebound and all the mental and metabolic issues, etc, etc, etc. It is a constant evolution. And now I get to document all the experiences that age brings to the table as well ( :rolleyes: ) for you young'uns :)

Well, shit. Sounds like all you really need is some time to let what you are working on work :) From your experience w/ Scott did you find any one particular thing to be really results producing for you specifically?

The sleep thing sux -- I've had cycles of serious insomnia in my life and I was real bad as a kid -- always a night owl. I find specifically I can't sleep when I'm stressed out and my mind won't "stop". I've actually solved differential equations math problems or quantu physics problems while sleeping. Now I either sleep like the dead or have really intense dreams but they don't seem to exhaust me. I guess some of it is just evolution w/ age. Good luck w/ that tho because controlling food & mood is probably one of the biggest fundamental things to master.
 
Sassy I can relate on so many levels. I've only been in the game for a short period of time, but when it becomes consuming you learn alot quickly. I have been there with the trainers, more so on the level they don't care about your well-being they get you on stage and don't care what happens after, or the fact that they tell u to do alot of terrible things to your body to look great for that one day, and u have to live with the consequences of your actions everyday for the rest of your life. Ok that was dramatic but I got my point across. Wish I was more computer savy to throw up some "icons", lol.

As for Scott his training is something most bodies aren't used too. It basically training your nervous system. It streams away from traditional bodybuilding...alot more power and training for speed. But what I gained the most from Scott was perspective. Not physical changes as much as mental. Enough to get me back to being able to accept where I am now and move forward.
 
loggerloggerlogger!!! welcome!!! :wavey: Sassy got ya some goodies already I see... :D You came the right place to beat this girl.

Best wishes!
 
The whole trainer thing is a catch-22 - there are lots of bullshit trainers who have positioned themselves as "contest prep gurus" and they sometimes can generate results. But especially w/ figure -- the barriers to entry are much lower than for bodybuilding and the perception of it as a "sport" is not nearly as negative as bodybuilding is for women -- therefore there is a much larger audience of very gullible women who may have only just recently gotten into the whole lifting thing (i.e. haven't got a solid base and really have no idea the true dedication and time invested -- not just time per session in teh gym but rather YEARS invested in buildign a solid base & muscle maturity) -- so they are willing to pay a lot of money to get into the sport and get on stage. And they are also willing to do the extreme things (and often the drugs) because the trainer or some guy told them what to do. Also when you approach a trainer - they often think in terms of 12-16 weeks instead of the biggeer picture of developing a solid base first and doing a slower cut, getting to know the person's body and adapting the diet. Instead they will rely on drugs & extreme dietign & cardio to get results.

Anyway - I guess you learn quickly but its still a tragedy. That's why I constantly rant about how important it is that the GIRL educate herself to make the decisions as opposed to "I'll do whatever it takes" and blindly follow (and pay) a trainer. At the very least, MAKE the trainer explain things that you don't understand. If he/she can't, then tell them to fuck off and move on. The other thing is the mental aspect of setting yourself up to literally live or die by one show date - especially for figure, there are shitloads of shows all season and to understand that if you aren't ready for the show or if somethign happens w/ your show date, you don't die. It doesnt' make you a bad person or a failure or any of that other shit. And finally you need to understand that the forgotten last phase of competition prep is what that article calls "Post Show Syndrome" and that can have its own pile of consequences that can impact your life well beyond your show date.

Sounds like you've really gotten some good experiences! I'm sure you will have some interesting posts to contribute to the ongoign discussions that we have here!
 
Sassy you nailed it!
I couldn't agree with you more. I was that girl unfortunately, things went alittle differently for me. I was dating a bodybuilder, who told me I had such a great natural symmetry & foundation and I should set the goal to compete with him in his next show......18 weeks. And I did, 2-3 hrs of cardio, improper dieitng, drugs I made all the mistakes. Reflecting now I would have done everything differently.

It's taken over a yr to just get my body back to a point where it's working with me not against me. I have learned alot this past yr, in regards to training, and dieting. But for some reason I can't apply the diet. It's frustrating. But today I think I can, and I'll think that tomorrow too... still working on the positive thinking.

It's an addictive industry, we label ourselves by our shows and appearances not by who were are, what we are doing with life. The biggest thing I realised is I treat people the same whether I'm ripped or fat, Im the same person inside.....
Everything happens for a reason right, I have gone through this to be a better person. I no longer judge people based on their exterior appearance, and more importantly i don't base my own self worth on it anymore either.

Deep thoughts by jack handy, lol................
 
lol jack handy ...

It is sooo true tho. I find myself to be really critical of people (ESP "figure girls" and other model type people) and I'm the worst at competitions. Its been interesting tho because I've watched the evolution of whatever it is that they call "figure" "this" year -- it changes every year... and women's BB -- because I've been "in" it for 6 yrs and in the gym for 25 yrs. But I also don't hesitate to encourage women to train and not be scared of "getting muscle" and also letting them know how important diet is --- basically if someone truly wants to learn something new, I will start the discussion, if not, then I will probably not bring up the discussion -- so many people want the quickie solution and their heads explode if you start to tell them how important diet is and using SlimFast is NOT considered a healthy diet., etc etc etc.

But I still think getting thru all the myths and learning both that you can control your body to get the results you want and learning how your body works is so empowering and it enables you to make it thru life better and not be a victim of emotional eating, stress, age, etc.
 
True DAT!

I work on the side right now for a supplement company, I'm their demo girl........I hear all about if I take this product will I look like a magazine, most of the women I talk to are terribled of drinking a protein drink in fear of gaining weight but they will scraf down a bag of high GI caramel rice cakes, or drink their sugar loaded slimfast potions. Everyone wants a quick fix, thats why more girls are getting into drugs.

Same with training, the fear of lifting heavy will put on mass, and it drives me nuts, the skinny fat chick who judged me b/c i'm bigger, BUT I FEEL LIKE YELLING YOUR FATTER THAN ME! Well maybe not at the moment, lol, but I'm sure they are sitting in the mid 20% bf range.

I like you don't initate conversations with people I know won't take from what I have to share. When people talk to me about this stuff, I love it, knowledge is power baby!

Meal 5:
5oz chicken breast & veggies, 1 handful peanuts........i'm going to have to taper off these things what can i say I LOVE NUTS! :qt:
 
You know whatelse Sassy.......your critical b/c you know what your looking for..when it comes to people stepping on stage I'm the same way, only b/c u put yourself in a position to be judged. It's partly due to an appreciationg for the sport.......do they have a nice v-taper, do they have nice capped delts, etc... Theres nothing wrong with judges those of us who put ourselves out there to be on a stage.
 
dutch diva said:
You know whatelse Sassy.......your critical b/c you know what your looking for..when it comes to people stepping on stage I'm the same way, only b/c u put yourself in a position to be judged. It's partly due to an appreciationg for the sport.......do they have a nice v-taper, do they have nice capped delts, etc... Theres nothing wrong with judges those of us who put ourselves out there to be on a stage.
Click to expand...


Well I think a part of it is just seeing what the "ideal" is. I was blown away by the amazing bodies I saw at the Jr Nationals this year, although what won last year at the same show didn't even place this year - so to that extent I think the whole sport is goofy if they arent' consistent or cant' describe what it is that they are looking for. But in being wishy washy w/ the judging criteria and what appears to be a move towards whatever the hell you consider "more feminine", the competitors are getting squishier and frankly I feel like the sport is starting to lose some of what it is supposed to be. I've been to a couple regional shows this year where fully 90% of the peope there (guys included!!! but mostly the women) had no business on stage -- they needed AT LEAST 4 more weeks of dieting. That IMO is a slap in the face to those who do put in the time to prepare. But that's just me. It all starts to look the same after a while and you do get a bit jaded about the actually judging though I know 99% of teh girls on the stage really dedicated themselves to getting on stage - but sometimes it takes a few more cycles of contest prep instead of just one round of 12-16 weeks - they tend to not think long term and prefer to try to force crazy changes or just want to get on stage before they are ready. But like I said - I'm not the perfect competitor - I've only done 3 shows and those have been spread out over time, but I've got 25 yrs of muscle mass and gym dedication and I have developed a much longer view of what it takes to get on stage and really compete. I know my short-comings but I've also passed into that phase of life where things dont' work so well anymore and I've got lots of mass, but I still compete at 20 lbs less than national level BBs my height - I don't really want to get that big - I hate being as big as I do get off season and I have a helluva time getting down for competition. But if you are around it all long enough, it becomes literally 2nd nature to make judgements on what is the goal and if someone accomplished it or where they can improve - I never make judgements to the person's detriment but rather try to make it constructive in an objective way. I still give props to anyone who makes it on stage, but I still believe that you only go on stage when you are ready -- its a balance between gettng the onstage experience and being ready -- they both need to come at the same time and it doesnt always work out that way even after 16 weeks -- so you plan a few other shows or take it for what it is and be happy w/ what you've accomplished and move to the next goal.

LOL long winded... Physique sports are retarded in that you devote your whole life, often to the detriment of your regular life & the people around you, for that few minutes on stage and then go thru the crazy rebound period as a result of it. Does any of that make any sense? Its psychotic! But its addicting as well. I do love it and its really easy to see where other people are in their own evolution so I am comfortable commenting on it :) I'm not a judge but I guess I've got enough experience watching it to make fairly accurate comments....
 
The sport is retarded, but if you take yourself out of the retardedness and do it for yourself for whatever reason its awesome. ANd yes addictive!
As far as judging criteria I hear ya, there needs to be more consistancy. I'm from Canada and the girls here that compete in figure are boarderline bodybuilders. Then they award the not so large girls one show and penalise them the next. You can't win, and thats why you have to do it for yourself, so you have already won by getting on stage or achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
I agree it takes time to be ready for a show, What I realise now is the off season is as important as the on season. Changes in physique take time.........
 
Little late on the welcome... :wavey:
Glad to have ya around here though DD and best of luck to ya with your goals!!!
 
Sassy: it's impossible!
Sbt: Thank you

One night down, many more to go! I went to my Bf's last night to sleep. Funny thing is I sleep like a log next to him. I must eat for comfort and he replaces that.

So far its a great day, meals are all clean (i'll post all together later) and training shoulders tonight. MY FAVORITE!!! PUMP IT, HITT IT, DRIVEE!!!!!! wOOT WOOT!
I also picked up this supplement today called Calm, it's magnesium... thats it, its suppose to aid in restful sleep. I also picked up L-Theanine which combats emotional eating urges. We'll see how it goes.

Still can't get my atvar up
 
Todays meals:

Meal 1: 30 grms Oats & 1 scoop ISO XP
Meal 2: 1 scoop Whey & 16 almonds
Meal 3: 1/2 potatoe, 8 egg whites, 1 tbsp pb
Meal 4: Veggies & 4 oz chicken Brest
Meal 5: COrn on the cob & 1 tbsp PB
Meal 6: Shake with 1 cup berries

So today was good, I still have alot of cleaning up on my diet to do.... too much PB, but the goal is to get there slowly!

Ended up taking today off of the gym, no biggie... I'm listening to my body.

Tonight new supp's nd sleeping @ home, if theres any 3 am posts you'll know why!

Night!
 
:wavey: Hey diva. I'm a little late on the welcome, but WELCOME! :)

This is a great thread so far. I've enjoyed reading yours and Sassy's comments on the sport.
 
Thanks for the welcome ladies, BG is seems to be a great topic of discussion!

Well I slept though the night!

Today Trainning kick some see a$$! But I think it was shoulder day in the gym....tough to get my weights!

DB Press 5 x 6-12
Frontal Raises 4x 6-12
Lateral DB Raises 4 x 6-12
Lying Prone Incline Reverse Flies 4x 6-12
Reverse Seated up right cables 4x 10-12
Cables Front raise 2 x 20
Cable Lateral Raises 2x 20

Cardio:
60 min Arch Trainer Intervals
20 min Revolving Step
 
Yesterday's Meals:
Meal one: 45 gms Oats, 1 scoop pb & 1 scoop whey ( was super hungry...)
Meal two: 4 large rices races & 8 egg whites
Meal Three: 5 oz chicken breast salad, 1 scoop pb
Meal 4: 2 scoop shake
Meal 5: oats 30 gms, and pb 1 tbsp
 
dutch diva said:
Sassy: it's impossible!
Sbt: Thank you

One night down, many more to go! I went to my Bf's last night to sleep. Funny thing is I sleep like a log next to him. I must eat for comfort and he replaces that.

So far its a great day, meals are all clean (i'll post all together later) and training shoulders tonight. MY FAVORITE!!! PUMP IT, HITT IT, DRIVEE!!!!!! wOOT WOOT!
I also picked up this supplement today called Calm, it's magnesium... thats it, its suppose to aid in restful sleep. I also picked up L-Theanine which combats emotional eating urges. We'll see how it goes.

Still can't get my atvar up
Click to expand...
Welcome, a bit late on the welcome committee..
I was just curious this stuff you bought called Calm. It only contains Magnesium? Why not just buy a magnesium supplement, would it be cheaper. Plus, in case you were not aware magnesium needs calcium and phosphorus in the right proportions in order to even be absorbed by the body : for absorption at a 2 part Ca to 1 part Mg ratio or else your body will just excrete the excess through urine and you will be wasting your money.
Just a thought... may want to pick up a calcium supplement and take them together, or drink it with a glass of milk before bed??
 
Hey Treilin, thanks for the input I wasn't aware of that. I was told that the dosage of this is too high to be taken in pill form....and thats all it is magesium..with water before bed. I do demo's for a sports Nutrition Company, only burners and protein so I'll ask some people in the store I'm at for the input...but thanks for the input.

Today was awesome, met with a friend preping for a show and borrowing my suits, ignited the fire in me!!

Training:
Leg extensions 5 x 12-20
Squat thrust 5x 10-15
Leg press 4 x 15-20
Seated leg curls 4 x 15-20

Wall Jumps 100
Leap Frogs 100ft
Anterior Reaches 50
Split squat jumps 2 x 50
Walking lunge 100 ft

Diet:

MEAL ONE: Eat 5 egg whites, 4 strawberries, 1 tablsp glutamine

TRAIN

MEAL TWO: 3/4 cup of oats with a Tbsp of glutamine and 1 scoop of protein powder

MEAL THREE: 3 oz of chicken with 3 cups of spinach lettuce and cucumbers and 10 almonds with vinager as dressing

MEAL FOUR: 6 oz of chicken and 1/2 cup of diced green beans

MEAL FIVE: grapefruit and a Tbsp of flax

MEAL SIX: 5 oz chicken, 4 oz yam, 6 asparagus spears

SNACK: Protein shake, 2 scoops & 1 tbsp PB

MEAL SEVEN: – 5 egg whites, asparagus spears
 
dutch diva said:
This is the link to the site of the product..

http://www.naturalcalm.ca/
Click to expand...
O.k. just looked at the supp... and your diet and frankly this stood out to me...

"Natural Calm handles excess calcium in the body and gradually dissolves calcium deposits, giving a new lease on life and instant relief to many symptoms of magnesium depletion."

I don't see excess amount of calcium or dairy products at all in your diet to need that much magnesium.
Not trying to be a narcissist of the product, but looking at it and reading it... it sounds like just a ploy to get money.
Look at it this way. You can take any supplement exploit its benefits and get people to believe they need to add that in to their supps. I think Calcium is a stronger component needed in the body then magnesium... but without the magnesium your body can't absorb it and then you can get kidney stones for example. Just a good calcium/magnesium supplement 2 to 1 ratio 1,000mg Ca to 500mg Mg is sufficient for most.
O.k. 2 cents over again... lol
 
Thanks for looking into it for me T. It probably is a gimmick, but it does make u very relaxed placebo effect of not. But I don't wnt kidney stones...........

I ate last night in the middle of the night. Pretty sad about it today. I don't know why i can't say its not going to happen and make it not happen. I have the control right... wel at least i was "calm" doing it, lol, eating my non grilled cheese sandwich, 3 banana's, and 2 pb cookies........................... I hate how everyday I have to go through this rehab phase of the previous evening cardo that only burns off the evening food, clean clean diet to simply not gain never mind ever be able to loose again. Its just so frustrating, I don't know why I can't just stop the behavior.

Cardio cardio cardio, hope everyone has a great weekend ladies!
 
Ahhh don't worry I'm sure you'll be able to get over that eating thing in the middle of the night, you'd be surprised but I bet most of it is just in your head :)

Good morning!!! :wavey:
 
dutch diva said:
Thanks for looking into it for me T. It probably is a gimmick, but it does make u very relaxed placebo effect of not. But I don't wnt kidney stones...........

I ate last night in the middle of the night. Pretty sad about it today. I don't know why i can't say its not going to happen and make it not happen. I have the control right... wel at least i was "calm" doing it, lol, eating my non grilled cheese sandwich, 3 banana's, and 2 pb cookies........................... I hate how everyday I have to go through this rehab phase of the previous evening cardo that only burns off the evening food, clean clean diet to simply not gain never mind ever be able to loose again. Its just so frustrating, I don't know why I can't just stop the behavior.

Cardio cardio cardio, hope everyone has a great weekend ladies!
Click to expand...
No problem girl :)
I think we all go through that phase you describe...
What makes you get up in the middle of the night and eat? Ever try just drinking a really thick protein shake. I just looked at meal 7 and noticed it contained no fat. Maybe try adding some fat to your meal 7 which will burn longer and then help subside the night cravings. I usually eat PB, or almonds with like egg whites before bed. Another thing to try anyway... :heart: Have a good weekend
 
T thanks :heart: The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....
 
dutch diva said:
T thanks :heart: The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....
Click to expand...

DOn't let those people get to ya... I'm sure in a few months time especially with good diet and training you'll be allllll set...

And I agree with T trying adding in some fat to that last meal, because I used to have the same problem and would ALWAYS wake up hungry (granted I didn't get up and eat a bunch, but would still wake up starving) but after adding in some PB or almonds that seemed to take care of it a little better :heart:
 
dutch diva said:
T thanks :heart: The thing is it doesn't matter what I eat before I go to bed I'm not eating of hunger. But I'll change that last meal up and see what comes of it.

It's just so frustrating to train and eat clean all the time and blow it everynight and look like a fatty not an athlete. It's just really hard on me. I like many of you probably define alot of who we are on competing, and training. And to not look like the part kills me. My bf looks ike a cover of a magazine, I'm talking crazy veinly show ready 200 pound hottie everyday. When people talk to us about fitness they talk to im about how great he looks and what can they do about there training and diet...even girls, and his response is talk to my g/f she knows more than me. Then they say "u work out "HOLY FUK".... it really puts me in a downward spin.....

I train hard I want to look hard, I want to see what I have done with training over my off season....
Click to expand...
Yeah I'm dealing with that now.. but how I made it o.k. is I figure it's going to take me awhile to get to where I want to be.. and that I can't look like I'm on stage for 365 days of the year. The only way to see change on stage, is to see change in the winter... So hide the excess with the right clothes in the winter, begin to shed clothes as the summer roles around.
I am sure it would be a blow if someone said that to you. You just have to look inward and just be o.k. with the way you look no matter what people say. If your BF is happy with you also then there shouldn't be any issues with what everyone else says. It is easier IMO for most men to get lean and bulk then it is for women. Guys carry excess weight and they just look muscular and big. Girls' carry excess weight we look like Plump and smooth. I don't know to many women who like to look 'big' like men. We can't carry it as 'gracefully' and still feel as feminine as we do when we are cut and stage ready. Just have to be happy and understand your body goes through these phases to become better and better...
Maybe.... Post some pictures up here and start typing in this log your daily food, and weights and just have something to hold yourself accountable too. Then take like bi-weekly pictures and we can help tell you where we see change. Most of the time we are harder on ourselves, and don't see the changes because we see ourselves every day and have a distorted image of what we really look like. Like take a 3 month goal and get yourself a little ticker like I have at the bottom of the signature and shoot for it. Small goals help keep our mind busy till we reach the big overall goals :heart:
 
dutch diva said:
I don't know why I can't just stop the behavior.
Click to expand...
You CAN and you WILL ... you are taking the right steps to conquer this DD. Believe that & the rest will slowly fall into place.

I will suggest NOT to follow the path of many other loggers who just STOPPED logging b/c they couldn't deal with the comments & being honest with themselves. It's as if too much honesty led them to failure ... that shouldn't be the case. This is your way to help yourself. You start a log people will try to help you, post opinions, show support, a way to be honest with yourself to HELP yourself, and others you don't even know you are helping and you may not even realize it b/c maybe they are lurkers, experiencing the same things as you.

If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, like you wanna quit, pissed b/c you binged last night or WHATEVER, it is OK. We are here to help you and NOT to judge you. Don't EVER feel like you can't post b/c you can't take the reality of what you really ate last night, over the weekend, on your vacation ... Make the most out of your log to help you identify these patterns so you can overcome them. Better yet, you can take THAT positive mentality & encourgement you learn, receive & give yourself here & apply it to your every day life off EF in social situations or when you are asking yourself if you should really eat that pint of icecream.

Sorry for the mini rant. I SO want you to succeed and get through this b/c you can help MANY women get over the same type of situation you are in yourself ... including me :rose:
 
sbt2082 said:
DOn't let those people get to ya... I'm sure in a few months time especially with good diet and training you'll be allllll set...

And I agree with T trying adding in some fat to that last meal, because I used to have the same problem and would ALWAYS wake up hungry (granted I didn't get up and eat a bunch, but would still wake up starving) but after adding in some PB or almonds that seemed to take care of it a little better :heart:
Click to expand...

Hell Yaeh! Thanks sbt, I was in a rut...out of it now and still moving forward... thank you :heart:
 
treilin said:
Yeah I'm dealing with that now.. but how I made it o.k. is I figure it's going to take me awhile to get to where I want to be.. and that I can't look like I'm on stage for 365 days of the year. The only way to see change on stage, is to see change in the winter... So hide the excess with the right clothes in the winter, begin to shed clothes as the summer roles around.
I am sure it would be a blow if someone said that to you. You just have to look inward and just be o.k. with the way you look no matter what people say. If your BF is happy with you also then there shouldn't be any issues with what everyone else says. It is easier IMO for most men to get lean and bulk then it is for women. Guys carry excess weight and they just look muscular and big. Girls' carry excess weight we look like Plump and smooth. I don't know to many women who like to look 'big' like men. We can't carry it as 'gracefully' and still feel as feminine as we do when we are cut and stage ready. Just have to be happy and understand your body goes through these phases to become better and better...
Maybe.... Post some pictures up here and start typing in this log your daily food, and weights and just have something to hold yourself accountable too. Then take like bi-weekly pictures and we can help tell you where we see change. Most of the time we are harder on ourselves, and don't see the changes because we see ourselves every day and have a distorted image of what we really look like. Like take a 3 month goal and get yourself a little ticker like I have at the bottom of the signature and shoot for it. Small goals help keep our mind busy till we reach the big overall goals :heart:
Click to expand...

Thanks T, I know I can't look stage day ready 365...I just don't want to be 40 pounds over my contest weight either...its getting to that happy medium. I have to get a new camera, I'll do that and post up some pictures :) And your right its about being comfortable in my own skin... and I am determined to get there. Thank you for the words of encouragement, it means alot! :heart: (How do I post pic's? Just put up a photobucket link?)
 
dutch diva said:
Thanks T, I know I can't look stage day ready 365...I just don't want to be 40 pounds over my contest weight either...its getting to that happy medium. I have to get a new camera, I'll do that and post up some pictures :) And your right its about being comfortable in my own skin... and I am determined to get there. Thank you for the words of encouragement, it means alot! :heart: (How do I post pic's? Just put up a photobucket link?)
Click to expand...
Yep that's how I do it! Have a good rest of your weekend!
 
*Bunny* said:
You CAN and you WILL ... you are taking the right steps to conquer this DD. Believe that & the rest will slowly fall into place.

I will suggest NOT to follow the path of many other loggers who just STOPPED logging b/c they couldn't deal with the comments & being honest with themselves. It's as if too much honesty led them to failure ... that shouldn't be the case. This is your way to help yourself. You start a log people will try to help you, post opinions, show support, a way to be honest with yourself to HELP yourself, and others you don't even know you are helping and you may not even realize it b/c maybe they are lurkers, experiencing the same things as you.

If you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, like you wanna quit, pissed b/c you binged last night or WHATEVER, it is OK. We are here to help you and NOT to judge you. Don't EVER feel like you can't post b/c you can't take the reality of what you really ate last night, over the weekend, on your vacation ... Make the most out of your log to help you identify these patterns so you can overcome them. Better yet, you can take THAT positive mentality & encourgement you learn, receive & give yourself here & apply it to your every day life off EF in social situations or when you are asking yourself if you should really eat that pint of icecream.

Sorry for the mini rant. I SO want you to succeed and get through this b/c you can help MANY women get over the same type of situation you are in yourself ... including me :rose:
Click to expand...

Hey Bunny, sorry i took a bit to get back to you on that post. Thank you for your support. I would never quit my journal, I'm not here for a pat on the back, I'm here for honesty and helpful critques! So you bet I'll be on here for a while.

I think there are alot of women out there with similar problems and ways to relate, so any help these boards bring to those is fantastic, I know i was reading many days when i was depressed and just needed to relax and read people with similar struggles.
 
So it turned out to be a great weekend, I really turned things around.... in terms of my perspective and continued persistance with my goals.

Training the last 2 days was just cardio ....1 hr sessions, 30 mins HITT on tredmill & 30 mins arch trainer & ab's on Saturday. Diet was clean... and I'm ready for the week ahead.

I just left my thesis advisors office and i should be super stressed with the work I need to accomplish by Thurs but it's funny I'm more stressed in life about appearance. Do you think we create just problems with our bodies so that we don't have to deal with the greater problems, almost a distraction. I dunno, I feel like I would be bored if i didn't have to worry about my weight some days.
Have a great week everyone, diet and training later today.
 
Cardio only again today: GARBAGE... I have some mega work to hand in tomorrow so I went and HITT IT, literally.

Diet t post at the end of the day
 
M1:1 scoop protein, 30 grms oats
M2: 1 scoop protein, 30 grms oats
M3: 8 egg whites & 1 veggie cheese slice & 4 large rice cakes
M4: 2 TBSP PB
M5: 2 TBSP PB
M6: 2 TBSP PB

Ok so I ate alot of PB tonight, had my nose in the books ..... thats the only excuse I can think of.
Night :qt:
 
dutch diva said:
Figure Turns Pic's:

http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/1.jpg
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/2.jpg
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/3.jpg

Current Pic's: ( sorry for the inability to take pic's into the mirror, lol)
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/4.jpg
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/5.jpg
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n224/sd98ah/6.jpg
Click to expand...

All I hear is blah blah blah.... Are you kidding? Your bf's friend's cannot tell you work-out??? Uhmm hit them with the stupid stick!
I think you look really good! You have an off season body but there is nothing wrong with that! Again... even your off season is nothing, o.k. NOTHING to be at all worried about!!!!!

I have to take my pics in the mirror also... At least you have them up here.
So what's the goal now?!?!?

Diet looked a bit low on protein today... Looks like another PB freak we have here! Do you have your macro's figured out?
 
Thanks T, I appreciate your FB...I think it's because they see me in "normal clothes", if they saw me in the gym, they'd see I'm big not from fat but muscle..I can see veins again today in my shoulders :)

The goal is to see what i did in the off-season, lean out! I'm pumped today, had a solid am cardio session & weights. Slept well at the BF's so I'm moving in the rioght direction. I am cutting my carb's down to first am meal 30gms oats, and post workout 30gms... see what kind of difference's i can make.

Without sounding like a drug addict I need an edge, so I have added T-3 something many of you may disagree on, but I started it today and I'll keep you posted on my progress. I picked up a strong ass ECA stack at 25mcg eph, and I'm cycling T-3 into this equation. I know clean diet and training are 95% of it, but that 5% edge is what I need right now. I was anticipating originally to do a 8 week cycle hitting 50mcg at peak...but I'm now mapping out what i can do with the amt. I picked up, 40 tabs at 60mcg. I also am going to order YES today :), do you think I should add anything else to this order? I have tried the glucorrol (sp?) previous and found it helpful....but I'm reducing my carbs to two meals...

Training:
4x 8-12 each exercise
Chins Wide Grip
Chins Close Grip
T-Bar Row
High cable reverse flies
Lat Pull downs

Biceps:4x 8-10
Barbell curls
Incline DB curls
Cable bent e-z bar curls
21's with e-z bar
High Cables

Cardio:
30 minutes running with intervals
30mins steady state stepmill!

Have a great day :)
 
M1: oats 30 gms & protein scoop
M2: sensation bar (WAS IN A JAM)
M3: oats 30 grms and protein scoop
M4: 8 egg whites, 3 rice cakes , 1 veggie cheese slice
M5: 1 tbsp PB and huge salad all greens
M6: 1 scoop whey, 1 tbsp pb
 
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