Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
Dr_Strangelove
New member
Hello all!
So I'm VERY VERY new to the world of PEDs and to the fitness world as a whole so I'm probably a bit of a joke to most of you that are ripped and actually like what you see in the mirror. But I want to be one of you, so here I am.
I'm 45 with a lovely wife and great kids. Im retired military and got out after 21 years due to a major back injury. Had 3 surgeries on it and it got A LITTLE BIT better. After some years laying around popping pills and drinking too much my body is an embarrassing mess. I got depressed and things got super dark, until one night I almost joined the 22 Club, but my wife talked me down and I went to rehab for alcohol.
I'm clean and sober 3 years now, and although no pain pills leaves me in a lot of pain, i am determined to not be ashamed of taking my shirt off in public. At my heaviest, I was 265, pretty much all fat. My face was puffy and I looked like microwaved dog shit. I stopped depression eating like a pig and am now at 225, but I still look disgusting so there is a lot of work I've got to do.
My wife had the bright idea to get be on TRT, and although the VA told me a test level of 206 wasn't low enough to warrant TRT through them i was given trt through a major online clinic and have been on it since August 12th.
I take 2 shots a week, Wednesday morning and Saturday night, 0.30mL each time (120mg/wk).
Since getting put on TRT life has gotten SO much better. Im sleeping, I'm happier and I feel better about myself which is great.
Although lately I've been in a really depressed mood, struggling with feeling ugly and unhappy with my life and how I look over all. Not sure if that's the trt, or just my normal self returning after the TRT Honeymoon.
Working out with the back pain is an issue, but I want to get past that bc I know once I gain some muscle, I'll be more stable and thru that I'll have less pain. But as if right now, I don't really work out. I don't know how.
In the military i ran......a LOT bc of my job, and I stayed in great shape and maintained a great musculature just by showing up and doing the training and all that. But now I'm an accountant that sits at a desk all day so I've wasted away the muscle and replaced it with fat.
So..... for the last 3 weeks I've done a VERY VERY minimal work out at home with 30 and 40 pound dumb bells, just arm curls and things to work out my triceps (don't know what they are called but I put the 40 lbs behind my head and lift it over my head and then back down behind my head..... sorry I'm really ignorant of all this)
But basically I struggle to do a few push ups at this point. I know, I know........ eww
But like I said, I'm determined. I want to look good ONE more time before I die. I want my wife to drool when she sees me. And at this point I'll do anything to get it, but for someone like me, that has ZERO knowledge it's daunting. It's so much info and so much of it is conflicting and confusing.
I'm the process of looking for sermorlin I found this site. Everyone was so nice and helpful and suggested i create a journal to get suggestions and guidance. So here i am.
I would REALLY like to add something to stack with the test, bc like I said, at this point I'm willing to shoot all kinds of shit in my ass to get to where I want to be. Grok said anavar or trenbolon is most used, but I don't really know.
Age-45
Weight-225
Height-6'1
Gear-120/w test
Diet: (probably atrocious but I lost 40lbs in 6 months on it)
Breakfast- Chik fila chicken biscuit w/1 sauce
Lunch- small bowl of yogurt with fruit/granola
Dinner- usually nothing
Workout- 30xbiceps + 30xtriceps each day
Other things- I take Adderall for Adhd, buprenorphine for pain (doesn't work but the va makes me take it in order to get the Adderall for what ever reason) vit d,a,c and magnesium.
That's it. That's me. Like I said, I don't really know what I'm doing or how to start. The few times I've tried to get in the gym since getting hurt I've gained zero muscle and got frustrated and quit. Is there hope for me?
Thanks for your time and support.
So I'm VERY VERY new to the world of PEDs and to the fitness world as a whole so I'm probably a bit of a joke to most of you that are ripped and actually like what you see in the mirror. But I want to be one of you, so here I am.
I'm 45 with a lovely wife and great kids. Im retired military and got out after 21 years due to a major back injury. Had 3 surgeries on it and it got A LITTLE BIT better. After some years laying around popping pills and drinking too much my body is an embarrassing mess. I got depressed and things got super dark, until one night I almost joined the 22 Club, but my wife talked me down and I went to rehab for alcohol.
I'm clean and sober 3 years now, and although no pain pills leaves me in a lot of pain, i am determined to not be ashamed of taking my shirt off in public. At my heaviest, I was 265, pretty much all fat. My face was puffy and I looked like microwaved dog shit. I stopped depression eating like a pig and am now at 225, but I still look disgusting so there is a lot of work I've got to do.
My wife had the bright idea to get be on TRT, and although the VA told me a test level of 206 wasn't low enough to warrant TRT through them i was given trt through a major online clinic and have been on it since August 12th.
I take 2 shots a week, Wednesday morning and Saturday night, 0.30mL each time (120mg/wk).
Since getting put on TRT life has gotten SO much better. Im sleeping, I'm happier and I feel better about myself which is great.
Although lately I've been in a really depressed mood, struggling with feeling ugly and unhappy with my life and how I look over all. Not sure if that's the trt, or just my normal self returning after the TRT Honeymoon.
Working out with the back pain is an issue, but I want to get past that bc I know once I gain some muscle, I'll be more stable and thru that I'll have less pain. But as if right now, I don't really work out. I don't know how.
In the military i ran......a LOT bc of my job, and I stayed in great shape and maintained a great musculature just by showing up and doing the training and all that. But now I'm an accountant that sits at a desk all day so I've wasted away the muscle and replaced it with fat.
So..... for the last 3 weeks I've done a VERY VERY minimal work out at home with 30 and 40 pound dumb bells, just arm curls and things to work out my triceps (don't know what they are called but I put the 40 lbs behind my head and lift it over my head and then back down behind my head..... sorry I'm really ignorant of all this)
But basically I struggle to do a few push ups at this point. I know, I know........ eww
But like I said, I'm determined. I want to look good ONE more time before I die. I want my wife to drool when she sees me. And at this point I'll do anything to get it, but for someone like me, that has ZERO knowledge it's daunting. It's so much info and so much of it is conflicting and confusing.
I'm the process of looking for sermorlin I found this site. Everyone was so nice and helpful and suggested i create a journal to get suggestions and guidance. So here i am.
I would REALLY like to add something to stack with the test, bc like I said, at this point I'm willing to shoot all kinds of shit in my ass to get to where I want to be. Grok said anavar or trenbolon is most used, but I don't really know.
Age-45
Weight-225
Height-6'1
Gear-120/w test
Diet: (probably atrocious but I lost 40lbs in 6 months on it)
Breakfast- Chik fila chicken biscuit w/1 sauce
Lunch- small bowl of yogurt with fruit/granola
Dinner- usually nothing
Workout- 30xbiceps + 30xtriceps each day
Other things- I take Adderall for Adhd, buprenorphine for pain (doesn't work but the va makes me take it in order to get the Adderall for what ever reason) vit d,a,c and magnesium.
That's it. That's me. Like I said, I don't really know what I'm doing or how to start. The few times I've tried to get in the gym since getting hurt I've gained zero muscle and got frustrated and quit. Is there hope for me?
Thanks for your time and support.
