Dog Dialogue...

[addickt]

So I go home every night after a long fight with the censorship and oppressive people who try and stifle my life...

And then I have to deal with my fucking dog... He is a talking dog, mind you. Out of all of the dogs in the world I had to pick the one that talks..Here is my dialogue with my dog last night.. Just so you know what I have to deal with. My dogs name is dexter.

I walk in the door......................

Dexter: (trotting up with a chew toy) "Hey fuckhead, I gotta piss so let me the fuck outside."

Me: "Ok buddy, lets go outside. You have a good day puppy?"

Dexter: " fuck you asshole, I gotta piss, and by the way, I farted on your pillow case today"

Me: "Which Pillowcase?"

Dexter: "wouldnt you like to know", "I also licked my balls all day and thought of your wife."

Me: " damn, so now I gotta wash all the pillow cases?"

Dexter: (farts, and looks at me like he doesnt understand}

Me: "Fucking dog"

Dexter: RAHHHRAHGRGGGRGGGGRRAAAA

Me: (Flesh tearing) "Ahh, by leg, owww my ballllssss!!!!!!!!" Let go Dexter , let go dexter, Somebody call 911!!!!!

Dexter: "I will tell where your shit is at"

Me: "sorry buddy"

Dexter: "Now gimme some bologna and turn on Animal Planet"



See guys I just cant win.




This is by far the dumbest thing I have ever posted so now If I get banned people can look back at this and think how stupid I was.

 

[Raghead Remover]

I Chuckled.

 

[addickt]

It sounds to me like you really need someone to talk to.

My shrink costs like 150 dollars an hour. I usually cancel my appointments and get a whore for 100. That way i can talk and fuck at the same time. Plus she doesnt try to have me committed. ( Usually)

clouds are like heavens pillows.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Cousin of Sam?

 

[HappyScrappy]

lol @ machine
addicky, you might want to take note of what machine said and watch your neighbors - your dog could be telling them to kill kill kill much like serial killers of the past

 

[the nature boy]

I thought you were off the drugs?

 

[addickt]

one more hour and I have to deal with him again. I hope he had a good day.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

one more hour and I have to deal with him again. I hope he had a good day.

Hmmm... even if he does talk, he is STILL a dog you know...

 

[addickt]

Hmmm... even if he does talk, he is STILL a dog you know...

He knows all my secrets and he threatens to tell on me if I dont cooperate. He pretended he couldnt talk for the first 6 months, so as to gain my trust. He is a spoiled little fucker, sits on his ass all day and jerks off to The Westminster Dog Show, sitting on MY couch, eating MY steaks and sniffing on MY wifes Panties.

Crafty dogs; those retrievers are... Crafty indeed.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

I hear dog fur is warm in the winter. My buddy only caught three this year -- it takes four to make two shirts and two pants. I guess he's going to go with two shirts, one pants, one shorts this year.

 

[TN MuscleBear]

This is by far the dumbest thing I have ever posted so now If I get banned people can look back at this and think how stupid I was.

Don't be so hard on yourself addickt - you've got posts much more stupid on the board right now...

 

[addickt]

This is by far the dumbest thing I have ever posted so now If I get banned people can look back at this and think how stupid I was.

Don't be so hard on yourself addickt - you've got posts much more stupid on the board right now...

Thank you. I wish I was that guy in the video game " Dig Dug" so I could pump them up with a hose until they exploded. That would be a very cool idea for Ron Popeil too.

 

[TN MuscleBear]

Thank you. I wish I was that guy in the video game " Dig Dug" so I could pump them up with a hose until they exploded. That would be a very cool idea for Ron Popeil too.

I'd buy one.

 

[polarpixie]

your dog farted on your pillow??? Now that is just wrong!!!!