some things are easy to do the easy way (i.e., learning from the mistakes of others).
but when it comes to the big stuff (love, etc.), i think most of us have to fuck things up for ourselves. there's a reason it happens over and over again to people...shit is too tempting and our weak minds come up with rationalizations whenever needed. after a few personal fuckups, it's possible to learn. maybe. i've heard.