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Lil Johnny's mother was cleaning one weekend and found this letter that he
had sent to Santa the previous year.
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred
since the beginning of the month!
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades,
and a football uniform. I destroyed my brains studying the whole year!
Not only was I first in my class, but I had the best grades in the
whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my
entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors. I would go on errands and even
help the elderly cross the streets. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't
do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS
WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE
FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE.
AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD
ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS
DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY
CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR!
I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS,
AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK
TO THE NORTH POLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT
FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BASTARD!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!!!
had sent to Santa the previous year.
Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December.
Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred
since the beginning of the month!
I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades,
and a football uniform. I destroyed my brains studying the whole year!
Not only was I first in my class, but I had the best grades in the
whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my
entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my
brothers, my friends and with my neighbors. I would go on errands and even
help the elderly cross the streets. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't
do for humanity!
WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS
WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE
FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE.
AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCKED ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE SHITHEAD
ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS
DAMN HOUSE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT ASS DOWN MY
CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR!
I'LL FUCK YOU UP! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS,
AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS BACK
TO THE NORTH POLE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT
FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BASTARD!
YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA, FUCK YOU!!!
damn you. You made me spew protein shake on my monitor again. 
