Dear Martha

[Nathan]

What do you think about children? The ones who are missing hands I mean.

 

[MarthaStewart]

In general, I have no qualms with children. Many times you have to beat them in order to get them to learn anything, but they serve their purpose.

For instance, you have already mentioned that toddlers play a key role in bear attack defense.

Not all of us can spend time wearing one of those anti-bear suits.

As for the ones that are missing limbs - aside from sex toys, I'm not sure I see much use for them.

Wait, you meant live children right?

 

[Nathan]

Wait, you meant live children right?

No. However, there isn't really much difference I guess, except the dead ones aren't likely to get any fatter.

 

[MarthaStewart]

No. However, there isn't really much difference I guess, except the dead ones aren't likely to get any fatter.

True.
Which reminds me how much I fat people. Not just fat kids - everyone hates them.
But I'm talking grown ups.
People that are older than say 12 - so they are legal to have sex with regardless of if they are in a wheelchair or not.

When I'm at McDonalds and eating like 15 cheeseburgers, it just makes me sick to see some of these fat people waddling in and ordering food. And then paying for it.

I don't know what it is about them, but I just wouldn't want one of them sitting on any part of me.

 

[buttplug]

No. However, there isn't really much difference I guess, except the dead ones aren't likely to get any fatter.

They only get fat if you feed them. If you keep them in a cave and give them a little water and bread once a week, they'll be fine.

 

[from zero]

Best thread ever!

 

[MarthaStewart]

They only get fat if you feed them. If you keep them in a cave and give them a little water and bread once a week, they'll be fine.

A cave?
Where the fuck do you live?

Whatever happened to raising children in the closet?

Fucking backwoods hick.

 

[buttplug]

A cave?
Where the fuck do you live?

Whatever happened to raising children in the closet?

Fucking backwoods hick.

Did you not see the Canadia flag by my name? Is it not self-explanatory?

 

[MarthaStewart]

Did you not see the Canadia flag by my name? Is it not self-explanatory?

I've always found Florida oppresive this time of year.

 

[WarriorPL]

A cave?
Where the fuck do you live?

Whatever happened to raising children in the closet?

Fucking backwoods hick.

CLoset? that's a little harsh. At least give them a choice between the attic or basement.

 

[Nathan]

True.
Which reminds me how much I fat people. Not just fat kids - everyone hates them.
But I'm talking grown ups.
People that are older than say 12 - so they are legal to have sex with regardless of if they are in a wheelchair or not.

When I'm at McDonalds and eating like 15 cheeseburgers, it just makes me sick to see some of these fat people waddling in and ordering food. And then paying for it.

I don't know what it is about them, but I just wouldn't want one of them sitting on any part of me.

The only good thing about fat people is that you can usually shoot them a good few times before they die. And then, when they do die, you can jump up and down on them until their fat starts to shoot out of their orifices. Then you can shoot them some more.

 

[from zero]

Best thread ever!

 

[MarthaStewart]

Did you not see the Canadia flag by my name? Is it not self-explanatory?

no seriously though - where do you live?

like your address.

I've been to Canada before - do know Bob?
He works in an office.

 

[MarthaStewart]

The only good thing about fat people is that you can usually shoot them a good few times before they die. And then, when they do die, you can jump up and down on them until their fat starts to shoot out of their orifices. Then you can shoot them some more.

I don't have very good balance, so I can't be jumping up and down on fatties.
Homeless people are a whole 'nother story though.
I can jump up and down on them like a mofo - most of those guys are pretty skinny.

I think that should be a new diet trend.
I can just see people now "Marge! You look like you have lose weight!"
"Yeah, I have - I'm on that new 'Homeless Diet' - I sleep under a bridge and mutter to myself while swatting away at the invisible monsters that live in my hair. I don't really eat anything that I can't find in a trash can, and it is more of a liquid diet of malt liquor and MadDog 20/20. Five pounds this week!"

 

[buttplug]

no seriously though - where do you live?

like your address.

I've been to Canada before - do know Bob?
He works in an office.

173 St-Vallier O.

We all know Bob that works in an office. All of us.

 

[WODIN]

I know bob....

 

[from zero]

I know a Robert.

 

[Nathan]

173 St-Vallier O.

We all know Bob that works in an office. All of us.

What city? What province? Do you like cookies?

 

[MarthaStewart]

173 St-Vallier O.

We all know Bob that works in an office. All of us.

I'm pretty sure I've been there. I've been all over Canada.
Toronto and Montreal. and this other place - but I forget what it is called. Halifax and that sort of thing.

 

[buttplug]

What city? What province? Do you like cookies?

Quebec city. I only like the oreo stuffing. If you make me a big ball of it without a razor blade in it, I'll fuck your brains out.

 

[Nathan]

Quebec city. I only like the oreo stuffing. If you make me a big ball of it without a razor blade in it, I'll fuck your brains out.

I like this girl. She appears to have a good sense of humor. How can we be sure you're really who you say you are though? And by that I mean I hot Canadian girl who'll fuck my brains out for some oreo filling? You did say you were hot right?

 

[MarthaStewart]

I really think this is the greatest thread.

it started off wonderfully and now has turned into Candianers talking about ass love.

 

[Nathan]

I really think this is the greatest thread.

it started off wonderfully and now has turned into Candianers talking about ass love.

Shut up, you'll jinx it.

 

[buttplug]

I like this girl. She appears to have a good sense of humor. How can we be sure you're really who you say you are though? And by that I mean I hot Canadian girl who'll fuck my brains out for some oreo filling? You did say you were hot right?

I never said I was hot. o.o

I'd fuck your brains out because of your avatar. Furries. YIFFY.

 

[gymtime]

I really think this is the greatest thread.

it started off wonderfully and now has turned into Candianers talking about ass love.

But honestly, isn't that where most all threads end up?

 

[Nathan]

I never said I was hot. o.o

I'd fuck your brains out because of your avatar. Furries. YIFFY.

What does o.o mean? Are you saying you aren't hot? Why not? Do you have pics? Lucky for you, I'm totally hot.

 

[buttplug]

What does o.o mean? Are you saying you aren't hot? Why not? Do you have pics? Lucky for you, I'm totally hot.

It's... a consterned face.

If you want pics, pm. I don't like to post them all over the place.

And as far as your hotness goes... I'll just take your word for it because I'm gullible like that.

 

[kubang]

In general, I have no qualms with children. Many times you have to beat them in order to get them to learn anything, but they serve their purpose.

ur poor kids.u really that stupid?? u r gonna bet up ur kids just to get them to learn something???

 

[Nathan]

It's... a consterned face.

If you want pics, pm. I don't like to post them all over the place.

And as far as your hotness goes... I'll just take your word for it because I'm gullible like that.

Well, that sounds reasonable. I don't have any pics to offer back, so so long as you know that going in, I'm game. I've been meaning to take some though. I'm just super lazy. What do you look like? How old are you? I can't remember why I'm asking all these questions. Oh yeah, you're a female with a good sense of humor, which is very rare. I'm still really fucking hot. No lie.

 

[MarthaStewart]

It's... a consterned face.

If you want pics, pm. I don't like to post them all over the place.

And as far as your hotness goes... I'll just take your word for it because I'm gullible like that.

you can trust me, as someone that you've never met, that Nathan is hot.

I've never seen his pics.

 

[Nathan]

ur poor kids.u really that stupid?? u r gonna bet up ur kids just to get them to learn something???

I love it when people don't understand what sarcasm is.

 

[gymtime]

you can trust me, as someone that you've never met, that Nathan is hot.

I've never seen his pics.

Seconded. I have no idea what Nathan looks like, but I assure you I'd totally do him.

 

[Nathan]

I should just post some pics already. I really am pretty. You'd all look at me and say, "Wow. That guy is pretty. I'll bet he can do summersaults." I can do summersaults too.

 

[from zero]

I love it when people don't understand what sarcasm is.

YOU don't understand what it is, you idiot!

Before kubang verbally assaults me ... I'm being sarcastic.

 

[buttplug]

ur poor kids.u really that stupid?? u r gonna bet up ur kids just to get them to learn something???

Jesus Christ; how dumb are you?

 

[Bullit]

Wait a sec.... I want in on this deal.

I'm in Canada too, am really fuckin hot and can make you a ball of oreo stuffing.
Do I get to hit it?

 

[buttplug]

you can trust me, as someone that you've never met, that Nathan is hot.

I've never seen his pics.

Who wouldn't trust Martha?

 

[Nathan]

Wait a sec.... I want in on this deal.

I'm in Canada too, am really fuckin hot and can make you a ball of oreo stuffing.
Do I get to hit it?

He's telling the truth about everything but being hot. My e-mail is [email protected] so you can send me pics if you feel comfortable. To describe myself, I'm 5'10", 215 lbs and 9% bodyfat. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have three tattoos on my rippling torso, all of which are super awesome, trust me. I have a huge dick and know how to use it. Everything was true up to the part about my dick. I won't promise anything in that department.

 

[Bullit]

My e-mail is [email protected] ...

And I thought there was only 1 internet romeo on EF.

 

[Nathan]

Don't send your pics to anyone else though. They won't leave you alone, you're way too pretty.

 

[from zero]

He's telling the truth about everything but being hot. My e-mail is [email protected] so you can send me pics if you feel comfortable. To describe myself, I'm 5'10", 215 lbs and 9% bodyfat. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have three tattoos on my rippling torso, all of which are super awesome, trust me. I have a huge dick and know how to use it. Everything was true up to the part about my dick. I won't promise anything in that department.

By "super awesome," I believe Nathan means "rainbow penises and fairies."

I don't know, I could be wrong though.

 

[MarthaStewart]

And I thought there was only 1 internet romeo on EF.

no way man, that's me

 

[Bullit]

no way man, that's me

Thats who I was talkin 'bout... but it looks like Nathan is learning from you.

 

[Nathan]

no way man, that's me

lol. It's only too true.

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

Quebec city. I only like the oreo stuffing. If you make me a big ball of it without a razor blade in it, I'll fuck your brains out.

Nathan, sex. Take her up on this.

And it's with a girl this time! (supposedly)

 

[buttplug]

Nathan, sex. Take her up on this.

And it's with a girl this time! (supposedly)

Did you just say sex? I think you forgot the adjective "mindblowing" in front of the sex part.

 

[MarthaStewart]

If there isn't anal love that comes from this, I'm personally going to be very dissappointed.

Incidentally, is the username "buttslut" taken?

 

[Nathan]

Nathan, sex. Take her up on this.

And it's with a girl this time! (supposedly)

I know, I know. I'm pretty excited. I'm trying to figure out what I should wear right now. Whatever outfit I choose won't include pants.

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

Did you just say sex? I think you forgot the adjective "mindblowing" in front of the sex part.

You think wrongly.

I didn't include that adjective because I'm not too avid a liar.

Were I to give it a description, I'd choose "better than maturbation...by a little bit".

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

I know, I know. I'm pretty excited. I'm trying to figure out what I should wear right now. Whatever outfit I choose won't include pants.

Whatever you wear, make sure it's (or they're) still alive while you wear it (or them).

A suit of bees would surely be impressive. I was thinking perhaps American eels, since they can spend considerable time out of water if kept moist, but their mucilage will make it too hard to keep them aggregated. Really a downer that you can't choose them. They would make for good lube, I'd imagine.

 

[buttplug]

If there isn't anal love that comes from this, I'm personally going to be very dissappointed.

Incidentally, is the username "buttslut" taken?

I'm pretty sure it isn't. I'd jump on it if I was you.

 

[MarthaStewart]

1) "buttslut" is a great username - but I feel like one of the gay guys of yesteryore used it.

2) I have a slight memory of European Eels being unable to do something - but I'm not sure what it is that they can't do - whatever it is makes for death on their part... read it recently and obviously it really stuck with me.

3) I'm giddy with excitement (and a very small amount of excrement) that I'm gonna be able to have an avatar soon. I'm gonna make it fugly to be sure.

 

[buttplug]

I'm pretty sure eels can't jump back into water if they accidently happen to get out of there, somehow. Maybe that's it?

I feel you for #3.

Mine's all good and ready to be posted. I hope it causes an epilepsy crisis to someone when it's up, if not I'll be disappointed.

 

[Nathan]

Eels are interesting, but they're no platypii. I'm deeply suspicious of any animal that doesn't have a beak, or tusks. I could sure go for a nice big set of tusks. I don't know exactly what I'd do with them, but whatever it is, it would certainly involve asphyxiation and babies.

 

[kubang]

...

ma picka vam materina vsem po vrsti.takega butastega foruma ze dolgo nisem videl.ta martha pa nathan se pecarite namesto da si napiseta da bi se fukala pa zdravo.
ce ti kreten jedan zacnes pisat rubriko iz sarkazma potem to bolje napisi idiot jedan.
picka vam nedemokraticna!

 

[Nathan]

Re: ...

ma picka vam materina vsem po vrsti.takega butastega foruma ze dolgo nisem videl.ta martha pa nathan se pecarite namesto da si napiseta da bi se fukala pa zdravo.
ce ti kreten jedan zacnes pisat rubriko iz sarkazma potem to bolje napisi idiot jedan.
picka vam nedemokraticna!

Don't think I don't see my name in there because I totally do.

 

[kubang]

ja res si fajn starac.svaka ti dala

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

1) "buttslut" is a great username - but I feel like one of the gay guys of yesteryore used it.

2) I have a slight memory of European Eels being unable to do something - but I'm not sure what it is that they can't do - whatever it is makes for death on their part... read it recently and obviously it really stuck with me.

3) I'm giddy with excitement (and a very small amount of excrement) that I'm gonna be able to have an avatar soon. I'm gonna make it fugly to be sure.

Often, when they go to the ocean to spawn, they die before returning. However, some make it. Those old ones are pretty big, and much darker than the olive-colored young ones. Also I did not mention European Anguilla. I mentioned American Anguilla. Basically the same, but their chemoreceptors are attuned to their origins, so they don't get confused about their spawning grounds and such.

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

I'm pretty sure eels can't jump back into water if they accidently happen to get out of there, somehow. Maybe that's it?

I feel you for #3.

Mine's all good and ready to be posted. I hope it causes an epilepsy crisis to someone when it's up, if not I'll be disappointed.

That's not it.

 

[slickdadd]

Hey guys. Im not from Canadia, but I could go for a box of doughnut holes right now. Whos coming with me.....

 

[MarthaStewart]

I loves me some donut holes.

 

[anabolicmd]

I loves me some donut holes.

Chocolate glazed I bet.

 

[MarthaStewart]

Chocolate glazed I bet.

actually I don't like the chocolate ones.

I like just the straight up glazed ones and a lot of milk.

I haven't had those in well over a year.

 

[Y_lifter]

Jelly filled doughnut holes are the only Dunkin D variety I care for.
We all know about my "Issues" with Krispy Kreme..

As for milk, even since living in Taiwan for 2 years as a kid and having to drink US Navy Powdered milk, I can't stand plain white milk... Chocolate milk, Strawberry, Ice Cream yea.