Dazed and Confused

[PBR]

I have to get this out guys/gals.....as some of you know, my wife left me over 2 1/2 years ago unexpectedly for another guy at my gym and it was quite devastating for me to say the least....it tore up our families and everyone around....we have only corresponded thru the mail a couple of times since then....a few weeks ago she showed up in my gym to work out....I flipped out and told her so, that i thought this was inappropriate....we made an agreement to workout at opposite times....well tonight we ran into each other...(i knew this would happen sooner or later)...i was calm actually, but my heart sank still the same....she came up to me and said that she was sorry for being there at my time...i told her no big deal, that i was at fault for being later than normal....we made small talk,
She could hardly speak as her voice was shaking....i looked right into her eyes and did not move from there....i thought she was going to start crying, but she held her composure, she reached out and grabbed my arm as she turned and walked away....upon my leaving, she was on a bench very close to me, so i went over to say goodbye....i could not help it and put my hand on her back and shoulder...i bent down to say goodbye and she said something, i dont remember....she moaned and sighed and suddenly kissed me on the lips and moaned again, she told me to take care....i think it hurt both of us...i dont know what to make of this....I am in a daze.....i have no one to tell what happened so iam here telling you....i needed to get it out, hope you understand.....girls, whats going on here, if anything???? just part of closure????

 

[GodOfThunder]

Man I don't think you should have apologized for being there at her time. I don't know what to make of your girl kissing you. Maybe she just was overcomed by her feelings and kissed you? Maybe some of the women on the board can decipher this. Good luckbrogan.

 

[CFZB]

let the ladies Field this one....im sure they will have tons of input...

 

[spongebob]

man thats tough, sounds like she has a very heavy heart for what happened and may even regret it terribly.

 

[PBR]

i dont know guys....im numb right now....i dont know what to think or how....

 

[havoc]

Pretty deep emotions involved in that scenario.

Below are some suggestions/comments and things not to do, just for your emotional security and stability.

1. Don't read too much into this

2. She knows what she did was not the right thing or it could of been handled better.

3. Don't contact her, if anything let her contact or approach you

4. She misses you

5. Remember the pain and anguish this caused.

6. Don't dwell on this, get busy living or get busy dying

7. Good luck, I hope what happens in your future benefits you and makes you smile man. peace

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

 

[WODIN]

Pretty deep emotions involved in that scenario.

Below are some suggestions/comments and things not to do, just for your emotional security and stability.

1. Don't read too much into this

2. She knows what she did was not the right thing or it could of been handled better.

3. Don't contact her, if anything let her contact or approach you

4. She misses you

5. Remember the pain and anguish this caused.

6. Don't dwell on this, get busy living or get busy dying

7. Good luck, I hope what happens in your future benefits you and makes you smile man. peace

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

Excellent advice.

 

[ChefWide]

Pretty deep emotions involved in that scenario.

Below are some suggestions/comments and things not to do, just for your emotional security and stability.

1. Don't read too much into this

2. She knows what she did was not the right thing or it could of been handled better.

3. Don't contact her, if anything let her contact or approach you

4. She misses you

5. Remember the pain and anguish this caused.

6. Don't dwell on this, get busy living or get busy dying

7. Good luck, I hope what happens in your future benefits you and makes you smile man. peace

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

Well spoken, even if he has a non-platinum member.

 

[jerseyart]

Run Bor

She didnt show u at the gym twice at "your time" by accident man. And the emotional display is just her way of inviting you in to fix whatever is wrong with her.

Ignore it and move the hell on. If shes having a bad time with the new guy it isnt your roblem. Nor is it if she suddenly got a pang of conscience and needs to purger herself at your expense. Move on and dont think about her if possible

 

[Carmen]

ok, woman's point of view:
a. she regrets what she did to a degree. i don't know about men, but women are sometimes more cerebral- we think and analyze and she may be wondering if she made a mistake.

b. you were something familiar to her for a long time- whoever her new guy is, she may not be feeling familiar to him at the moment- maybe they are having trouble or maybe whatever feelings she had that made her leave you, she's having them with him too.

c. time may have erased the memories of what it was about your marriage that made her want to leave. that happens to everyone.... when you think back to an old relationship, you think of it fondly, forgetting the troubles.

don't read into her moment of weakness too much- she'll probably regret it the next day. If you reconciled, think of the years of therapy you'd need together. thats no way to start a relationship. move on- good luck.

 

[The Greatest]

tough call, but once a cheater always a cheater. You must move on, if you were to get back together the trust would be destroyed.

 

[Delinquent]

I think that once she was with the other guy for a while, she finally realized what she gave up.

 

[i-Supplements]

I feel your pain PBR. I left my ex-wife over a year ago, and have been divorced since JUne. I can't help but to feel I made a huge mistake. I know I did the right thing but it is hard sometimes, and I miss her alot. We still talk and get together when she comes around, but it just makes things more difficult. I still have'nt even dated or wanted to date yet. It will take a long time to get over, but all we have is time.

 

[Carmen]

I feel your pain PBR. I left my ex-wife over a year ago, and have been divorced since JUne. I can't help but to feel I made a huge mistake. I know I did the right thing but it is hard sometimes, and I miss her alot. We still talk and get together when she comes around, but it just makes things more difficult. I still have'nt even dated or wanted to date yet. It will take a long time to get over, but all we have is time.

why did you divorce her?

 

[i-Supplements]

why did you divorce her?

She is from another country and her family was a big problem. Biiger than I was ready to take on. I may sound shallow, but it is a biiger picture than I would like to paint on here.

 

[Carmen]

She is from another country and her family was a big problem. Biiger than I was ready to take on. I may sound shallow, but it is a biiger picture than I would like to paint on here.

i think i can understand that- other cultures take family responsibility to a whole other level i think.
thats too bad.

 

[i-Supplements]

i think i can understand that- other cultures take family responsibility to a whole other level i think.
thats too bad.

Thanks for understanding. It has been a tough year, but it gets better day by day!

 

[PBR]

tough call, but once a cheater always a cheater. You must move on, if you were to get back together the trust would be destroyed.

yes...and i have to keep remembering that...like sugarplumb said, its hard to remember the bad things-(our marriage was blissful, truely) but turning 39 and having new breasts was too much of a temptation i guess (mid-life crisis)...i dont know. but the trust issue is all i think about. I feel that i was betrayed by my best friend, and that is something i dont think is ever forgotten....its sad really...i dont know of anyone who has had something serious at one time, lost it and gone back to being the same or better....nothing is ever the same, it will always be different, no matter what took place...thanks guys/gals for listening and your thoughts on this...