damn...at work and need to take a dump..

[malice]

this fucking sucks...i work at a mall. a shithole of a mall. a mall full of crackheads and economically challenged customers(you get the picture). last night after the gym, i feasted on hamburger patties, greens, and protein shakes. followed that up this morning with grits, chicken salad, and another shake. never took a dump. now, i can feel my insides bubbling. im a quarter through my shift and theres no way i can hold this armada of turds off. i dont have a private restroom so my only choice is to use one of the 3 stalls in the bathroom next to the food court. its so ghetto, theres holes in the stall walls and you can see the poor fucker next to you if you peep through. and these fuckers, they never look under the stalls to see if someones in there. they just go up to the stall and try to rip the fucking door off the hinges. many of times, i sit there doing my business and see some asshole through the crack. i tap my foot or fake a cough to let him know that im there but i guess they dont hear it? and the absolute worse thing is after they try the door, they peep through the crack only to make eye contact with you...and on top of ALL that, the best stall is the handicapped one(most spacious, normally the cleanest, if you can call it clean). but the toilet in that one is taller than the rest and i cant comfortably put my feet on the floor, so i tip toe it and my calves start straining. after 2 minutes, my legs start shaking and the floor starts to shake(its the upper level), making the guy next me think im beating off...

i can tell that this is going to be one of those dumps that leave you feeling dirty afterwards. like, you dont want to move around at all...

what a shitty situation...

 

[SupraHero]

Go in the dressing room, just make sure to take a couple shirts with ya hahahaha. Seriously what are you 12?? You haven't learned how to go in public yet?? Just say if someone goes to open they door hey asshole i'm taking a shit here. You sound a little paranoid to me bro.

 

[Lestat]

Lol.. great story.

 

[malice]

nah man, its not that. im one of those people that if im in a stall and no ones completely in the bathroom and someone walks in, i dont make a sound. not even a breathing noise. i absolutely hate taking shits in public. once, i held shit in for 4 days while i was at summer camp. there was this tale that some kid died because some spider bit him in the ass while he was loafing a turd.

im 21 btw.

 

[Y_lifter]

Must suck to be short huh ?

 

[SupraHero]

nah man, its not that. im one of those people that if im in a stall and no ones completely in the bathroom and someone walks in, i dont make a sound. not even a breathing noise. i absolutely hate taking shits in public. once, i held shit in for 4 days while i was at summer camp. there was this tale that some kid died because some spider bit him in the ass while he was loafing a turd.

im 21 btw.

HAAHAHAHA. If someone walks in the bathroom while I am taking a shit I try my best to drop a massive plop or at least a machine gun rattle of farts so they will hurry the fuck up and get outta the bathroom. Stop being so feminine and take your shit like a man.

 

[PoyeBoy]

the turd burglers going to steel your brown treasures

 

[Y_lifter]

We have Non English speaking cleaning crews that like to Stall Burgle so I started to say "Occupado"..

 

[jerkbox]

armada of turds......hahahah

drink some coffee dude, that'll make you not have to go....hehe

 

[AAP]

my stomach hurts after reading this.

 

[Y_lifter]

Once you have poopied in the woods, no place is off limits