Cornfuzed Newbie - ???

[EPROM]

So I'm 46, I look in the mirror and I see a weak, dumpy guy and all my gains from my iron-pumping youth are now gone. I've never done any gear before and know very little about it. ...So I say to myself, "I'll just hop right on over to elitefitness and see what I need to do to fix this!". Problem is that you guys use so many trendy catch-words that a poor ol' newbie doesn't even have a clue as to where to start.

I know "gear" = "steroids" ..after that you have various code-names for every form of gear available depending on the message poster.

I made this next paragraph up as an example of what a poor old newbie sees:

"New cycle, guys!! I've been major league stubin' on 3cc of Nubix with a mid-swat of G3. I've boosted my DX levels on a on-off 3-day cycle and doing a single slam of primoblomo on the off days. I've seen a major spike in overall k-plax levels and and serum tridoitall has remained in check throoughout the first two weeks, although Triblexin levels trended downward after that. I will supplement my post-cycle with a moderate DD4 soto and allow for my primera 3X for a proper g-plex calm down. This might keep my trib levels in check, too?"


...Make no sense at all, eh?



Can anyone point me to a very SIMPLE "gear plan" on this forum that a newbie can easily do? I'm not looking for complex rocket science, Mr. Universe-type gains, track marks, or building a clandestine laboratory in my kitchen. I was really hoping for a very simple oral-based plan that won't shrink my balls, eliminate woodies and make me bald, but will help me look fairly fit at my ripe 46 year age. ....Is this possible?

Sincerely,
EPROM

 

[gunnz]

Steroids wont get U there. Diet + Hard work = Goals!! As for anyone giving U advice on a "gear plan" I dont think thats gonna happen. Please read stickies & Checkout the Diet & Training forums!!

 

[automaticj5]

a few weeks of reading everyones posts and the stickies and you should have a good idea of what can supplement your hard work and great diet...

 

[drsketch]

Bro I would start off with blood work at the doctors office and go from their. Always good to know where you stand health and hormone wise prior to making this type of decision.

Blood work
diet
training...

 

[Chocolate_Thunder]

a few weeks of reading everyones posts and the stickies and you should have a good idea of what can supplement your hard work and great diet...

This will work wonders. Fell free to PM people as well with questions AFTER reading the stickies.

 

[perryscoon]

I could have sworn there was a sticky post at one time that listed most of the "terms" that we use and explained them. Maybe someone has a link for u.

 

[EPROM]

Appreciate the feedback.

It's difficult learning all the trendy board lingo not to mention having to do the research after finding out the "real" names.

EPROM

P.S. "Stickie" = A post that is made readily available usually at the top of a discussion forum. ........Well, at least I know that one!

 

[Chocolate_Thunder]

Appreciate the feedback.

It's difficult learning all the trendy board lingo not to mention having to do the research after finding out the "real" names.

EPROM

P.S. "Stickie" = A post that is made readily available usually at the top of a discussion forum. ........Well, at least I know that one!

Research is one thing you can't do enough of when you are considering coming over to the dark side.

 

[Stryker1992]

So I'm 46, I look in the mirror and I see a weak, dumpy guy and all my gains from my iron-pumping youth are now gone. I've never done any gear before and know very little about it. ...So I say to myself, "I'll just hop right on over to elitefitness and see what I need to do to fix this!". Problem is that you guys use so many trendy catch-words that a poor ol' newbie doesn't even have a clue as to where to start.

I know "gear" = "steroids" ..after that you have various code-names for every form of gear available depending on the message poster.

I made this next paragraph up as an example of what a poor old newbie sees:

"New cycle, guys!! I've been major league stubin' on 3cc of Nubix with a mid-swat of G3. I've boosted my DX levels on a on-off 3-day cycle and doing a single slam of primoblomo on the off days. I've seen a major spike in overall k-plax levels and and serum tridoitall has remained in check throoughout the first two weeks, although Triblexin levels trended downward after that. I will supplement my post-cycle with a moderate DD4 soto and allow for my primera 3X for a proper g-plex calm down. This might keep my trib levels in check, too?"


...Make no sense at all, eh?



Can anyone point me to a very SIMPLE "gear plan" on this forum that a newbie can easily do? I'm not looking for complex rocket science, Mr. Universe-type gains, track marks, or building a clandestine laboratory in my kitchen. I was really hoping for a very simple oral-based plan that won't shrink my balls, eliminate woodies and make me bald, but will help me look fairly fit at my ripe 46 year age. ....Is this possible?

Sincerely,
EPROM

My first question is are you still working out?

 

[halfcenturian]

You're too fucking old to lift weights!

Get back on the couch where you belong, "Pops", and drink another beer!



























Just kiddin', bro! I'm 51.

Forget steroids for the next two years. Get back into a solid, REGULAR workout routine, 4-5 day split. Get your eatting habits in order. THEN you can consider gear. Honest! You are not too old, but you need to get back to the basics. Steroids only add about 5-10% to the bottom line. The rest comes from busting your ass in the gym and eatting a good clean diet. PM (personal message) me if you want to chat. we'll get you back in shape!

 

[EPROM]

Stryker,

Yes, I have started back on the weights (3 weeks). My muscles don't feel right and nothing much happens after a workout. I'm doing the work ...but it feels "different". I'm no "Ahhnold" by any stretch, but I got is damned good shape in my 30's. At age 45 it's like I have someone else's muscles. I show people pictures of me in my 30's and they can't believe I'm the same person.

I also have zero libido and zero energy. ...Something is wrong. Anyone in the same position and feels what I'm feeling would understand.

My father had some kind of doctor-delivered steroids in his youth because he didn't have enough sperm count to have children. Several injections later he has a big chest, grows chest hair ....and out pops "me" 9 months later!

Could low testosterone levels be passed on genetically from father to son?


EPROM


PS: "Couch and Beer" is sounding like a better option!


























Just kiddin', bro! I'm 51.

Forget steroids for the next two years. Get back into a solid, REGULAR workout routine, 4-5 day split. Get your eatting habits in order. THEN you can consider gear. Honest! You are not too old, but you need to get back to the basics. Steroids only add about 5-10% to the bottom line. The rest comes from busting your ass in the gym and eatting a good clean diet. PM (personal message) me if you want to chat. we'll get you back in shape![/QUOTE]