Child Support......need advice A.S.A.P.!!!

[GettingLean]

Hey everyone! I really need some advice on this subject. To make a long story short, after i was married to my current husband, my 11 year old daughter decided to live with her father full-time. She doesnt get along with my new hubby even though he treated her like gold. She's been gone for over a year now and during that year, i started having to pay child support every month including arrearages in the amount of $1800. After this court order was put into effect, my husband had major back surgery and was out of work for 7 months. Needless to say, the bills just kept piling up and we had to move out of our place to live with family. My Husband obtained a decent job and has been doing well ever since (whew!). The problem is, is that we recently got a letter from the child support offices stating that they want ALL the arrears paid in FULL by March 5! I dont know about you, but, i dont have 2000 dollars in my pocket for this. I'm very scared and paranoid about what is going to happen to me next wednesday I am also under a Physician;s care because i'm close to a nervous breakdown because of all of this. Can any of you give me some advice on what to do and what might happen to me in court next Wednesday? I cant go to jail.....i just CANT PLease........i really need all of your help!

Thank you for listening everyone.........

GettingLean

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I wish they forced my father to pay in such a way.. the bastard owes over 30 thousand...

 

[GettingLean]

$30,000?!???!? Wholly Molly!!

 

[Bigsatan13]

Hey everyone! I really need some advice on this subject. To make a long story short, after i was married to my current husband, my 11 year old daughter decided to live with her father full-time. She doesnt get along with my new hubby even though he treated her like gold. She's been gone for over a year now and during that year, i started having to pay child support every month including arrearages in the amount of $1800. After this court order was put into effect, my husband had major back surgery and was out of work for 7 months. Needless to say, the bills just kept piling up and we had to move out of our place to live with family. My Husband obtained a decent job and has been doing well ever since (whew!). The problem is, is that we recently got a letter from the child support offices stating that they want ALL the arrears paid in FULL by March 5! I dont know about you, but, i dont have 2000 dollars in my pocket for this. I'm very scared and paranoid about what is going to happen to me next wednesday I am also under a Physician;s care because i'm close to a nervous breakdown because of all of this. Can any of you give me some advice on what to do and what might happen to me in court next Wednesday? I cant go to jail.....i just CANT PLease........i really need all of your help!

Thank you for listening everyone.........

GettingLean

This is what's going to happen. If you don't have the money they can either remand you to jail and set your bail at the amount owed or you can state your case and see if the judge is willing to work out payments. What county are you in. If it's Monmouth start planning on some county time.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

$30,000?!???!? Wholly Molly!!

yeah.. supposed to be paying for the last... 8-9 years... he kept moving and changing jobs to avoid them pulling the money automatically from his checks. that money sure would have been nice while I was growing up.. maybe would have helped to where my mom didn't have to work 7 days a week, 9 hours a day all my childhood (and still now). I don't know how she does it...

 

[GettingLean]

This is rediculous!!!!! I'm trying so damn hard to pay this child support along with a slew of other bills and i just cant make it. I have to pay $350/month. BUT..... they want the arrears (apprx. $2400) on March 5th (next Wednesday). Theres NO WAY in the world me or my husband can raise that kinda cash even in a few months, let alone a few days for heaven's sake. I do however have a letter from my doctor stating that i'm on heavy medication due to anxiety/depression and i've even lost a lot of work the past few months due to this condition. Do you think my Physcian's letter ststing that i'm not in the right frame of mind as it is and should not be working at all. And even with that, i'm working as much as possible because I DO, however, make partial monthly payments(between $200-$300/month). I just cant seem to win......i'm just so torn up inside with fear about going to jail over this. I'm trying my best and am doing all i can do. Please my friends, i need more advice on this because i feel like i'm losing my mind!!!!!!

GettingLean

 

[lincoln]

The one who can help you out the most is the child's father. The judge can make a deal but the childs father is the one you can work out a deal with prior to court.

I pay support and my sons mother is impossible to deal with.

Most judges are reasonable. Finding someone who has dealt with the family court in your area is the key to getting good information.

 

[Norman Bates]

Why are you asking us and not a lawyer?

 

[kronk]

Hey everyone! I really need some advice on this subject. To make a long story short, after i was married to my current husband, my 11 year old daughter decided to live with her father full-time. She doesnt get along with my new hubby even though he treated her like gold. She's been gone for over a year now and during that year, i started having to pay child support every month including arrearages in the amount of $1800. After this court order was put into effect, my husband had major back surgery and was out of work for 7 months. Needless to say, the bills just kept piling up and we had to move out of our place to live with family. My Husband obtained a decent job and has been doing well ever since (whew!). The problem is, is that we recently got a letter from the child support offices stating that they want ALL the arrears paid in FULL by March 5! I dont know about you, but, i dont have 2000 dollars in my pocket for this. I'm very scared and paranoid about what is going to happen to me next wednesday I am also under a Physician;s care because i'm close to a nervous breakdown because of all of this. Can any of you give me some advice on what to do and what might happen to me in court next Wednesday? I cant go to jail.....i just CANT PLease........i really need all of your help!

Thank you for listening everyone.........

GettingLean

You need to get an attorney and get this in court ASAP. They can do this, but more often than not they will work with you to a point. Normally child support is done by a State standard calculator. It goes by your income and his.

All that being said, I say borrow the money or put it on a credit card. Pay what you owe and be done with it. Regardless, get an attorney fast.

 

[Bikini Mod]

You have no idea how badly I feel for you BUT how badly does your ex feel when he can't make the car payment or pay the electric bill?

I realize that your husband was out of work and I also know the anxiety something like this causes because I am on the OTHER END.

I had stomach surgery last year. Long story short 2 days in the hospital and perhaps a few days lost from work turned into EIGHT days in the hospital and TWO WEEKS out of work. And NO, I don't get sick pay. My soon2B ex only brought my girls to the hospital to see me ONCE for about 30 minutes. And he had the nerve to bitch, "When are you going home? I had to pay a sitter 50$ to watch the kids the other day!" I told him that I was trying to get home and back to work ASAP because I wasn't even sure that I would be able to make the car payment that month. His reply? "I HAVE MY OWN BILLS TO PAY."

Darlin', I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but going to some county lock up for a few sounds like a walk in the park compared to not knowing how you are going to feed your children.

 

[GettingLean]

I completely understand what your are trying to say. The point is that I DO make payments every month, its just that i cant pay the whole amount. I make a 100% effort to pay the support, its just that i've lost alot of work due to a medical condition and also to the fact that my (current) Husband is only working part-time because of a recent back surgery. Before the order of child support was put in, they already put $2000 of arrears tacked onto it. I cannot afford a lawyer, there's no possible way. If i could afford a lawyer, i would just pay the arrears off and be done with it. Its not like i'm avoiding paying the support, its just i'm having a REAL hard time of things right now. Please all, i need more advice

GettingLean

 

[Bikini Mod]

Darlin' I understand. Somehow I don't think you will be sent to jail if you are making an honest effort to pay, which from by the sound of what you are saying: YOU ARE.

I have been through the legal wringer with lawyers, custody battle, having gotten NO CHILDSUPPORT because the soon2B ex lied about his income.... it is all good.

JUST BE HONEST when you go to court.

To say that you are stressing and losing time from work because of this situation IMHO is making you look bad. I KNOW how stressfull all of this is - TRUST ME. I won't even begin to tell you what my bills are as I don't even know how I will begin to pay them. And I DO have an emotional attachment to money - or should I say - THE LACK THEREOF LOL!!! And you know what I have learned? If the bill doesn't get paid today, then it will surely get paid tomorrow... or the next or the next. We all go through times when money is tight. Stressing about it doesn't make it any better.

I feel very badly for you, BUT it has been my experience (yes, I know there is no justice) BUT if you go to court (in divorce and custody, childsupport instances) and are BRUTALLY HONEST and your actions support what you say then you will be fine - you won't NEED a lawyer.

You have no idea all the bullshit I have been through these past two years and the STUPIDEST PART? It will cost a small fortune and none of it had to happen - all money that my girls will never see that my ex's fucking cunt with no morals of an attorney will hand over to her "child care provider" so she can fleece more dumb angry men like my ex.... whatever, in the end it is all good.

My advice to you?

STOP STRESSING - go to court - BE HONEST and you will be fine.

By the way - where does your exhusband stand on this? I know the state takes things like childsupport VERY seriously (as my husband will soon find out as it IS retroactive) but if you are legitimately TRYING to pay then I don't see how you could be jailed. I mean, how can you work to pay childsupport if you are incarcerated?

Let us know how it works out - and for heaven's sake - STOP STRESSING!!! You will not be able to be all that you should be for your daughter if you are too consumed with worry to live.

 

[DigitalKyle]

So some women do have to pay child support after all. Yay.

 

[Citruscide]

Three words

I AINT PAYIN

C-ditty

 

[PatsFan34]

Three words

I AINT PAYIN

C-ditty

If she don't pay she's in comtempt, so no visitation with child and maybe some county time....that's a bad idea!!!


GettingLean, there must be somewhere you can turn to come up with the 2 G's!!! Start hitting everyone up for a couple hundred and see how far you get, I'm sure people will understand, if not then fuck em!!!

 

[GettingLean]

If she don't pay she's in comtempt, so no visitation with child and maybe some county time....that's a bad idea!!!


GettingLean, there must be somewhere you can turn to come up with the 2 G's!!! Start hitting everyone up for a couple hundred and see how far you get, I'm sure people will understand, if not then fuck em!!!

First off, i dont even see my kid(s). My older son refuses to see me ever since my current husband and i met (going on 4 years ago). My daughter decided to live with her father last Christmas (3 weeks before). The arrearrs were immediately tacked onto the support order ($1900 worth) even before i was ordered to pay the monthly amount. And no, i cant "hit anyone up" for the 2 grand. And the fact is, i DO PAY every month! Its just some months i can only pay a certain amount and not the full amount. My ex-asshole is so vindictive and such a bastard, that he wants his arrears paid in full NOW. I dont have the cash, if i had the money for a lawyer, i would just pay the damn arrears and not a damn lawyer! I'm freakin out here (sorry bikinimom) and i'm scared to death on whats gonna happen on Wednesday. i was ordered to pay the arrears by March 5th and thats the day of the hearing. I thought that if your making an effort to pay (i AM paying, its not like i dont pay at all) and you have a letter from a physician stating that i should NOT be even working, maybe all might turn out ok. I'm still terrified and cant even sleep even with all the medication i'm on. Thank you all for the replies, i REALLY do appreciate them! PLease keep the advice coming, it helps, it really does! Bless all of you!!

GettingLean

By the way, thank you and BLESS YOU Bikinimom!!!

 

[PHATchik]

Be up front and completely honest with the judge. Don't try to fib or lie about anything, because when it comes out later, it'll bite you on the ass. If the EX won't help with the situation, then you are relying solely on the judge. Explain the situation completely. Don't try to make it a sob story, simply tell the truth. Hopefully, the judge will try to work some kind of payment plan out with you. BTW, props to you for making the effort to pay child support. My father didn't and owed around $12,000 by the time they finally caught him and made him pay.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I am truly sorry to hear of your situation. Relationships can become very complicated when new people are introduced into the family and "sleeping dogs" are awoken.

Just make a truly honest effort to pay. Eat store brand peanut butter and rice and beans for a year if you have to. God knows that me and my girls know the store brands all too well.

Be honest in court and you will be fine. Money matters are not mortal matters. I highly doubt that you will be incarcerated as that is counterproductive. If you are in jail you will pay NOTHING because you will not be able to work at all.

I have health problems that cause me to be very ill sometimes and I am about to lose my health insurance. I STILL have to go to work. If I don't work, then we starve - PERIOD. So you really need to fix your head about this. Anxiety/fear - these are feelings that will NOT HELP - THEY ONLY HURT. I know it may be easy for me to say this because I am not in your shoes, but believe me, my shoes are pretty fucking heavy most days too! Just try to suck it up and go....

Forgive me for saying this but it would seem to me that what is REALLY distressing in this case is the rift in the relationship between you and your children. No amount of money could EVER rectify that. I think maybe your severe depression and anxiety is not necessarily caused by the whole backchildsupport thing, but perhaps what is going on between your children and you.