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Black Robbers- funny shit in here<-----

theoak01

New member
BLACK ROBBERS - A True Story



By far the best email I’ve read so far. For anyone who didn't see David
Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story.)

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters
at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her
husband in the hotel dining room.

But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right
back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden
bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already
aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall, very tall, an intimidating
figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob
me.

Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot; they look like perfectly nice
gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.
She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and
ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh; they had to know
what she was thinking!!!

Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now.
Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty
effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed
with the other foot and was on the elevator.

Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator
doors as they closed. A second passed, and the another second, and then
another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move.

Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be
robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.

Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what
they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her
arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on
her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed.

She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what
floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a
little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a
belly laugh.

The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down
to help her up.

Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit
the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the
elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor,
ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a
hard time not laughing.

The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was
humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed
her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for
behaving as though they were going to rob you?

She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn
quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor
they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little
unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the
corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her
room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the
elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and
went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses.
Attached to each rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said:"
Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

It was signed: Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan. :)
 
Funny...I've got one too...its about this private in the army who was captured in Iraq and called a national hero...only she wasn't captured...now they say she was raped...hmmm, now how did it go?
 
I'm a mortician and we have quite a few funerals with a 21 gun salute...sometimes the firing catches the congregation offguard as many aren't prepared for the shots...one funeral we had an almost entirely white crowd...21 gun salute and blam this black women hit the dirt...kind of sad too
 
You would think MJ and Eddie M would have a few bodyguards/friends/women/fans with them at all times, ESPECIALLY at a casino. Never alone really.
 
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