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Being laid off frickin' rules

HappyScrappy

HappyScrappy

New member
man, I hated my job with a passion that one usually reserves for midgets and the ballet. I would dread walking past my boss's office becuase he would spring to life, like some sort of motion activated barking moron. then telling me to do some jackass thing that didn't make sense, and later would get yelled at him for doing it because some higher up yelled at him. fucking dipshit.

well the day finally came yesterday when one of the dickheads called a coworker and me into a conference room and gave us a manilla folder of lay off goodies.

in it was some... well, rather a lot really - but it was paperwork. basically saying I wouldn't steal shit and was chill with that. then they gave me a box to pack my shit up in, and I was out of there.

so I got my vacation money, at the end of the month I get my severance money (2 weeks pay), and I have an interview on Tuesday.

So I got to sleep in today, have sex (with a girl!), and then just chill here and read and program and stuff without some dipshit telling me that my program wouldn't work because he didn't get a for loop.

as I was leaving work I was deleting everything off of my computer and in the process recalled that my dipshit boss wouldn't ever let me check my code into source control, so the only copies of all of the work I had done were sitting on my machine. I had an evil grin for a fleeting moment and then knew that if I deleted it all, it would just screw over the 3 remaining developers whom would then have to learn and write all that I had done, on top of the other shit they are already having to do.
so I was good and left it shared out.

I go away to my mom's in NC until Monday night as of tomorrow and then come back and have an interview, and I'm trying to start my own company as well...

so the laid back atmosphere, the sex, the being able to read all I want, and program anything - combined with unlimted naptime... this is the fucking life.
first I'm gonna watch The Fast and the Furious. I'm prepared for a whole lotta suck.
 
wow, should I feel bad for you, or should I be jealous?

and what kind of crappy severance package is that? That's about as small as supersizeme's package.
 
Glad you are finally using your real doll. Paid enough for it.
 
Starting your own company? Hmmmmm....I think you should co-partner Supersizeme in this venture. Perhaps 'tween the two of you ,you could have half a brain for such a venture.

Ok, I'm kidding about the 1/2 brain nonsense, but I'm NOT kidding about starting up this company with him! Would be a great combo!
 
I have nothing wrong against working with ssme, just that he isn't in the area. also, the main selling point of this company is that I could do everything to keep costs down.
if anyone has 200-500K that they are willing to loan me for this, speak up :)
 
alf does phone ads now with retired sports people. the creator of the show does the voice for him. he probably gets laid a lot.
 
HappyScrappy said:
if anyone has 200-500K that they are willing to loan me for this, speak up :)
Click to expand...

If you can break a million dollar bill, I can hook you up
 
Raina said:
HS- it costs 200-500k to start a lemonade stand??
Click to expand...

lol - well, yeah. a good one.

the company idea uses neural nets to show predictive trends in financial data - and there are many revenue paths off of that via various software routes.

but for now - I'm gonna go watch the suck that is the fast and the furious.
 
Happy, Happy, Happy, have SSME move in with ya, rent the lil bitch out during the day and use his insight at night!

I hear ya on the start up costs..Not a cheap venture for SURE. Working outta your house/ apartment until things take off could be an idea.....

Have some rich family that can see the potential in this idea? Perhaps clients that your old company lost that you could gain back?
 
Sweet dude.. do like everyone here in California and milk unemployment for all it's worth.. they have extended it a billion times now.. the people laid off in silicon valley have been on it for more then a year now it seems.

I don't have much start up capital.. could maybe swing 20K.. but I'm all for starting a business...

"My bidness my bidness.. stay tha fuck out of my bidness... cuz it mine all mine!"
 
Yeah, I'll be resigning in September and it's just like being laid off. I'll get my 240 vacation hours + four weeks.

They basically got tired of me sitting around, asked me to sell them some IP I had before I came here and wanted to move me to a cubicle.

The cubicle did the deal in :)

I hate cubes.
 
HappyScrappy said:


lol - well, yeah. a good one.

the company idea uses neural nets to show predictive trends in financial data - and there are many revenue paths off of that via various software routes.

but for now - I'm gonna go watch the suck that is the fast and the furious.
Click to expand...
Would your company also use collaborative filtering (in addition to neural nets)?
 
I can't tell you how many times people have left in the middle of a Project and you ask them for Documentation and they hand over lots of stuff.

A few weeks later you come to find all the stuff they left you was B.S.

Man, I am so proud of you for watching out for the remaining poor bastards.
Makes no sense to Screw them over right?
 
:redhot: I'm jealous, intensely jealous.

Good luck to you HS - you have a great attitude and as other people have said you don't have to panic for at least another year because unemployment has been extended to just about forever :)
 
Very similar to the people that bump a car in a parking lot.
They get out, write a note and leave it on the windshield and drive off.
All the witnesses think they left contact information for the owner of the car.
Actually, they write some BS that means nothing on the note.
 
plornive - not really collaborative filtering. the data is free reign, whatever you want to feed it, then it runs genetic algorithms over it to weed out input nodes that aren't needed - well, I guess that is a bit like collaborative filtering, but without any human intervention.
although really it could have any of that since you can turn on/off all the various things aside from the basic net functionality.

it is really good at detecting if certain things will go up, down, or stay constant, but it isn't as good at getting exact numbers as you go further into the future - which is a known issue in neural nets anyway for non linear stuff.

NB - as for my severance (severence?) that is just what I got. the board doesn't want to give us anything, so I guess I should be thankful for what I get.

and VL - it is expensive to live here in Boston. if I didn't have a car or any "retard debt" as I call it, then I'd be okay, but I have both, so the money I get from unemployment won't last long.
but with the combo of maybe that company, and then a few other leads, I'm hoping to be out less than a month or two.
 
lol... i didn't get any severance (lucky i had 2 weeks of stored vacation)

its okay though cause i took my customers with me.
 
Lookie here...in the three plus months that I've been unemployed, I've learned one thing. Whoring yourself out to the general public just doesn't pay the bills. You think that since you've seen Deuce Bigalow, you've got it all figured out and soon you'll have ladies calling left and right wanting to pay you to come tongue them down. No, sir. The economy is just too shitty right now for women to pay men to hollow them out. Even a compassionate stud like myself. I am just thankful that I don't have a wife right now. I'd have to start buying her that generic disenfectant instead of the Formula 409 type shit I'd have spoiled her with for the past few years. Imagine if our vacuum cleaner broke and I didn't have the funds to get it fixed. I get these horrible visuals of her walking around in circles in the kitchen for hours with this lost look on her face like her puppy ran away or some malfunctioning Jetson's robot maid. How could I look at myself in the mirror every morning know that the number one worthless whore in my life was unable to keep our sinks clean because the sponges were falling apart? How could I handle that look on Christmas morning when she didn't get that monogrammed apron she always wanted? It's a damn good thing I'm not married.
 
a camera caught happyscrappy last night in cambridge:
jobless.gif
 
addendum: i'd say sorry to hear, but you wanted out of that job anyway.

best of luck on your interview, and tell your mum sarah says hi. ;)
 
yeah, good luck home skillet. i wish i had more positive to say but ...bleh.

oh and you missed a spot back by that one tree next to the curb.
 
oh, and i see a few problems with the resume you sent me to look over:

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.

Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

It's best for employers that I not work with people.

Let's meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.

I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

I am loyal to my employer at all costs.

Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

My goal is to be meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have never quit a job.

Marital status: Often. Children: various.

Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

Finished eighth in my class of ten.

References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
 
I just woke up here. my friend was calling me and I was so fconfused when I woke up that I tried to answer a picture frame - no joke.
it was very strange, I was like, I know this is wrong, yet I'm doing it anyway. then I put in down and noticed it was my cell phone that was ringing.
 
HappyScrappy said:
... my dipshit boss wouldn't ever let me check my code into source control, so the only copies of all of the work I had done were sitting on my machine. ...
Click to expand...
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You wouldn't want any of that clean code. Me thinks they're laying off the wrong guys.
 
Code said:
Yeah, I'll be resigning in September and it's just like being laid off. I'll get my 240 vacation hours + four weeks.

They basically got tired of me sitting around, asked me to sell them some IP I had before I came here and wanted to move me to a cubicle.

The cubicle did the deal in :)

I hate cbues.
Click to expand...

Hmm, it sounds like you work where I work...
 
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