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68GT350
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I just want to make an observation based on a recent arguement of mine, between my girlfriend and me and how B.I.T.C.H.S has affected it. Yes, that's right...this man-empowering group over the INTERNET inspired me, in a last ditch effort (and my lost temper) and may have possibly rescued a relationship that could have fizzled just as fast as it started.
My girlfriend and I have basically had the same arguement for the past two weeks. We definitely didn't communicate well enough. Something would bother one us about the other and we'd sit on it, letting the anger build up and escalate. She was also extremely sensative picking fights where no fights should have existed. So much so, that my family even commented. We spent 3 seperate occasions discussing these issues and trying to address them but to no avail. The problem?
I was a pussy. I was compromising and taking WAY too much blame. Sure, I was partially wrong, but I was taking a lot of the responsibility. I would make an arguement, siting specific examples and always taking partial blame for everything we argued about when frankly, there were certain things that I actually did nothing wrong and she was completely to blame. Conversely, we were sharing blame for things that was only my fault.
Today, we were finally going to spend some quality time since we had the mother of all arguements last night. I invited her to come and take a nap with me since we both woke up early, yet didn't get much sleep the previous night because of the aforementioned arguement. Well, she informed me that she was tired and wanted to sleep alone. This bothered me but once again, I kept my mouth shut and let her do her thing. This was at 1 and she calls me back at 8 pm letting me know that she had slept, ate dinner and asked if we should still hang out. I said "ok" thinking we needed some quality time to make up from that arguement. Then, she tells me that it really isn't such a good idea since her mom didn't want her to.
Over some dancing around the subject, I tried to tell her that it bothered me. It came across as selfish and only enraged her. She was frustrated and didn't see why I was upset.
This is where the tables finally turned:
This whole time, I've been a pussy. I felt I let her walk all over me. No--that's wrong. Not so much walk all over me, but I felt I was giving in too much. I was taking unnecessary blame. So, I lost my temper and grew the balls to say exactly what I felt irregardless of whether I'd hurt her feelings or what I said would end our relationship. I thought to myself, "fuck it, I don't want to be with a girl that pisses me off so bad, anyways."
I unleashed and didn't hold back. I yelled at her. I screamed. I ranted and raved. I basically had a bashing session because honestly, I felt I was right. In the end, I left her in tears. Now, I dont' feel good about this, but I also don't feel bad. Lord knows she dealt out her share of stress on me.
It might not have been the most moral thing, but it seemed the only thing to finally penetrate her. She finally "got it." I ended, by asking if she disagreed and lo-and behold, she did agree!!!
I grew a pair of balls, and I think it saved us.
My girlfriend and I have basically had the same arguement for the past two weeks. We definitely didn't communicate well enough. Something would bother one us about the other and we'd sit on it, letting the anger build up and escalate. She was also extremely sensative picking fights where no fights should have existed. So much so, that my family even commented. We spent 3 seperate occasions discussing these issues and trying to address them but to no avail. The problem?
I was a pussy. I was compromising and taking WAY too much blame. Sure, I was partially wrong, but I was taking a lot of the responsibility. I would make an arguement, siting specific examples and always taking partial blame for everything we argued about when frankly, there were certain things that I actually did nothing wrong and she was completely to blame. Conversely, we were sharing blame for things that was only my fault.
Today, we were finally going to spend some quality time since we had the mother of all arguements last night. I invited her to come and take a nap with me since we both woke up early, yet didn't get much sleep the previous night because of the aforementioned arguement. Well, she informed me that she was tired and wanted to sleep alone. This bothered me but once again, I kept my mouth shut and let her do her thing. This was at 1 and she calls me back at 8 pm letting me know that she had slept, ate dinner and asked if we should still hang out. I said "ok" thinking we needed some quality time to make up from that arguement. Then, she tells me that it really isn't such a good idea since her mom didn't want her to.
Over some dancing around the subject, I tried to tell her that it bothered me. It came across as selfish and only enraged her. She was frustrated and didn't see why I was upset.
This is where the tables finally turned:
This whole time, I've been a pussy. I felt I let her walk all over me. No--that's wrong. Not so much walk all over me, but I felt I was giving in too much. I was taking unnecessary blame. So, I lost my temper and grew the balls to say exactly what I felt irregardless of whether I'd hurt her feelings or what I said would end our relationship. I thought to myself, "fuck it, I don't want to be with a girl that pisses me off so bad, anyways."
I unleashed and didn't hold back. I yelled at her. I screamed. I ranted and raved. I basically had a bashing session because honestly, I felt I was right. In the end, I left her in tears. Now, I dont' feel good about this, but I also don't feel bad. Lord knows she dealt out her share of stress on me.
It might not have been the most moral thing, but it seemed the only thing to finally penetrate her. She finally "got it." I ended, by asking if she disagreed and lo-and behold, she did agree!!!
I grew a pair of balls, and I think it saved us.
