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Caught In the Middle, Stressed to the Max
Caring for aging parents as well as their own kids is
overwhelming many baby boomers
By Pat Curry
HealthScoutNews Reporter
SUNDAY, Feb. 17 (HealthScoutNews) --
They could be called the "tug-of-war
generation," constantly torn between their
responsibilities. Or the "basketball generation,"
running flat-out toward one goal and stopping
suddenly as their duties yank them in the
opposite direction.
Instead they're called the "sandwich
generation," layered between the dual roles of raising their children
and caring for their aging parents or an infirm family member.
Maybe it's the best description because, for many people living
through it, stress is eating them alive.
The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) estimates
that one-fourth of adult Americans are involved in caring for a sick
or disabled family member. In a survey of its members, the
association reported that 34 percent of caregivers are between the
ages of 36 and 50, the years when people's careers are in full
swing and they're most likely to have teen-agers in the house.
Given the added responsibility of caring for an elderly parent or
other loved one, it's not surprising that growing numbers of
sandwich-generation members are reporting an increase in
depression, sleeplessness, headaches, backaches and stomach
problems.
"It's the stress of care-giving," says NFCA President Suzanne
Mintz. "There have been some studies that reported that stressed
caregivers heal more slowly than someone who isn't stressed,
showing the impact of stress on your own recuperative system."
"If you're dealing with someone who needs lifting or you need to
lift equipment, you're also at risk for back problems," she adds.
"Then there is fatigue and exhaustion. They all play into each
other."
In a recent study released by AARP, many members of the
sandwich generation said they were happy for the chance to help
care for their parents. But almost half said they felt guilty about not
doing more.
It's enough of an issue that the American Medical Association
issued a self-assessment questionnaire last summer to help doctors
identify and treat caregivers at risk for stress-related health
problems. The questions cover both physical and emotional
well-being, asking caregivers if they've ever felt "completely
overwhelmed," had their sleep disrupted or had a crying spell
within the last week or so, for example.
Stella Henry is a registered nurse from Culver City, Calif., who
works with families caring for aging parents. The author of the
book, "Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions," she's
constantly reminding family caregivers that their own health has to
come first.
"There's a bumper sticker that says, 'If mom isn't happy, nobody's
happy.' That's so true," she says. "Emotionally, who do you take
care of first? Yourself. If you're not well, you can't take care of
anyone else."
A sandwich-generation member herself, Henry cared for her father
before he died and now cares for her mother, who has dementia.
She works full time and has a teen-age son.
"You've got all these ways you're pulled," she says. "I sat down
one time and wrote a list of day-to-day things a caregiver has to
do. It equals another full-time job. You're on call 24 hours a day."
With that kind of time commitment, care-givers need time for
themselves, even if it's just a long shower or going for a walk,
health experts say.
"If you think about the work place, people take lunch breaks,"
Mintz says. "If they have regular jobs, they have paid vacations.
People who are caregivers don't get automatic lunch breaks or a
vacation. Sometimes people check into a hotel just to sleep.
Sometimes the break you need is rest, plain old sleep."
Getting a good night's sleep and eating regularly are two keys to
staying healthy, Henry says, along with getting help, especially from
other family members, when it's needed.
That's a tough one for many caregivers, Mintz says.
"People have a very, very hard time asking for help," she says.
"They need to recognize their strengths as well as their limitations.
Superman and Wonder Woman exist on television and comic
books. We're real, live human beings. Intensive care-giving is more
than a one-person job."
Mintz adds that family caregivers can't sacrifice their own health to
tend to the rest of the family.
"Caring for yourself isn't a selfish issue, it's not a luxury," she says.
"Your own good health is the best present you can give to your
loved ones."
Caring for aging parents as well as their own kids is
overwhelming many baby boomers
By Pat Curry
HealthScoutNews Reporter
SUNDAY, Feb. 17 (HealthScoutNews) --
They could be called the "tug-of-war
generation," constantly torn between their
responsibilities. Or the "basketball generation,"
running flat-out toward one goal and stopping
suddenly as their duties yank them in the
opposite direction.
Instead they're called the "sandwich
generation," layered between the dual roles of raising their children
and caring for their aging parents or an infirm family member.
Maybe it's the best description because, for many people living
through it, stress is eating them alive.
The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) estimates
that one-fourth of adult Americans are involved in caring for a sick
or disabled family member. In a survey of its members, the
association reported that 34 percent of caregivers are between the
ages of 36 and 50, the years when people's careers are in full
swing and they're most likely to have teen-agers in the house.
Given the added responsibility of caring for an elderly parent or
other loved one, it's not surprising that growing numbers of
sandwich-generation members are reporting an increase in
depression, sleeplessness, headaches, backaches and stomach
problems.
"It's the stress of care-giving," says NFCA President Suzanne
Mintz. "There have been some studies that reported that stressed
caregivers heal more slowly than someone who isn't stressed,
showing the impact of stress on your own recuperative system."
"If you're dealing with someone who needs lifting or you need to
lift equipment, you're also at risk for back problems," she adds.
"Then there is fatigue and exhaustion. They all play into each
other."
In a recent study released by AARP, many members of the
sandwich generation said they were happy for the chance to help
care for their parents. But almost half said they felt guilty about not
doing more.
It's enough of an issue that the American Medical Association
issued a self-assessment questionnaire last summer to help doctors
identify and treat caregivers at risk for stress-related health
problems. The questions cover both physical and emotional
well-being, asking caregivers if they've ever felt "completely
overwhelmed," had their sleep disrupted or had a crying spell
within the last week or so, for example.
Stella Henry is a registered nurse from Culver City, Calif., who
works with families caring for aging parents. The author of the
book, "Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions," she's
constantly reminding family caregivers that their own health has to
come first.
"There's a bumper sticker that says, 'If mom isn't happy, nobody's
happy.' That's so true," she says. "Emotionally, who do you take
care of first? Yourself. If you're not well, you can't take care of
anyone else."
A sandwich-generation member herself, Henry cared for her father
before he died and now cares for her mother, who has dementia.
She works full time and has a teen-age son.
"You've got all these ways you're pulled," she says. "I sat down
one time and wrote a list of day-to-day things a caregiver has to
do. It equals another full-time job. You're on call 24 hours a day."
With that kind of time commitment, care-givers need time for
themselves, even if it's just a long shower or going for a walk,
health experts say.
"If you think about the work place, people take lunch breaks,"
Mintz says. "If they have regular jobs, they have paid vacations.
People who are caregivers don't get automatic lunch breaks or a
vacation. Sometimes people check into a hotel just to sleep.
Sometimes the break you need is rest, plain old sleep."
Getting a good night's sleep and eating regularly are two keys to
staying healthy, Henry says, along with getting help, especially from
other family members, when it's needed.
That's a tough one for many caregivers, Mintz says.
"People have a very, very hard time asking for help," she says.
"They need to recognize their strengths as well as their limitations.
Superman and Wonder Woman exist on television and comic
books. We're real, live human beings. Intensive care-giving is more
than a one-person job."
Mintz adds that family caregivers can't sacrifice their own health to
tend to the rest of the family.
"Caring for yourself isn't a selfish issue, it's not a luxury," she says.
"Your own good health is the best present you can give to your
loved ones."
