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Memo to Staff from India from Microsoft Human Resource Director
This is a memo to the staff from India. This one is extremely funny, and what makes it funnier is the fact that it is a REAL memo from Microsoft. Every word here is quite intact and no word has been altered.
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice"
MEMO TO STAFF FROM INDIA
In view of the large number of staff from India working in the USA, UK and many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resource Directors to issue directives to their staff.
To all Hindi-speaking staff - It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
Words like "CHUTIYA, GANDU" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion.
You will not say "CHUTIYE AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO" when someone makes a mistake, or "MADAR CHOD, BHENCHOD" when a major mistake has been made.
All forms derived from the verb "CHOD" are inappropriate in our environment.
No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as "GADDHA", or "CHUTIYA".
Lack of determination will not be referred to as KAAMCHOR SALA.
A persons who lack initiative should not be referred to as "AALSI BHOSADIKAA", or "MADARCHOD".
Do not say "GAND FATI NA", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say "BHOSADE MEIN GAYA" when matters become complicated.
When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "CHAL PHUTT".
Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with "BOL TERI KAISE GAND MARUU"?
When things get tough, an acceptable statement such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than "GOTI MUH MEIN HAI".
Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI". Just keep it clean and dispose it off properly.
We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider
Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation Inc.
-------------------------------
Memo to Staff from India from Microsoft Human Resource Director
This is a memo to the staff from India. This one is extremely funny, and what makes it funnier is the fact that it is a REAL memo from Microsoft. Every word here is quite intact and no word has been altered.
"urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice"MEMO TO STAFF FROM INDIA
In view of the large number of staff from India working in the USA, UK and many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resource Directors to issue directives to their staff.
To all Hindi-speaking staff - It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
Words like "CHUTIYA, GANDU" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion.
You will not say "CHUTIYE AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO" when someone makes a mistake, or "MADAR CHOD, BHENCHOD" when a major mistake has been made.
All forms derived from the verb "CHOD" are inappropriate in our environment.
No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as "GADDHA", or "CHUTIYA".
Lack of determination will not be referred to as KAAMCHOR SALA.
A persons who lack initiative should not be referred to as "AALSI BHOSADIKAA", or "MADARCHOD".
Do not say "GAND FATI NA", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say "BHOSADE MEIN GAYA" when matters become complicated.
When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "CHAL PHUTT".
Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with "BOL TERI KAISE GAND MARUU"?
When things get tough, an acceptable statement such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than "GOTI MUH MEIN HAI".
Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI". Just keep it clean and dispose it off properly.
We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider
Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation Inc.
