Anyone ever had to end a really long relationship?

[SlavikHavik]

Ive been going out with this girl for three years now, ive tried to cut it off a few times in the last few months. but every time i do its like i get swamped with depression, and my whole day starts to be about thinking about this girl.
We fight too often, and i gotta get out of this.
But i can never bring myself to do it.
Any help?

 

[coverguy]

I broke up with a girl of 3 years once. It was definitely tough, and we should have broken up at least 6 months before that but that's how tough it was.

Just be honest. Sit her down, lay it all out and go from there. Who knows, maybe the ensuing conversation will give you the want to stick with it; but at the very least you will have forged a way out.

Best of luck!

 

[hamstershaver]

does she cook and clean?

 

[Dial_tone]

Last year I broke up with my gf of 8 years. It was HARD. It was way past time but she really wanted to make it work so it dragged out, not to mention we had 3 more months on a lease too expensive to break.

 

[MissJanet79]

Ive been going out with this girl for three years now, ive tried to cut it off a few times in the last few months. but every time i do its like i get swamped with depression, and my whole day starts to be about thinking about this girl.
We fight too often, and i gotta get out of this.
But i can never bring myself to do it.
Any help?

Perhaps you can't do it b/c you really do love her... if that's the case then lemme tell you something, there isn't a perfect relationship out there. It's about ups & downs etc. Yes we all have our arguments & the way only way to try to change that is to talk to her about it. Tell her in a CIVIL manner that you think you two should go over things that bother you & bother HER as well. Who knows, you might learn something from one another! Good luck!

 

[gotmilk]

Yeah....with a girl who had a drinking problem and screwed with my head badly. It gets easier when you find someone else. In the meantime, hang with your bors and do something to keep you busy.

 

[Becoming]

Yep a chick I LIVED with and dated for four years... I always knew she was a selfish chick... and one day I realized it would never change...

The next morning before I left for work I told her we were done and she needed to get her shit together and move out....

She said later (when she was picking up her stuff) that she realized by the tone I had that it wasn't going to be fixed...

Things were comfortable, and I could have stuck it out, but if I hadn't gotten rid of her I might not have met my wife a few months later...

If you think you shouldn't be in a relationship, you shouldn't.... prolonging it will only hold you back from where you are supposed to be...

 

[SoKlueles]

sorry guys
sometimes relationships just dont work out

 

[Fragadelic]

I had to end a 2 year relationship -- at first it was really difficult until she hit me with a dresser drawer - then it got kinda easier.

 

[Dial_tone]

I had to end a 2 year relationship -- at first it was really difficult until she hit me with a dresser drawer - then it got kinda easier.

Yea, that would kinda seal it for me too probably.

 

[gotmilk]

I had to end a 2 year relationship -- at first it was really difficult until she hit me with a dresser drawer - then it got kinda easier.

Try having your girlfriend spit in your face because she became so drunk she thought I was her ex....she passed out on the floor in the bar we were drinking at...and puked too.

Now that's an easy call

 

[SoreArms]

My last relationship was also of 3 years or so. I think it went about a year too long, Pussiness kept me in there. I tried breaking it off several times and we would wind up crying and after a while I would say "OK, forget what I said, lets try to work it out". Dont do that, I've learned that it only prolongs the hurt and the frustration.

 

[Lestat]

damn lotsa relationship shit on EF this summer... something is in the air.

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

It's hard but with time it gets better. Last summer I broke up with someone I was with for over three years. Stupidly, we tried to remain friends right but every time we saw one another (which was only once monthly) I found myself having hateful feelings towards him. It made it that much harder to get over him. Then when we finally stopped hanging out, talking and really moved on with our lives it made it a bit easier to heal and get over him. If we had to do it over again I would of ended it and been done with him completely. Removed him from my life in every way instead of still having that attachment to him by seeing him even if it was once monthly. Sometimes people become a habit. It's the habit you can't seem to break away from.

Sometimes you have to shit or get off the pot!

 

[Becoming]

damn lotsa relationship shit on EF this summer... something is in the air.

yeah - it is an election year - peeps finding out their significant others are worthless liberal scum...

LOL



j/k

 

[Forge]

I just divorced my wife of 5 years (we've been together 7), our 5 year anniversary would have been in two weeks.

Since she moved out I haven't had a good night's sleep, I'm too used to her being there in the bed. The house feels like a stranger's house without her stuff here. The pets are all depressed. I find myslef turning the TV on just to lose myself and not think about things, I don't feel like doing anything productive yet. At work I'm just going through the motions, at home I'm just keeping busy so I don't think too much. I've cried more in the past few weeks than I have in the past ten years. I had to put the photo albums in the basement so I'd stop going through them.



But the road to recovery and healing has to start somewhere. Every journey begins with that first step, but that first step sure is a doosy.

 

[jerseyart]

Sorry forge, I can only imagine what your going through

I had to end a relationship of ten years. It was a little easier because of the fact that I knew deep inside I did everything I could to make it work. But it is still the hardest thing I ever did. Knowing how much I was hurting her made it even worse. Even after we broke up I let her call wheneer she wished. Hell I let her live in the house and got an apartment in the city. But when I told her we couldnt even talk anymore, cause it was too hard, I never felt so low in my life. Telling her I couldnt be any part of her life, at least for now. I just made sure she was comfortable financially cause I couldnt stand the thought of her out in the street or desperate. Even now I would just about give her anythings she needed.

 

[biteme]

I hate ending relatioships with a woman. It hurts so bad, but sometimes you gotta do it.

 

[spongebob]

Ive been going out with this girl for three years now, ive tried to cut it off a few times in the last few months. but every time i do its like i get swamped with depression, and my whole day starts to be about thinking about this girl.
We fight too often, and i gotta get out of this.
But i can never bring myself to do it.
Any help?

maybe instead of breaking up you two should go to counsling for the fighting. who knows!

 

[biteme]

Sorry forge, I can only imagine what your going through

I had to end a relationship of ten years. It was a little easier because of the fact that I knew deep inside I did everything I could to make it work. But it is still the hardest thing I ever did. Knowing how much I was hurting her made it even worse. Even after we broke up I let her call wheneer she wished. Hell I let her live in the house and got an apartment in the city. But when I told her we couldnt even talk anymore, cause it was too hard, I never felt so low in my life. Telling her I couldnt be any part of her life, at least for now. I just made sure she was comfortable financially cause I couldnt stand the thought of her out in the street or desperate. Even now I would just about give her anythings she needed.

Then you are a good man. I don't know how good I am, but I hate to hurt people. It kills me inside knowing that I may have damaged another person.

 

[georgie24]

everytime i try she winds up pure drama. she cries like a 3 year old who just lost their parents...how can you walk away from someome wneh there crying there ass off begging you to stay?

 

[Werd]

I am STILL trying to end a 10+ year marriage. We have been physically separated for nearly 4 years (1+ yr divorced) and HE STILL WONT FUCKING LET ME GO... continues to use the kids.

I was very depressed when things had to end, even though it was cut and dry as the verbal abuse had finally escalated to physical abuse. I wouldn't eat, bathe, turn on the lights or leave the house unless I had to go to work. But somehow after time passed slowly I began to do things for myself and get my shit together. Because he refused to even try to move on with his own life it made things even worse for all of us, worst affected are the kids obviously.

I am just now learning how to begin and end relationships and I am near 40! Because I married to young and was relatively inexperienced when I did.

There is no use prolonging things. Have a civil conversation so that you can both have closure. Dont see each other until a fair amount of time has passed. This way you can see if you truly want to remain friends or if this is just an excuse to not let the other go.

Make a clean break after the talk and if you two still want to hang and keep in touch after say 2/3 months or so then do it. Although sometimes getting over strong feelings for another no matter how good/bad the relationship was can take up to a year.

Good luck.

 

[Forge]

Sorry forge, I can only imagine what your going through

I had to end a relationship of ten years. It was a little easier because of the fact that I knew deep inside I did everything I could to make it work. But it is still the hardest thing I ever did. Knowing how much I was hurting her made it even worse. Even after we broke up I let her call wheneer she wished. Hell I let her live in the house and got an apartment in the city. But when I told her we couldnt even talk anymore, cause it was too hard, I never felt so low in my life. Telling her I couldnt be any part of her life, at least for now. I just made sure she was comfortable financially cause I couldnt stand the thought of her out in the street or desperate. Even now I would just about give her anythings she needed.

Your a good bro, Jart. My wife stayed in the house for weeks until her apartment was ready, even after we knew it was over. I just didn't want her out on her ass with no place but her mothers to go because she isn't talking to her mom right now (her mom is angry that she divorced me). Like you, I tried everything I could to make it work, in the end she just didn't want to put forth the effort.

All of my friends told me I should have kicked her out as soon as she mentioned divorce, but I love her too much to mistreat her like that.

Ah, relationships suck.

 

[Werd]

Your a good bro, Jart. My wife stayed in the house for weeks until her apartment was ready, even after we knew it was over. I just didn't want her out on her ass with no place but her mothers to go because she isn't talking to her mom right now (her mom is angry that she divorced me). Like you, I tried everything I could to make it work, in the end she just didn't want to put forth the effort.

All of my friends told me I should have kicked her out as soon as she mentioned divorce, but I love her too much to mistreat her like that.

Ah, relationships suck.

So sorry Forge.... thanks for your PM the other day. I promise to reply soon.

I know that things are hard for you, but it is better this way. You just have to keep waking up as you have to see what the tide brings. I know this seems like an almost silly analogy but when I saw Tom Hanks' movie "Castaway" and his character used these words to explain how it was that he refused to die it affected me in quite a powerful way - still does.

I keep waking up because I refuse to not be present and see what the tide will bring me!

I guess I am just too stubborn a bugger.