Trance,
I do hope you come over to this board to read this... There are a lot of women here who have walked your walk and talked your talk. And they chose to do something with their bodies that would result in being able to live long, healthy full and fulfilled lives. Not sleep walk through each day lackluster, leading half lives, half-lived.
It is indeed a choice to remain a victim or to be a survivor...
the women who are here who lift, whether they have had an eating disorder or not, are survivors/fighters .
they are women who choose to put the power of themselves to the test and who revel in their strength as individuals and as women. they choose to take charge and be aware of not just one thing (whether or not they are thin enough or big in their own vision) but on the completeness and totality of themselves. They are living fully aware not only of what they are putting in their mouths but of how every atom in their bodies is being effected by those morsels..how every bite every mineral is working to make the temple that is the keeper of their transient souls work to its best. They take control and hold control over their lives and their destinies not by becoming victims and allowing their bodies to self-consume as a scream against injustice and an attempt to control some variable in their lives, a tepid grasp at true control and self-commitment....They choose to try to stay in this world and reach their full potential, their full power by giving the gift of themselves to themselves. They are aware on multiple levels of the interactions of life on their bodies because everything in your life impacts the vehicle carrying you through it. The women on this board live an obsession with living fully and completely. they don't all use drugs as you imply infact that is in my estimation the exception rather than the rule they use discipline, self-respect, commitment and damn hard work to achieve excellence in their bodies, minds and lives. they are alive and will continue to be alive and functioning long after so many other beautiful women of incredible gifts, talents and promise have starved themselves into early graves. You seem bright, articulate, passionate... I do hope you consider my perspective fully and don't become a dead statistic or a walking vegetable because your body can't sustain your mind.
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