All Aboard!

[SoreArms]

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your low-income asses in the train, cause we are going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "all passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for traveling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one."

She then hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOURS delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

 

[Y_lifter]

Lol..

 

[jnevin]

lol

 

[bigmann245]

i like that one

 

[CASS]

thats funny.... i like that

 

[hamstershaver]

el o el

 

[ziggyziggy]

Quality!

Zig

 

[digger]

It was 1937. the depths of the Depression, and while the little boy at the train station had a determined look on his face, he was obviously too young to be travelling alone. The station agent sat down and asked him what was going on.

"Well, sir, it's the mortgage. My mom and dad were fighting about it again last night all through supper. Then we all went to bed, but 'long about two in the morning, I heard Mom crying, or something. And finally Dad yelled 'I'm pulling out!' and Mom yelled 'I'm comin', too!' And I figured I better get out of there, 'cause whatever a mortgage is I sure don't want to be stuck with it."

 

[Deterass]

7.0

 

[blut wump]

A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power.

Farther on down the line, the second engine broke down, and the train slowed to a dead stop. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly."

 

[Lestat]

Good jokes.

 

[Devastation]

laugh out loud