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adventures riding the bus.

I used to work in downtown knoxville, not exactly a hotspot for anything, but like most big cities, if you are fucking crazy & homeless, you ride the bus during your waking hours to pass time and scare people.

There was one dude on the bus who scared the christ out of me, he was the type of person you look at and just the expression of your eyes tells you "bonkers". usually had a smile and was partially toothless. dude was mid 40's, white, john-basedow type bleach job on the hair, always wore shorts, same button up shirt, and walked with a cane. dude was a crazy looking son of a bitch, just didn't quite look homeless, but maybe he was on dust all the time or something. anyways, he would talk to the bus operators and alienate them all the time. I'm on the bus on day, listening to my MP3 player and pretending I dont even know he's there, when he leans to about a 20" angle on his bench, tears a fart that was loud, i'm talking 80-90dB, the sound was akin to tearing a 5 foot strip of canvas in half. it smelled. awful. the bus driver lady made him lower all the windows around him.

There is always a glimmer of hope though on those shitty buses. One older black fellow rode occasionally, you could tell he was scroungy, talked in that rough mumbly kind of voice similar to Red Fox. He ruled. Instead of freaking out people he just complimented everyone. One day i was just minding my business and was about to get off the bus and he pointed to me and then tapped his friend and said "Those are some cool sideburns." Being that my sideburns are not particularly cool, he earned cool points that day.
 
Well once I was riding down from New York to Miami Florida with my good friend on a Grey Hound. Well you see, my friend wasn't really in such great health and the best thing for him would be to go to the warmer climate of Florida. I scrounged up some money and bought us some tickets.

All the way he was shivering and sweating and complaining. I had to get him some new clothes because he had totally soaked his in piss and sweat. He was really sick you see. Well, we finally arived in Miami and we're only a few miles away from our stop.

I'm jabbing on about how great it's going to be down here and he's just sitting there, listening. I finally look over and he ain't moving! I shake him a couple times but he won't do anything. I went up to the Bus driver and told him that I thought something was wrong with my friend.

He stops the bus and sure enough he says just what I was afraid of. He tells me to close his eyes and just wait till we get to the bus stop. I do as he suggested and just sat there. As the bus started to move again everybody was just staring at us in the back. This hurts me because I know they're talking about us, eventhough I can't hear them. I hold my friend's lifeless body as we make our way on.

From there it just fades.
 
Apöllo said:
Well once I was riding down from New York to Miami Florida with my good friend on a Grey Hound. Well you see, my friend wasn't really in such great health and the best thing for him would be to go to the warmer climate of Florida. I scrounged up some money and bought us some tickets.

All the way he was shivering and sweating and complaining. I had to get him some new clothes because he had totally soaked his in piss and sweat. He was really sick you see. Well, we finally arived in Miami and we're only a few miles away from our stop.

I'm jabbing on about how great it's going to be down here and he's just sitting there, listening. I finally look over and he ain't moving! I shake him a couple times but he won't do anything. I went up to the Bus driver and told him that I thought something was wrong with my friend.

He stops the bus and sure enough he says just what I was afraid of. He tells me to close his eyes and just wait till we get to the bus stop. I do as he suggested and just sat there. As the bus started to move again everybody was just staring at us in the back. This hurts me because I know they're talking about us, eventhough I can't hear them. I hold my friend's lifeless body as we make our way on.

From there it just fades.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry, did no one get this?
 
I was on a bus in Vegas last August with a guy who had Terets (sp?) sitting behind me. I happened to be there during the only day of rain in god knows how long and this guy kept shouting "look at all that motherfuckin' rain! Goddamn motherfucker that's alot of rain!"
Now, if you've ever taken the bus from the North Strip to the Southern end (New York, Excal) then you know how long the ride is. Should've taken a cab because this guy repeated that same line over and over and over.
 
I KNEW IT! Once you asked if anyone got it I thougt about saying the same thing, but I didn't want any of you guys to be like "god what the hell are you talking about they guy lost a friend."
 
there is a guy who rides here a lot,he is schizophrenic and he has a notepad and he thinks he is a cop and runs around looking for bombs and shit,its funny as hell

we also have a war vet with a hook hand and he yells at god all the time,people think he is yelling at them and the bus drivers arent to polite to him,but if people listened he is yelling at god for what happened to him
 
coldblue1955 said:
do you know any great stories to tell about you riding the bus and finding the strangest,craziest people on there?
Click to expand...

I see you're from Maryland. I saw on the news tonight that a bus driver in MD got shot at the Montgomery Mall.
 
Apöllo said:
Well once I was riding down from New York to Miami Florida with my good friend on a Grey Hound. Well you see, my friend wasn't really in such great health and the best thing for him would be to go to the warmer climate of Florida. I scrounged up some money and bought us some tickets.

All the way he was shivering and sweating and complaining. I had to get him some new clothes because he had totally soaked his in piss and sweat. He was really sick you see. Well, we finally arived in Miami and we're only a few miles away from our stop.

I'm jabbing on about how great it's going to be down here and he's just sitting there, listening. I finally look over and he ain't moving! I shake him a couple times but he won't do anything. I went up to the Bus driver and told him that I thought something was wrong with my friend.

He stops the bus and sure enough he says just what I was afraid of. He tells me to close his eyes and just wait till we get to the bus stop. I do as he suggested and just sat there. As the bus started to move again everybody was just staring at us in the back. This hurts me because I know they're talking about us, eventhough I can't hear them. I hold my friend's lifeless body as we make our way on.

From there it just fades.
Click to expand...
damn. what did your friend die of? I'm sorry to hear about the news bro.
 
When I was living in Toronto I took the streetcar to work, cheaper than driving and paying parking..

There was this one crazy guy that would get on in the evenings, for the most part he kept to himself, mumbled a little but I guess this one day he was feeling good and so he decided to serenade the bus LOUDLY and made up the words as he went :

"IT NEVER RAIIIINS..... IN AFRICA...AND.. (pause) IT NEVER RAIIIINNNNS... IN AFRICA" same line about 14 times... I was sitting RIGHT behind him this day, and telling myself don't laugh.. 2 more stops.. don't laugh....

And then suddenly "IT NEVER RAIIINNS.... IN GUAM". WTF??! Then he whips around in his seat, gives me the hugest toothless grin like he was so proud of his song!

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. And then HE started laughing LOUDER and LOUDER..this crazy-man laugh.. dammit, I was DYING. I felt so bad, thankfully my stop came up shortly thereafter.
 
Seashell said:
When I was living in Toronto I took the streetcar to work, cheaper than driving and paying parking..

There was this one crazy guy that would get on in the evenings, for the most part he kept to himself, mumbled a little but I guess this one day he was feeling good and so he decided to serenade the bus LOUDLY and made up the words as he went :

"IT NEVER RAIIIINS..... IN AFRICA...AND.. (pause) IT NEVER RAIIIINNNNS... IN AFRICA" same line about 14 times... I was sitting RIGHT behind him this day, and telling myself don't laugh.. 2 more stops.. don't laugh....

And then suddenly "IT NEVER RAIIINNS.... IN GUAM". WTF??! Then he whips around in his seat, gives me the hugest toothless grin like he was so proud of his song!

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. And then HE started laughing LOUDER and LOUDER..this crazy-man laugh.. dammit, I was DYING. I felt so bad, thankfully my stop came up shortly thereafter.
Click to expand...

i see you've met my uncle Julio
 
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