a serious thread from me for once

[Buddy_Christ]

interesting topic here.

anyone know of anyone (or themself) that was adopted and attempted to find their biological parents?

i'd like to hear some stories. age when adopted, age when finding biological parents, reactions on both sides of the coin, problems dealt with in finding the parents (or for a parent that was trying to find a child, it does go that way sometimes as well), all that stuff.


yes, this is a serious thread. yes i am capable of a serious thread every so often.

 

[Smurfy]

my sister in law is adopted but I dont think she has ever made an attempt to find her parents.

sorry I guess that doesnt really help you LOL

 

[Moderate_THIS]

I have adopted an alter ego and do not wish to find my biological self

 

[Buddy_Christ]

I have adopted an alter ego and do not wish to find my biological self

dude, no BS on this thread. i'm actually being serious for once (and i'm not being a BBF and pretending i'm serious either).

this kinda hits close to home for me.

 

[jenscats5]

I am adopted.......Was born in 1969 and was in foster care for 3 mos or so then adopted.....was brought home in October....

HOWEVER, I didn't find out till I was a sophomore in high school.....my half-sister told me....I remember it being weird that when I asked questions about who I looked like, my parents had weird answers -- I didn't look remotely like either of them....

Anyway, I went to the adoption agency and got the info from the adoption which was maybe 3 lines.....but my bio mom had left word that she wanted to be contacted if I was interested so, the agency contacted her & she wrote a letter to them & they forwarded it to me.....turned out that she was 16 & her boyfriend got her pregnant but when he found out, he refused to accept responsibility & denied it.....so I don't know who my father is -- but if I did find out I'd punch him -- what a dick

Anyway, my bio mom gave birth & gave me up & she's had a pretty F'd up life since -- married 4x I think.....don't know where she is now or how to get in touch with her....she has another daughter who looks somewhat like me, who is now busy reproducing kids & being on welfare.....

 

[EnderJE]

A friend of mine wanted to find her bio parents a long while back (about ten years ago). I helped her go through all the adoption shit to finally find them and drove her to their house.

I was thinking that it would be some heartwarming scene among parent and child.

BOY, WAS I WRONG!

The parents were furious that the child came and found them. They apparently didn't want anything to do with my friend. She took it for about ten minutes (longer then I would of) and gave those people a piece of her mind.

That was a rather uncomfortable car ride back to her place.

Later, I brought her adoptive parents over to help her through it.

I guess Hollywood endings don't always happen and people can be really shallow.

 

[jenscats5]

Yeah, even tho my adoptive parents were fucked up & kinda fucked me up, they were still my parents.......the woman who gave birth to me is not my mother & the guy who got her pregnant isn't my father......I have no desire to keep in touch with them and now that my adoptive parents are deceased I could care less about my bio parents...

 

[Buddy_Christ]

EnderJE - that sucks. i'd at least send a letter first. or a few letters. something to break the ice. that's just me though.

Jen, the situation you described is one of my biggest fears. rejection i can handle. finding out something like that would probably hurt more than anything.

 

[jenscats5]

EnderJE - that sucks. i'd at least send a letter first. or a few letters. something to break the ice. that's just me though.

Jen, the situation you described is one of my biggest fears. rejection i can handle. finding out something like that would probably hurt more than anything.

No, my bio mom was very nice.....never met my bio dad, since he denied me in utero, Fuck him.....I'd actually love to show up on his doorstep just to fuck with him.....you don't deny paternity if it's yours....ANYWAY....she was very nice & friendly -- we have a lot in common, she was a little weird, but very very nice and open....I just lost interest in contact...

It's just that I don't feel that she is my mom nor do I have any connection with her.....my adoptive parents were & are my parents....that's it....

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

I'd like to put deer slugs into my biological parents.
Raina and Austin316 know about this stuff...

 

[Buddy_Christ]

No, my bio mom was very nice.....never met my bio dad, since he denied me in utero, Fuck him.....I'd actually love to show up on his doorstep just to fuck with him.....you don't deny paternity if it's yours....ANYWAY....she was very nice & friendly -- we have a lot in common, she was a little weird, but very very nice and open....I just lost interest in contact...

It's just that I don't feel that she is my mom nor do I have any connection with her.....my adoptive parents were & are my parents....that's it....

i can understand that.

i do want to make that initial contact and see what happens from there, even if it's just to bring some closure. it could be the start of something new, i dunno.

i'm not getting my hopes up. every time i do, they get shattered. with my luck, i'll petition the courts and the records will never get unsealed.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

I'd like to put deer slugs into my biological parents.
Raina and Austin316 know about this stuff...

into one of mine, yes. anyone that has read any thread involving my grandmother can understand the reason why.

 

[jenscats5]

i can understand that.

i do want to make that initial contact and see what happens from there, even if it's just to bring some closure. it could be the start of something new, i dunno.

i'm not getting my hopes up. every time i do, they get shattered. with my luck, i'll petition the courts and the records will never get unsealed.

I thought your dad lived near=ish me?? Or is he your adoptive dad?? Or do you who either one of your bio parents are?

If you feel you need to do it, do it.....if nothing else than to find out your "roots" so to speak.....again, if you are adopted, then you were chosen to be a child in that family and hopefully, it was a good experience......If not, well then, I don't know.....

Think about what you are looking for.....a connection, a relationship, etc..

I just wanted to find out WHY I was adopted and once I found out why, I was done.....

 

[Buddy_Christ]

my dad adopted me right after my parents got married. i was 2 at the time. the evil bitch is my biological mother.

Dad told me that during the adoption process, the courts wouldn't go any further until she named my father so they could contact him. Dad said that he didn't even know he had a son. he signed over his rights and that was the end of it.

Bear in mind that he couldn't of been any older than 20 at the time and i was already 2. i probably would've shit myself if that happened to me at 20 years old.

exactly what i'm looking for i'm not quite sure. maybe he has no regrets, or maybe he does now. i think what i'm looking for out of the whole thing depends on how he reacts.

 

[B0ARDIN087]

interesting topic here.

anyone know of anyone (or themself) that was adopted and attempted to find their biological parents?

i'd like to hear some stories. age when adopted, age when finding biological parents, reactions on both sides of the coin, problems dealt with in finding the parents (or for a parent that was trying to find a child, it does go that way sometimes as well), all that stuff.


yes, this is a serious thread. yes i am capable of a serious thread every so often.

no i will not make out with you, im here to LEARN, not to make out with u, go on with the borophyl

 

[Buddy_Christ]

no i will not make out with you, im here to LEARN, not to make out with u, go on with the borophyl

ok, i guess you didn't read my reply to Chaos Mage, so lemme spell it out a bit more clearly....



NO POSTING OF BS ON THIS THREAD.

take it elsewhere.

 

[B0ARDIN087]

ok, i guess you didn't read my reply to Chaos Mage, so lemme spell it out a bit more clearly....



NO POSTING OF BS ON THIS THREAD.

take it elsewhere.

i can use the size tag too bitch!!!!!!

sorry btw

 

[EnderJE]

EnderJE - that sucks. i'd at least send a letter first. or a few letters. something to break the ice. that's just me though.

It was one of those things that she wanted to do and I'd be damned to get in her way. Becca was always a little hot headed and determine to do things her way. I was just the driver, the guy who got in the way of adults about to fight and the shoulder to cry on that day.

 

[jenscats5]

my dad adopted me right after my parents got married. i was 2 at the time. the evil bitch is my biological mother.

Dad told me that during the adoption process, the courts wouldn't go any further until she named my father so they could contact him. Dad said that he didn't even know he had a son. he signed over his rights and that was the end of it.

Bear in mind that he couldn't of been any older than 20 at the time and i was already 2. i probably would've shit myself if that happened to me at 20 years old.

exactly what i'm looking for i'm not quite sure. maybe he has no regrets, or maybe he does now. i think what i'm looking for out of the whole thing depends on how he reacts.

Well, then, if you know who he is, try & contact him, maybe by writing first.....then you can see the reaction..... If he did TPR at 20, just remember he was a kid & that doesn't mean he didn't want you....as he said, he didn't know he had a son....

Maybe starting out by writing, will give him some space -- just showing up on his doorstep will be more "in his face" and could cause him to be defensive...
By letter will give him the time & space he would need to make a decision...

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Well, then, if you know who he is, try & contact him, maybe by writing first.....then you can see the reaction..... If he did TPR at 20, just remember he was a kid & that doesn't mean he didn't want you....as he said, he didn't know he had a son....

Maybe starting out by writing, will give him some space -- just showing up on his doorstep will be more "in his face" and could cause him to be defensive...
By letter will give him the time & space he would need to make a decision...

i don't know who he is. my dad doesn't know either. the only person that knows (without me getting the court records unsealed) is the bitch. since i refuse to talk to her except to tell her to to fuck off, i have to go through the courts.

it'd be best to go through the courts anyway though.

it could be the start of something new or just an ending to something i never knew anyway. i'm 27 now, and i just found out a little over 2 years ago about all of this. i went on a hunt a few months after finding out and called the 2 courthouses in question. the first one, the lady was very helpful and she was willing to go and see if my records were even there, as to not waste my time with petitioning the judge. she was very apologetic when she called me back the next day, saying my records were not there. the second court house, the woman was helpful, then she called me back the next day and said "you must petition the judge, i am not free to give you any more information." she wouldn't even say if my records were there, but her answer indicated that yes, they are.

that was 2 years ago though. i kind of lost interest, or maybe i was just scared, i dunno. in any event, the gf has been up my ass for 2 months to find out. i think it's time that i finally do it.

 

[jenscats5]

Well, if you're going to do it, do it for yourself, not for someone else....

Hope it works out the way you want it to....

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Well, if you're going to do it, do it for yourself, not for someone else....

Hope it works out the way you want it to....

it is for myself, but i'm just a mega procrastinator. i have that shit down to a science.