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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
>>little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,
>>"Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
>>The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
>>me!"
>>
>>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>>intelligent thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto
>>your perch without any feet?"
>>
>>"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
>>asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.
>>You can't see it because of my feathers."
>>
>>"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
>>can't you?"
>>"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
>>with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
>>sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
>>You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>
>>The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
>>afford that."
>>
>>"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is,
>>nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get
>>me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
>>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>>
>>Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
>>humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
>>everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
>>delighted.
>>
>>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>>"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know
>>if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
>>postman."
>>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
>>at the door in a sheer black nightie."
>>
>>"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
>>
>>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
>>nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>>
>>"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
>>"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his
>>knees and began to kiss her all over...."
>>
>>Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>>
>>"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
>>little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,
>>"Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
>>The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
>>me!"
>>
>>"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>>intelligent thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto
>>your perch without any feet?"
>>
>>"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
>>asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.
>>You can't see it because of my feathers."
>>
>>"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
>>can't you?"
>>"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
>>with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
>>sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
>>You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>
>>The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
>>afford that."
>>
>>"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is,
>>nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get
>>me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"
>>The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>>
>>Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
>>humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
>>everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
>>delighted.
>>
>>One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>>"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know
>>if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
>>postman."
>>"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
>>at the door in a sheer black nightie."
>>
>>"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
>>
>>"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
>>nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>>
>>"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
>>"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his
>>knees and began to kiss her all over...."
>>
>>Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>>
>>"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
