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½ pig
- Thread starter Roadblock
- Start date
The absolute worst has to be scrapple!
A Kansas farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for
ham, bacon, etc... After several weeks, he notices that
none of the pigs is getting pregnant and calls a vet for
help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try
artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the
slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display
his ignorance, he only asks the vet how will he know when
the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will
stop standing around and will instead lie down and wallow in
the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and
gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that
artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the
pigs. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out
into the woods, has sex with them all and goes back to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at he pigs. Seeing
that they are all still standing around, he concludes that
the first try didn't take, and loads them into the truck
again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig
twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing
around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to
load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends
all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls
listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise
himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife
to look out and tell him if the pigs are lying in the mud .
... "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of
them is honking the horn."
A Kansas farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for
ham, bacon, etc... After several weeks, he notices that
none of the pigs is getting pregnant and calls a vet for
help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try
artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the
slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display
his ignorance, he only asks the vet how will he know when
the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will
stop standing around and will instead lie down and wallow in
the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and
gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that
artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the
pigs. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out
into the woods, has sex with them all and goes back to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at he pigs. Seeing
that they are all still standing around, he concludes that
the first try didn't take, and loads them into the truck
again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig
twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing
around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to
load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends
all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls
listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise
himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife
to look out and tell him if the pigs are lying in the mud .
... "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of
them is honking the horn."
Last edited:
THeMaCHinE
New member
You bought the back half, didn't you?
j/k
j/k
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