Recent content by Matthew_Perry

happy birthday.

buddha also gambled, used tons of drugs, and had promiscuis (sp) sex before he realized this. take that into perspective.

i disaprove of them, because i've got sand in my vagina.

criss angel is probably the gayest name ever.

i wear shoes in my house. its okay though because i have a cleaning lady. sometimes i abuse her.

i usually pay drifters to rake my leaves. then when they turn out i hit them in the head and take my money back. thats how matthew perry rollls

you need the elite players guide to getting laid then.

calling always works better than emails. give her a ring.

im a conservative hollywood-head, so im a minority. i'd help you with the reefer, but as i mentioned earlier, im allergic to anything fun. thats why i always have the stupid confused look on my face.

is there really? i usually only look the female catagories of porn, so i've never seen that one. and actually, its called a micropenis. its not my fault, its genetics.

i meant no harm by that statement, simply my style of dry humor. if you took offense, i apologize. i also appreciate your diffusement. if you want to break into hollywood, let me know.

im worried i wont be able to promote my services if i get blacked out. im really scraping for work now. ive stooped so low, that ive accepted a role on the surreal life season 3.

you said gentile. that type of homonym would be a great joke in my new pilot "How to look like a douchebag, with little to no effort"

"you're going to be famous one day, and be the star on a hit sitcom" i actually wasnt the star, so my parents were really disapointed, and actually stopped speaking to me.

lestat you are my new favorite member here, since we are friends now, im putting the task of diffusing this bomb like aparatus i have in my user panel. friends 4444 life