Recent content by MarthaStewart

today?

I will skin you and proudly strut around in the suit I make of you. With the extra skin from your fetid corpse, I will make myself a hat and shoes. I will wear them when it rains.

I don't know where this hostility came from, but it sounds like you would make a lousy hooker.

I've found "ass flossing" to work much better than regular wiping. It is especially good at the house of a friend or even a neighbor. You take a towel - ideally something long, but the lacey show towels work well too. Grab ahold of one corner in your right hand, then whip the towel between...

Go away. I'd like to drown you by forcefully grasping the back or your head by your greasy hair and then reapeatedly plunging your acne ridden face down into a public toilet. And I would refuse you a courtesy flush since it would be a wasted effort for a man about to drown in someone else's bile.

Sometimes my dumps go out so fast that it is like my colon hasn't quite understood what just happened. It makes my ass just gasp over and over like dry heaves - attempting to force out what has long since left the building through the rear exit.

I have terrible poops all the time. Running makes it even worse. I would love to share the gas I'm having right now with someone.

I would come clomp clomp clomping up behind you with a bottle in one hand and a telephone cord in the other. You would hear me coming and turn around and punch me in my stomach. I would bend over in agony and in my vulnerable state, you would smash a chair over top of me and I would collapse in...

I guess until I've had a bad case of shingles and the cancer, then my body is indeed far from perfect. Makes perfect sense. I'm certainly no Bio major, but it also sounds like excellent genetics to me.

mail takes forever here. if you think the mail in the States is bad - sometimes the mail here will take over a week just to get from one part of the post office to another part. nothing like nearly 0% unemployment to make people lazy.

why bother when real women put up much less of a fight?

I'd like to point out that Bullit has been funnier this evening than many of the past days all together. jolly good show.

Re: Re: Re: Re: give me one reason I should like you hmm, I have no memories from that year - but that would explain my love for hot dogs at night. anyway dad, I didn't know you had a net connection where you are, but I'm glad you are here. hope the computer is treating you well. say hi to...

sounds like it needs a good formatting.

oh wow - I just assumed man, but then when I had a second look it really is tough. from the amount of hair on the forearms, I will hope for that person's sake that it is a dude. a very loney dude.