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My GF works in a Guy based environment. Am i insecure?

wootoom

wootoom

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Fuck, it's kind of bugging me a little bit....being cheated on in the past makes it even harder...she is an amazing person and it's not her, its me...im a very insecure guy because of the past....it's not fair to her and it's been bugging the shit out of me!

I got her a great job in the same field as me, i know how guys are in my field around here are..there fucking creeps most of them. Help me!! I need some advice! How do i handle this shit? My mind is so fucked up now...
 
stfu
 
BTW Im sure its all good. Dont let past experiences fugg up a good thing you have going now.
 
If ur worried ..remind her why she's with u..why she shouldn't cheat..and why your different from the other dudes

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
 
I work in 98% male environments (tech support) just cuz ur surrounded by guys doesnt mean you're gonna cheat, trust that she loves you and if she does cheat it's her loss to lose such a great bro like you, I mean look at you! I'd twirl your mustache for hours.... just sayin'
 
thelocal said:
If ur worried ..remind her why she's with u..why she shouldn't cheat..and why your different from the other dudes

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
Click to expand...
Um, don't do this.

Your best bet is to keep your insecurities to yourself and keep your mouth shut. While there is nothing UN-sexier than an insecure man, the fastest way to lose anyone's respect is to tell them how lucky they are to be with you, personally I think it should be the other way around (this goes both ways, BTW).

The minute you bring up ANY concern you may have about cheating her mind is going to start wondering what she has done that you don't trust her -- past history aside, I'm taking it for granted she already knows about your divorce. That's your past, not her's, and not the past you two have shared.

Honestly, how on Earth does someone regain trust that's been lost when they haven't done anything wrong? You even make insinuations that you don't trust her, you're just going to stir up shit for no good reason.

In the end, the only person responsible for your emotions is you.
 
I think thelocal didnt mean literally tell her, just be nicer, more caring, affectionate, etc remind through actions not words....
 
Good info MM i was thinking the same thing...it's really hard not to let your past factor in with a new relationship though...
 
nangiggles said:
I think thelocal didnt mean literally tell her, just be nicer, more caring, affectionate, etc remind through actions not words....
Click to expand...

this is what i meant..or you can go the thug route..beat her ass make her love you lmao seems to always work on cops..jk
 
You're making two mistakes:

1) You are projecting your past experiences onto her.

2) You are assuming she thinks like a guy.

I do think the vast majority of guys are only as loyal as their opportunities (Chris Rock said it best). IMO women don't work like that. Women will cheat if A) They are cheaters by nature or B) They are unhappy/unsatisfied with their relationship.

Don't overestimate the impact on a woman from being surrounded by available men. Let's be honest: If a decent woman wants a dick, how hard is it for her to find one regardless of her surroundings? It isn't really an issue of availability.
 
mrplunkey said:
You're making two mistakes:

1) You are projecting your past experiences onto her.

2) You are assuming she thinks like a guy.

I do think the vast majority of guys are only as loyal as their opportunities (Chris Rock said it best). IMO women don't work like that. Women will cheat if A) They are cheaters by nature or B) They are unhappy/unsatisfied with their relationship.

Don't overestimate the impact on a woman from being surrounded by available men. Let's be honest: If a decent woman wants a dick, how hard is it for her to find one regardless of her surroundings? It isn't really an issue of availability.
Click to expand...

3) you're assuming the guys she works with don't like the cawk
 
mrplunkey said:
You're making two mistakes:

1) You are projecting your past experiences onto her.

2) You are assuming she thinks like a guy.

I do think the vast majority of guys are only as loyal as their opportunities (Chris Rock said it best). IMO women don't work like that. Women will cheat if A) They are cheaters by nature or B) They are unhappy/unsatisfied with their relationship.

Don't overestimate the impact on a woman from being surrounded by available men. Let's be honest: If a decent woman wants a dick, how hard is it for her to find one regardless of her surroundings? It isn't really an issue of availability.
Click to expand...
wow, very good post Plunkey...thank you so much
 
Communicating and staying on the same page is vital.
It is when things are rocky and she is at work that you'll stress.
Either way this is a good test for you guys.
If it's meant to be and you care/put the time into it it will work out for ya.
If it gets to where you see you love her then don't have her work at all or in the public.
My fiancé works for me from home.
 
Rock,

I had an ex cheat on me and honestly...for no real reason at all. She had a history, she got really drunk while I was 1000 miles away and cheated.

That shit bugged me for years. Still pisses me off 17 years later.

You have to eventually trust someone. It's doubtful that your girlfriend will cheat because she works with a bunch of horndogs.
 
gotmilk said:
Rock,

I had an ex cheat on me and honestly...for no real reason at all. She had a history, she got really drunk while I was 1000 miles away and cheated.

That shit bugged me for years. Still pisses me off 17 years later.

You have to eventually trust someone. It's doubtful that your girlfriend will cheat because she works with a bunch of horndogs.
Click to expand...

Thanks Chad! I know brother it sucks....it's so easy to say leave the past behind but it really isn't that easy. I trust her, it's me that's insecure. It's not fair for her.


Smurf, I'm not rich..she works because she was raised to take care of herself financially which I like...my ex never worked and just took everything for granted. What a mess lol
 
if anything working with a bunch of dudes makes you paranoid as to if or which are hitting on you and it gets annoying, also if she screws one they'll all know so I dont think she'll dip in the company ink...
 
Dude me and my wife were in the Army together and now we are contracted security together. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen regardless of how you feel or what you say. Best thing you can do is live your life and not worry about what the future holds for you. Just take life in stride bro. I know guys are creeps and that sucks balls too but you have to trust her judgement in the situation. If you cant trust her to make sound decisions then you arent ready to be in a relationship and need to live life for a bit to get that chip off your shoulder. Believe me, I understand. I was cheated on. Takes forever and a day to get over but if you just stop worrying about it your quality of life will go up.Also, we both know that guys are fucking dicks. If they know you are insecure and worry about them trying to sleep with your girl...........chances are they will probably do it just to fuck with you bro.
 
robbiek426 said:
Dude me and my wife were in the Army together and now we are contracted security together. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen regardless of how you feel or what you say. Best thing you can do is live your life and not worry about what the future holds for you. Just take life in stride bro. I know guys are creeps and that sucks balls too but you have to trust her judgement in the situation. If you cant trust her to make sound decisions then you arent ready to be in a relationship and need to live life for a bit to get that chip off your shoulder. Believe me, I understand. I was cheated on. Takes forever and a day to get over but if you just stop worrying about it your quality of life will go up.Also, we both know that guys are fucking dicks. If they know you are insecure and worry about them trying to sleep with your girl...........chances are they will probably do it just to fuck with you bro.
Click to expand...

Kind words bro, thank you
 
mrplunkey said:
You're making two mistakes:

1) You are projecting your past experiences onto her.

2) You are assuming she thinks like a guy.

I do think the vast majority of guys are only as loyal as their opportunities (Chris Rock said it best). IMO women don't work like that. Women will cheat if A) They are cheaters by nature or B) They are unhappy/unsatisfied with their relationship.

Don't overestimate the impact on a woman from being surrounded by available men. Let's be honest: If a decent woman wants a dick, how hard is it for her to find one regardless of her surroundings? It isn't really an issue of availability.
Click to expand...

So true.
 
she is the only person that can make this better..

sorry but it's true, tell her how you feel that you know it's wrong and you are sorry..

the bad news.. after 12 yrs married. 17 yrs with the same woman.. knowing her past and my past (never cheating one of us)...

I still get the weird feeling sometimes..
 
I will say this..u gotta have communication between one another..I am cut off from the world most of the time and I don't have compassion or anything good like that I'm hard hearted and I lost my ex because I just can't communicate just don't no how to let someone know how I truly feel..dad taught me to hide my emotions and not show any sign of weakness he was a hard man and well product of my environment

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
 
Wootooom said:
please just fuck off
Click to expand...

Seriously man. You've been nothing but happy about this girl since you started seeing her. She's obviously been great for you and I'm sure you for her. She doesn't deserve this if you start acting on your emotions. The Wulf poop thing was a joke... I hope.

I still can't trust anyone even though I'm over the whole stage of using wominz and just dropping them. You and I went through the same thing and the shit stings and scars you. All you can do is put your best foot forward and do what you can to be happy. If you can't do that you'll just fuck yourself up.

And Wulf will poop on you.
 
thelocal said:
I will say this..u gotta have communication between one another..I am cut off from the world most of the time and I don't have compassion or anything good like that I'm hard hearted and I lost my ex because I just can't communicate just don't no how to let someone know how I truly feel..dad taught me to hide my emotions and not show any sign of weakness he was a hard man and well product of my environment

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
Click to expand...

get yourself into therapy asap...please
 
I had my best birthday ever
my "NFL" brother called me
and my CPA sister I saved from drowning at age 6
 
I can rest for a while
knowing at least one of you is hyming yellow submarine
and smile
"we all live in the yellow submarine"
 
women know
and I can tell in 3 seconds if there is going to be an issue about a lady
 
lartinos said:
Communicating and staying on the same page is vital.
It is when things are rocky and she is at work that you'll stress.
Either way this is a good test for you guys.
If it's meant to be and you care/put the time into it it will work out for ya.
If it gets to where you see you love her then don't have her work at all or in the public.
My fiancé works for me from home.
Click to expand...

Too controlling.
If you love someone, set them free.
Wootoom, if she loves you, or is ready to love you, then your little bird willl fly happily home every night of her own accord.
You are in danger of messing everything up because of your past.
You should maybe take a break from each other if you are still damaged from the past. Don't hurt her because you feel insecure. If she is right for you she will understand and wait.
Don't suggest she is less than a worthy human being, or she will resent you and leave.
You cannot control anything but your own behaviour. I sugegst you get some counselling or learn how to forgive your ex on your own- you have to let the past go.
 
I thought Woot was geigh
 
Yo Wootoom, I dont think its unmanly to have insecurities bro! Everyone has em, if they say they don't their fucking lying. You got some stuff going for you bro, can't worry about what your girls doing, just got to enjoy the company you've got with her when you got it... but in all seriousness man, your prob good. Give her some good pipe and she won't worry about anyone else, haha. Also, tell her how you feel, explain that you really want to trust her and you care about her, but its a problem with you, not her, and ask her to help you with it (if you've been dating a while - if this is a new relationship, you may need to give it some time first). Don't be a bitch tho...

All the same, good luck man!
 
some good advice in this thread...

but the bad advice made me LOL

Lart told you to not let her work in public. Then Spy said to apologize.


LMAO!
 
zwhit said:
some good advice in this thread...

but the bad advice made me LOL

Lart told you to not let her work in public. Then Spy said to apologize.


LMAO!
Click to expand...
Yea Larts self confidence shown through like a light house on the ocean shore in that post. Speaking of light houses
 
If you don't like the light house you SUX
 
PickMe69 said:
Yo Wootoom, I dont think its unmanly to have insecurities bro! Everyone has em, if they say they don't their fucking lying. You got some stuff going for you bro, can't worry about what your girls doing, just got to enjoy the company you've got with her when you got it... but in all seriousness man, your prob good. Give her some good pipe and she won't worry about anyone else, haha. Also, tell her how you feel, explain that you really want to trust her and you care about her, but its a problem with you, not her, and ask her to help you with it (if you've been dating a while - if this is a new relationship, you may need to give it some time first). Don't be a bitch tho...

All the same, good luck man!
Click to expand...

LOl thanks brother
 
Does your girl work for the Jaguars bro?
 
mrplunkey said:
You're making two mistakes:

1) You are projecting your past experiences onto her.

2) You are assuming she thinks like a guy.

I do think the vast majority of guys are only as loyal as their opportunities (Chris Rock said it best). IMO women don't work like that. Women will cheat if A) They are cheaters by nature or B) They are unhappy/unsatisfied with their relationship.

Don't overestimate the impact on a woman from being surrounded by available men. Let's be honest: If a decent woman wants a dick, how hard is it for her to find one regardless of her surroundings? It isn't really an issue of availability.
Click to expand...
Much as it pains me to admit it, Plunky is right and picked up a point I missed.

Honestly, I've always said a man either has to be 1) Rich; 2) Handsome or 3) Smooth Talker to get laid. Chicks just need to be easy :whatever:

Doesn't say much about the male character but momma always told me the little head ain't got much in the way of a conscience or common sense, sorry.
 
I'm the tailback for the Seahorses
 
lartinos said:
Communicating and staying on the same page is vital.
It is when things are rocky and she is at work that you'll stress.
Either way this is a good test for you guys.
If it's meant to be and you care/put the time into it it will work out for ya.
If it gets to where you see you love her then don't have her work at all or in the public.
My fiancé works for me from home.
Click to expand...

I just noticed this....what the fuck?? lolol

That is the worst thing I have ever seen you post, lart. Don't let her work in public. LOL

The fastest way for a guy to lose me is to try and control my work life. People here used to joke about my most recent serious ex keeping me locked in the basement but even he never tried to get me to switch jobs so I wasn't around guys as much. Jesus, even reading that made me feel claustrophobic.
 
nefertiti said:
I just noticed this....what the fuck?? lolol

That is the worst thing I have ever seen you post, lart. Don't let her work in public. LOL

The fastest way for a guy to lose me is to try and control my work life. People here used to joke about my most recent serious ex keeping me locked in the basement but even he never tried to get me to switch jobs so I wasn't around guys as much. Jesus, even reading that made me feel claustrophobic.
Click to expand...

But how's she gonna have dinner on the table, his slippers at the door and a crisp newspaper opened to the sports page on his favorite chair when he gets home if she's out carousing with male co-workers every day???
 
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She's cheating on you!

Okay, perfunctory reply aside, if most of the guys you work with are douchebags and she is a smart gal, you have nothing to worry about. She will see that they are douchebags, too. If she cheats, who needs her. Never let on to a S.O. that you are very insecure about this stuff. It is unsexy to either sex.
 
nefertiti said:
I just noticed this....what the fuck?? lolol

That is the worst thing I have ever seen you post, lart. Don't let her work in public. LOL

The fastest way for a guy to lose me is to try and control my work life. People here used to joke about my most recent serious ex keeping me locked in the basement but even he never tried to get me to switch jobs so I wasn't around guys as much. Jesus, even reading that made me feel claustrophobic.
Click to expand...

Ya, that was guy talk. It is assuming that she doesn't want to work at all like most woman, and if anything they would prefer to work from home or for you if anything.
If she wants more, I respect that. Make money and pay some bills, I am all for that. Than you just have to deal with not seeing eachother as much and whatever other problems that might arise. I can see how you would take it that way though.
 
Woot, I was cheated on by my ex of 11 yrs. Then the person after him who I was with for 5 years, said he would never cheat. I trusted him with my life. He swore up and down, swore to our couples therapist he was not cheating and swore on his own daughters head and guess what, he was banging some 250 lbs Bikini Mom clone behind my back. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me on and off throughout the 5 yrs as well.
Once the trust is broken, it's really hard to get it back.
I went from a super secure person to super insecure. But since I am trusting by nature, I will trust the next guy because I refuse to let any great man in my life pay for the sins of the last cowards I was dumb enough to chose!
If you feel you've chosen a women better than the last one, I'm sure she will be faithful.
 
blueta2 said:
Woot, I was cheated on by my ex of 11 yrs. Then the person after him who I was with for 5 years, said he would never cheat. I trusted him with my life. He swore up and down, swore to our couples therapist he was not cheating and swore on his own daughters head and guess what, he was banging some 250 lbs Bikini Mom clone behind my back. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me on and off throughout the 5 yrs as well.
Once the trust is broken, it's really hard to get it back.
I went from a super secure person to super insecure. But since I am trusting by nature, I will trust the next guy because I refuse to let any great man in my life pay for the sins of the last cowards I was dumb enough to chose!
If you feel you've chosen a women better than the last one, I'm sure she will be faithful.
Click to expand...

I swear Im not cheating on you
 
blueta2 said:
Woot, I was cheated on by my ex of 11 yrs. Then the person after him who I was with for 5 years, said he would never cheat. I trusted him with my life. He swore up and down, swore to our couples therapist he was not cheating and swore on his own daughters head and guess what, he was banging some 250 lbs Bikini Mom clone behind my back. I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me on and off throughout the 5 yrs as well.
Once the trust is broken, it's really hard to get it back.
I went from a super secure person to super insecure. But since I am trusting by nature, I will trust the next guy because I refuse to let any great man in my life pay for the sins of the last cowards I was dumb enough to chose!
If you feel you've chosen a women better than the last one, I'm sure she will be faithful.
Click to expand...
why go to couples therapy with a boyfriend who you thought wasnt even cheating on you?
 
lartinos said:
Ya, that was guy talk. It is assuming that she doesn't want to work at all like most woman, and if anything they would prefer to work from home or for you if anything.
If she wants more, I respect that. Make money and pay some bills, I am all for that. Than you just have to deal with not seeing eachother as much and whatever other problems that might arise. I can see how you would take it that way though.
Click to expand...

Oh ok, much more reasonable sounding. Big difference between giving her the option to be stay at home and insisting on it lol. I'm not sure that's ever gonna be my MO, I get too antsy if I don't have enough intellectual stimulation.
 
lartinos said:
Ya, that was guy talk. It is assuming that she doesn't want to work at all like most woman, and if anything they would prefer to work from home or for you if anything.
If she wants more, I respect that. Make money and pay some bills, I am all for that. Than you just have to deal with not seeing eachother as much and whatever other problems that might arise. I can see how you would take it that way though.
Click to expand...

*Then
 
Wootooom said:
Fuck, it's kind of bugging me a little bit....being cheated on in the past makes it even harder...she is an amazing person and it's not her, its me...im a very insecure guy because of the past....it's not fair to her and it's been bugging the shit out of me!

I got her a great job in the same field as me, i know how guys are in my field around here are..there fucking creeps most of them. Help me!! I need some advice! How do i handle this shit? My mind is so fucked up now...
Click to expand...

Does she have better options than you? Do you have better options than her?

That's my Yoda two cents...
 
jjtt said:
Too controlling.
If you love someone, set them free.
Wootoom, if she loves you, or is ready to love you, then your little bird willl fly happily home every night of her own accord.
You are in danger of messing everything up because of your past.
You should maybe take a break from each other if you are still damaged from the past. Don't hurt her because you feel insecure. If she is right for you she will understand and wait.
Don't suggest she is less than a worthy human being, or she will resent you and leave.
You cannot control anything but your own behaviour. I sugegst you get some counselling or learn how to forgive your ex on your own- you have to let the past go.
Click to expand...

exactly
when I was dating that Russian gal in LA we Dennis Rodman's club
and guy asked me if he could dance with Marina
before I could answer she
"he don't give a fuck"
yeah I'm fetching a beer you want a beer too
Marina didn't drink
 
Hey woot..I've been offline this week so just read this thread but I've been there and feel what you're going through. What helped me was to consciously stop the thoughts when they started coming...ask myself...is there is a reason for these thoughts? Has the person done anything or is this my own issue? Then I try to choose to stop thinking that way and try to focus on some of the more positive things about the relationship. I know it sounds cheesy but it's this mini mental interview I'd do with myself when my mind would get carried away.

Tough to let go of the past..even when you think you're over it but if you can find a way, you'll be a better man and a better partner. :)
 
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