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Man Up. This Trend Must End
Vanity And The Modern Man
By Ethan Marak
Lifestyle Correspondent - Every other Tuesday
Man overboard! Did anyone else hear the splash? No, it wasn't a man slapping on Afta aftershave; it was the sound of the metrosexual going overboard. Modern men are in a bad state. They diet, follow celebrity news and, for goodness’ sake, shave their chests for the aesthetic appeal. Did George Washington shave his chest? Did Chesty Puller, the legendary U.S. Marine, wax his back? No! Nor should we. Next we’ll be sitting down to pee. It's time to stand up and completely miss the toilet.
Men have become increasingly vain over the past 40 years. Some of the reasons are obvious, and others are more subtle.
Men have primped themselves into androgyny
It's one thing to try and look your best. Generally, looking clean and pressed is a good idea. It's another thing to apply expensive moisturizers, powders and creams before bedtime. Remember Grandpa? Remember that crusty, old, soot-covered, WWII veteran who grew up during the Great Depression? He was lean and had a face that looked like Black Hills granite. He knew how to get his hands dirty, bust a kid over his knee, chew tobacco, and spit fire. In the 21st century, our ambiguous role is being buried further by consumerism and technology which create more and more distractions. Get off your asses! Go chop down a tree, whittle a bow and don't eat until you've killed your next meal.
Men are diet-crazed
Propaganda historically read by women is now reaching men. Since when do men need to know about carbs, multivitamins, ab crunchers, yoga, and Pilates -- and who are these creeps slicked in bacon grease on the Soloflex ads? As far as diet and exercise, there is a rule that worked just as well in caves as it does today: Eat three squares a day -- breakfast, lunch and dinner -- and quit shoveling Chips Ahoy! in your craw between meals. The fast results of carb diets are similar to doctors observing the positive medicinal effects of cocaine. Losing 20 pounds in a week is as reasonable as going from terminally ill to bouncing off the walls. Basic guy activities such as sports and manual labor (see: chopping trees), are enough to offset a normal diet.
Men exercise unused body parts
In association with the diet madness is the modern pursuit of David-esque bodies. Vanity -- it's the equivalent of buying a Ferrari and never driving it. Men expend countless hours attaining a hairless, mythical and effectively useless body. The guys who work for "better biceps in five minutes a day" have no purpose for bigger biceps other than self-admiration. It makes for an expensive, time-consuming jerk off. Garbage men, block layers, cops, and soldiers have a usage for biceps; accountants and programmers do not. In other words, the purposes and needs for a man's natural strength are disappearing, so men are inventing vain reasons for it. As a result, men are in a spiritual and mental crisis over who they are supposed to be. Why are men dissatisfied with their bodies? Because they have such little practical use for them nowadays.
Men are obsessed with decorating
A home should be clean, but the magazine rack doesn't need to match the curtains. Betty Crocker and Heloise trade recipes and argue about the best way to remove carpet stains, not guys. Reading IKEA catalogs, poring over patterns, matching the bedroom with the bathroom -- all of these are consumer infiltrations, brought on less by the opposite sex than by marketing gurus and commercial bombardment.
Men look up to vain role models
It's no longer Bronson, McQueen, Wayne, or Stallone. This summer's lineup looks like a minor league soccer team: Depp, Pitt, Farrell, Cruise. Tom Cruise? He's the size of an action figure. Like it or not, leading men like Jude Law have cultural influence, and in his case it's a feminizing, domesticating influence. Hollywood affairs were once oblivious sidebars to men. There was a time when sports heroes, like the unattractive Nolan Ryan and crazy-eyed Mike Singletary, trumped actors. In the 1980s, The National Enquirer was a garbage magazine for garbage readers, but US Weekly and the other checkout-line rags have figured out how to suck people in. It would be unimaginable for men in the 1980s to care about what JR Ewing did offscreen. Ask an ’80s guy: "Did you see what Jude Law was wearing?" and see how he reacts.
Men work delicate jobs
Men like to live up to a certain standard, a certain level of providing income. The image of a career, however, has become more important than the actual work. Today, men seek clean, domesticated, polite, sedentary jobs. Fathers used to be firemen, farmers and construction workers, which meant getting their hands dirty.
Moreover, to be a part of the working class today is quietly frowned upon, even when many plumbers collect $150 an hour. Being a blue-collar worker nowadays implies a lack of education, therefore, less earning power, but it's not necessarily true. Being fiscally attractive to women almost requires a desk job, resulting in a certain level of snobbery for working class people, which is why immigrants perform so much low-wage, "uncivilized" work. Men have become snobs.
you’re so vain…
There's a reasonable level of vanity. Most men are really overgrown boys, unable to adjust to their age. The fear of marriage results in a prolonged teenager status. FYI: Getting married does not equal domestication or feminization. In fact, it is the hairless, greased man-child who is being domesticated and feminized. The hairy guy working the night shift to support his two kids is not domesticated; that's what a man does.
Other cultures around the world haven't fallen into this rut yet -- at least not as deep as we have. There's a line from The Burbs, a movie where Tom Hanks plays one of these American domesticated doggies -- a character in whom we can almost see the transition from Burt Reynolds to Colin Farrell -- where Bruce Dern says to Hanks: "Are you completely p*ssy-whipped? Why don't you just take your balls out of your wife's purse? Make a stand for one time in your life!" In other words: Get a grip. Forget about all that body-image and diet propaganda. Eat normal food, do pushups and -- unless you actually are neutered -- act like a man.
So, how's that tree coming along? Are you ready to chop it?
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/austin_150/160_fashion_style.html?FLASH
Good article. I wonder what we'll be like in another 50 years if this pussification of man trend continues. Maybe not even human.
Sure, there are some instances where delicacy and such coinside with the times, but it's clear much of America has crossed the line into nancyboy-dom. I even went through that phase for a while as an adolescent. There's a distinct difference though between practicing good hygiene and getting....manicures....? Ironic in a way....that word almost sounds like it's a cure for being a man. lol
Ladies, what's the first thought that comes to mind when you think of an effeminate man?
Vanity And The Modern Man
By Ethan Marak
Lifestyle Correspondent - Every other Tuesday
Man overboard! Did anyone else hear the splash? No, it wasn't a man slapping on Afta aftershave; it was the sound of the metrosexual going overboard. Modern men are in a bad state. They diet, follow celebrity news and, for goodness’ sake, shave their chests for the aesthetic appeal. Did George Washington shave his chest? Did Chesty Puller, the legendary U.S. Marine, wax his back? No! Nor should we. Next we’ll be sitting down to pee. It's time to stand up and completely miss the toilet.
Men have become increasingly vain over the past 40 years. Some of the reasons are obvious, and others are more subtle.
Men have primped themselves into androgyny
It's one thing to try and look your best. Generally, looking clean and pressed is a good idea. It's another thing to apply expensive moisturizers, powders and creams before bedtime. Remember Grandpa? Remember that crusty, old, soot-covered, WWII veteran who grew up during the Great Depression? He was lean and had a face that looked like Black Hills granite. He knew how to get his hands dirty, bust a kid over his knee, chew tobacco, and spit fire. In the 21st century, our ambiguous role is being buried further by consumerism and technology which create more and more distractions. Get off your asses! Go chop down a tree, whittle a bow and don't eat until you've killed your next meal.
Men are diet-crazed
Propaganda historically read by women is now reaching men. Since when do men need to know about carbs, multivitamins, ab crunchers, yoga, and Pilates -- and who are these creeps slicked in bacon grease on the Soloflex ads? As far as diet and exercise, there is a rule that worked just as well in caves as it does today: Eat three squares a day -- breakfast, lunch and dinner -- and quit shoveling Chips Ahoy! in your craw between meals. The fast results of carb diets are similar to doctors observing the positive medicinal effects of cocaine. Losing 20 pounds in a week is as reasonable as going from terminally ill to bouncing off the walls. Basic guy activities such as sports and manual labor (see: chopping trees), are enough to offset a normal diet.
Men exercise unused body parts
In association with the diet madness is the modern pursuit of David-esque bodies. Vanity -- it's the equivalent of buying a Ferrari and never driving it. Men expend countless hours attaining a hairless, mythical and effectively useless body. The guys who work for "better biceps in five minutes a day" have no purpose for bigger biceps other than self-admiration. It makes for an expensive, time-consuming jerk off. Garbage men, block layers, cops, and soldiers have a usage for biceps; accountants and programmers do not. In other words, the purposes and needs for a man's natural strength are disappearing, so men are inventing vain reasons for it. As a result, men are in a spiritual and mental crisis over who they are supposed to be. Why are men dissatisfied with their bodies? Because they have such little practical use for them nowadays.
Men are obsessed with decorating
A home should be clean, but the magazine rack doesn't need to match the curtains. Betty Crocker and Heloise trade recipes and argue about the best way to remove carpet stains, not guys. Reading IKEA catalogs, poring over patterns, matching the bedroom with the bathroom -- all of these are consumer infiltrations, brought on less by the opposite sex than by marketing gurus and commercial bombardment.
Men look up to vain role models
It's no longer Bronson, McQueen, Wayne, or Stallone. This summer's lineup looks like a minor league soccer team: Depp, Pitt, Farrell, Cruise. Tom Cruise? He's the size of an action figure. Like it or not, leading men like Jude Law have cultural influence, and in his case it's a feminizing, domesticating influence. Hollywood affairs were once oblivious sidebars to men. There was a time when sports heroes, like the unattractive Nolan Ryan and crazy-eyed Mike Singletary, trumped actors. In the 1980s, The National Enquirer was a garbage magazine for garbage readers, but US Weekly and the other checkout-line rags have figured out how to suck people in. It would be unimaginable for men in the 1980s to care about what JR Ewing did offscreen. Ask an ’80s guy: "Did you see what Jude Law was wearing?" and see how he reacts.
Men work delicate jobs
Men like to live up to a certain standard, a certain level of providing income. The image of a career, however, has become more important than the actual work. Today, men seek clean, domesticated, polite, sedentary jobs. Fathers used to be firemen, farmers and construction workers, which meant getting their hands dirty.
Moreover, to be a part of the working class today is quietly frowned upon, even when many plumbers collect $150 an hour. Being a blue-collar worker nowadays implies a lack of education, therefore, less earning power, but it's not necessarily true. Being fiscally attractive to women almost requires a desk job, resulting in a certain level of snobbery for working class people, which is why immigrants perform so much low-wage, "uncivilized" work. Men have become snobs.
you’re so vain…
There's a reasonable level of vanity. Most men are really overgrown boys, unable to adjust to their age. The fear of marriage results in a prolonged teenager status. FYI: Getting married does not equal domestication or feminization. In fact, it is the hairless, greased man-child who is being domesticated and feminized. The hairy guy working the night shift to support his two kids is not domesticated; that's what a man does.
Other cultures around the world haven't fallen into this rut yet -- at least not as deep as we have. There's a line from The Burbs, a movie where Tom Hanks plays one of these American domesticated doggies -- a character in whom we can almost see the transition from Burt Reynolds to Colin Farrell -- where Bruce Dern says to Hanks: "Are you completely p*ssy-whipped? Why don't you just take your balls out of your wife's purse? Make a stand for one time in your life!" In other words: Get a grip. Forget about all that body-image and diet propaganda. Eat normal food, do pushups and -- unless you actually are neutered -- act like a man.
So, how's that tree coming along? Are you ready to chop it?
http://www.askmen.com/fashion/austin_150/160_fashion_style.html?FLASH
Good article. I wonder what we'll be like in another 50 years if this pussification of man trend continues. Maybe not even human.
Sure, there are some instances where delicacy and such coinside with the times, but it's clear much of America has crossed the line into nancyboy-dom. I even went through that phase for a while as an adolescent. There's a distinct difference though between practicing good hygiene and getting....manicures....? Ironic in a way....that word almost sounds like it's a cure for being a man. lol
Ladies, what's the first thought that comes to mind when you think of an effeminate man?
WTF! I didn't say anything b/c I new I would come off as an asshole and they would think I just don't understand. Well they're right, I don't. I never primped and focused on my looks as they do. I try to lead by example but I believe they're wussy friends are having more influence these days.
