Last night dinner =$1240.00 Tip = $3.00

MattTheSkywalker said:

I respectfully disagree.

As you know, people only receive a life lesson when the knowldege comes from a source they trust. Most people tend to rationalzie away behavior that could make them look bad - this is largely a defense mechanism that requires self study to overcome. (I've written about this shit, forgive me if I ramble)

Thus, when the server sees the $3 tip, she will not think "I fucked up" but will instead think "What a table full of cheap assholes!"

She will rationalize the problem as AAPs (and his group's), not hers. People do this all the time, to their detriment.

In order for her to receive a life lesson, she has to hear the criticism from a credible source against which there is no rationalization. Getting a stern talking-to or worse, dismissed, by her manager would have killed the rationalization mechanism. There would have been no one else to blame.

The manager would speak with a voice of credibility. if AAP had tipped her fully, he would have removed himself as a possible defense mechanism against her rationalizing. By talking to the manager, SOMETHING would have happened to the server. That's - as you know - how high end eateries are.

Then, you have a life lesson learned. Here, she just blames AAP and will do it again.

Your fee for that wisdom:

No charge.

Click to expand...

MattTheSkywalker said:

Thus, when the server sees the $3 tip, she will not think "I fucked up" but will instead think "What a table full of cheap assholes!"

She will rationalize the problem as AAPs (and his group's), not hers. People do this all the time, to their detriment.

Click to expand...

Growth&Courage said:

Matt, I believe what you're trying to described here is called correspondence bias or fundamental attribution error - we tend to perceive others as acting as they do because they are "that kind of person", rather than because of the many external factors that may influence their behavior.[eg: the lack of waitress commitment & skills into providing satisfied level of customer service]. Rarely do we blame ourselves on our own faults for others' actions.

Just before this thread is closed, my view is that I am cool with AAP giving $3 tip to her and it was considerate that he left his cell phone number behind should anyone want to enquire about the meaning of $3 tip.
No comment about those wine passing.

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MattTheSkywalker said:

I respectfully disagree.

As you know, people only receive a life lesson when the knowldege comes from a source they trust. Most people tend to rationalzie away behavior that could make them look bad - this is largely a defense mechanism that requires self study to overcome. (I've written about this shit, forgive me if I ramble)

Thus, when the server sees the $3 tip, she will not think "I fucked up" but will instead think "What a table full of cheap assholes!"

She will rationalize the problem as AAPs (and his group's), not hers. People do this all the time, to their detriment.

In order for her to receive a life lesson, she has to hear the criticism from a credible source against which there is no rationalization. Getting a stern talking-to or worse, dismissed, by her manager would have killed the rationalization mechanism. There would have been no one else to blame.

The manager would speak with a voice of credibility. if AAP had tipped her fully, he would have removed himself as a possible defense mechanism against her rationalizing. By talking to the manager, SOMETHING would have happened to the server. That's - as you know - how high end eateries are.

Then, you have a life lesson learned. Here, she just blames AAP and will do it again.

Your fee for that wisdom:

No charge.

Click to expand...

MattTheSkywalker said:

I respectfully disagree.

As you know, people only receive a life lesson when the knowldege comes from a source they trust. Most people tend to rationalzie away behavior that could make them look bad - this is largely a defense mechanism that requires self study to overcome. (I've written about this shit, forgive me if I ramble)

Thus, when the server sees the $3 tip, she will not think "I fucked up" but will instead think "What a table full of cheap assholes!"

She will rationalize the problem as AAPs (and his group's), not hers. People do this all the time, to their detriment.

In order for her to receive a life lesson, she has to hear the criticism from a credible source against which there is no rationalization. Getting a stern talking-to or worse, dismissed, by her manager would have killed the rationalization mechanism. There would have been no one else to blame.

The manager would speak with a voice of credibility. if AAP had tipped her fully, he would have removed himself as a possible defense mechanism against her rationalizing. By talking to the manager, SOMETHING would have happened to the server. That's - as you know - how high end eateries are.

Then, you have a life lesson learned. Here, she just blames AAP and will do it again.

Your fee for that wisdom:

No charge.

Click to expand...

velvett said:

HAHAHHA

By all means disagree but in your above statement you give the masses entirely too much credit as being able to know what a trusted source is and the common sense to actually listen.

Bad service - bad tip.
Great service - good or better than average tip.
Superior service - generous tip or stingy bastard hope you get average tip.

Hmm, we haven't debated in months - thanks for the whirl.

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4everhung said:

you're forgettin the possibility that the "table" was being an "ass"
armed with only the observation that the "table" sent a bottle to another table with the sole intention of humiliating another quest
well

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