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I damn near killed myself masturbating tonight

CEO's got a crate of Atomic Tabs.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
puddlemonkey said:
I'll probably regret telling you guys this but whatever. I'm checking out this site named pornhub someone mentioned on razorguns thread. It's like a youtube version of porn. Anyway, it's getting late and I figure now would be a good time to rub one out before bed. I usually don't do it in front of the computer but it's good to change things up every once in awhile.

After a brief search I find an intriguing video and I start to go to work on myself. Vid starts out with a little mish, onto some reverse cowgirl, then some doggy. As I'm getting close to completion I begin to slouch more and more in my chair trying to find that sweet spot before I release. That's when I hear, CRACK!!! With my right hand still engaged I go soaring off the chair! Having catlike reflexes I grab the left arm of the chair but my bodyweight rips it right off and I take it with me as I fall back onto a pile of dirty laundry (for once being lazy and not using my hamper paid off!)

I lay there on the floor trying to gather my thoughts and wrap my mind around what just happened. I look over and notice my chair is no longer in one piece, it's in three. I completely separated the back of my chair from the seat portion, and where the arm rest use to be is now just a metal shank. And of course by this time I am completely limp and blue balled. I tweaked my back pretty bad on the way down, took some hydrocodone and can feel it kicking in now. Just when I thought this day couldn't suck any more it finds a way of doing just that.
Click to expand...

Cool story bro
 
WoodyO said:
So, he never did cum?
Click to expand...

He was cum locked anyways. I dont think he has ever cum again. Poor poor Pudds

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
Somebody find the thread where Puds had a cum stain on his t-shirt and was trying to figure out where it cam from.
 
where is this fagot? how long is he gonna hide for.. tell him to make an alter and swallow his pride already..
 
hurricane said:
where is this fagot? how long is he gonna hide for.. tell him to make an alter and swallow his pride already..
Click to expand...

Nate bant bish ngr did he not?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
 
Strongbow said:
Nate bant bish ngr did he not?

Sent from my SCH-I535 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...

i dont know.Pudd monk was always a good ngr in my book,if he got fresh with the higher ups, i guess he caught the backlash and is still bitter about it ..cause every bant ngr makes an alter,no?. i kinda miss him and his karma whoring ways, lock picks in the bookie section and miss his hoarding threads as well.i agree with dave though, he will be back one way or another eventually.
 
hurricane said:
i dont know.Pudd monk was always a good ngr in my book,if he got fresh with the higher ups, i guess he caught the backlash and is still bitter about it ..cause every bant ngr makes an alter,no?. i kinda miss him and his karma whoring ways, lock picks in the bookie section and miss his hoarding threads as well.i agree with dave though, he will be back one way or another eventually.
Click to expand...

Break me off some of that big ol' K stash, Cane. TYIA.
 
hurricane said:
i dont know.Pudd monk was always a good ngr in my book,if he got fresh with the higher ups, i guess he caught the backlash and is still bitter about it ..cause every bant ngr makes an alter,no?. i kinda miss him and his karma whoring ways, lock picks in the bookie section and miss his hoarding threads as well.i agree with dave though, he will be back one way or another eventually.
Click to expand...

I miss that crckr too.
I miss those days when we ran the bookie section. A bunch of k laundering fucks lol
 
Boo hoo
 
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