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Nathan
New member
Okay, so here I am at a tender 23 years of age, fully equipped with an honors degree in astrophysics. Now, it's at roughly this point that I start to allow myself to realize a few key points about life in general. I can't for the life of me figure out what fucking profession would make me happy and the reason is a simple one: work is an illusion for meaning. That feeling of satisfaction you feel after a job well done is complete and total bullshit. It somehow suckers you into thinking that the product of your hard work, however ephemeral, is a piece of you in some deranged way and that you should take comfort in that. Well, I'm here to tell you that there is no comfort to be had. There is no fucking meaning in life or anything else as near as I can tell and if I had to guess everything will NOT be alright.
The whole concept of love is also gnawing at me these days. I've been holding onto the whole notion with wild abandon. I can't for the life of me shake the feeling that I'm completely and totally alone, always have been and always will be. And don't think you're any exception. It makes me nauseous thinking about it but there it is. You are born alone and you will die alone and all the people you meet along the way are nothing more than entertainment, no matter how much they want to believe otherwise.
So where can we go and what can we do with ourselves? How should we go about passing the time and why should we even bother? I can't figure it out. I can't help but think that everyone i see has no fucking clue what they're doing in life and it unnerves the hell out of me. Here are billions of people, scrambling for shit to do with themselves and for what? To pass the time? Why? What the fuck is the point in that? And I'd appreciate it if anyone thinking of chiming in with answers wreaking of religious undertones would please keep them to themselves. I'm afraid you're no exception to the rest of the population my friends.
I guess my problem is that I don't know what to do with myself and I can't convince myself that I even should be doing anything. This is what happens when I go sober. Never again. As soon as my body is willing, I'm high again. I've made a conscious decision to forget about all these things. I don't think I want anything to do with life. It just isn't for me. Now, I'm not saying we should all kill ourselves of course since there's also no point in thatas near as I can tell. I'm simply saying that I have absolutely no idea what it is that I'm saying. I love you guys though.
Also, if someone could just tell me what to do with my life that would be super.
The whole concept of love is also gnawing at me these days. I've been holding onto the whole notion with wild abandon. I can't for the life of me shake the feeling that I'm completely and totally alone, always have been and always will be. And don't think you're any exception. It makes me nauseous thinking about it but there it is. You are born alone and you will die alone and all the people you meet along the way are nothing more than entertainment, no matter how much they want to believe otherwise.
So where can we go and what can we do with ourselves? How should we go about passing the time and why should we even bother? I can't figure it out. I can't help but think that everyone i see has no fucking clue what they're doing in life and it unnerves the hell out of me. Here are billions of people, scrambling for shit to do with themselves and for what? To pass the time? Why? What the fuck is the point in that? And I'd appreciate it if anyone thinking of chiming in with answers wreaking of religious undertones would please keep them to themselves. I'm afraid you're no exception to the rest of the population my friends.
I guess my problem is that I don't know what to do with myself and I can't convince myself that I even should be doing anything. This is what happens when I go sober. Never again. As soon as my body is willing, I'm high again. I've made a conscious decision to forget about all these things. I don't think I want anything to do with life. It just isn't for me. Now, I'm not saying we should all kill ourselves of course since there's also no point in thatas near as I can tell. I'm simply saying that I have absolutely no idea what it is that I'm saying. I love you guys though.
Also, if someone could just tell me what to do with my life that would be super.
