A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Michigan Wolverine fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Wolverine fans also.

Not really knowing what a Wolverine fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Joe has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.

"Because I am not a Wolverine fan"

Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?

"Why I'm a proud Buckeye fan," boasts Joe.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Joe why he is a Buckeye fan

"Well, my mom and dad are Buckeye fans, so I'm a Buckeye fan also."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly.

"What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Joe, "I'd be a Wolverine fan."

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it earth, and it is going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there is going to be a hot spot." God continued, pointing to different lands, "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a unique landmass and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God, "That's Ohio, the most glorious place on earth. It will have beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and fertile farmland. The people from Ohio are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving. I'm also going to give them an incredible football team that will be admired and feared by all who come across it."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about the balance, God. You said that there will be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loudmouth, arrogant bastards I'm putting north of them."

You're stranded on a deserted island with three people: a cannibal, a mass murderer, and a guy in a Michigan hat. You have gun with only two bullets remaining.

Who do you shoot?

The Michigan fan... twice.

IF YOU CRY, WILL YOU TAKE A PICTURE AND POST IT? PLEASE?

BY THE WAY, I DONT THINK YOU HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF OHIO, AND I THINK THE GOD IN YOUR JOKE IS PERHAPS THE MOST MORONIC BEING EVER...

OHIO A BEAUTIFUL PLACE? HAHAHAHAHA, FLAT AND UGLY, LIKE THE TEAMS OFFENSE....

GOD ITS GONNA GET UGLY IN 30 HOURS!!!!

An Ohio State fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Michigan fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious maize and blue colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them.

One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"

The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Wolverine fan strutting down the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Michigan fan."

"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."

After Bo Schembechler dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bo a little two-bedroom house with a faded Michigan Wolverines banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach. Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says.

Bo looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It is a huge three-story brick mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all of the windows. OSU Buckeyes flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge "Go Bucks" banner hangs between the marble columns while the OSU fight
song blares from hidden speakers.

"Thank you for the house, God. But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner, and Woody Hayes gets a mansion with new Ohio State Buckeyes banners and flags flying all over the place." "Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment.

"That's not Woody's house," God says. "That's mine."