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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Oops I ripped one again
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| Author | Topic: Oops I ripped one again | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 505 |
So this girl that I met at a Halloween party a couple of weeks ago came over to my place last night. I had been out with her only once before so I was honestly not expecting to be performing the flying camel or anything because this girl does a lot of volunteering and has a quiet job and doesn't seem to wild. We watched some South Park and then all of a sudden BLAM before I know it we are going at it like we both just got out of prison. The girl with the halo on was bringing the heat like June and July. So after I dismount from the flying camel and she wipes the dirty sanchez remnants from her upper lip, we are laying there and she decides she's gonna crash and go back in the morning. I'm like...ok that's cool, knowing in the back of my mind that I had taken in a shitload of protein before she came over cuz I had finished a heavy back day. My colon had been expanding exponentially all night as a result of me keeping my gas locked inside like alcratraz since the girl came over. So after about 10 minutes of post coital yummy-wumminess I am pretty sure she is drifting off to sleep and I can again feel the gas making its move to the promised land. It is no longer bearable and getting out of bed is not an option so I have a mental chat with my gas and say "it's cool, you can leave, just don't you dare make a fucking sound". I barely crack open the floodgates and out it came PFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRTTTT. Had my friends been present, I would've been awarded roughly a 7.5 for this one. It took every bit of strength I had left in me not to start laughing my ass off. The girl didn't move though or say anything and about 30 seconds after this thing came out of my ass she started making those "i'm falling asleep convulsions." but for all I know it could have been one of those "i'm being polite and pretending i'm asleep so you don't think i heard you crack ass like i've never heard before." this is actually the first time i have ever had this happen, never even happened around girlfriends that i spent the night with a lot. i would like to thank protein for making that moment possible. ------------------     | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 657 |
ha, ha!! don't worry about it, i'm sure she didn't care even if she heard it. everyone farts.. so what does the future look like with this new tuna fish? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 68 |
lol....I know what you mean  that's funny stuff------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 907 |
ROTFLMAO!!! dude that was some funny shit. I no longer take a chance, Ive woken many a chick up with my protein farts. Now I just quietly make my way to the bathroom, turn on the vent, spread my checks, and pray it doesnt break the sound barrier. | ||
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Guru 
Posts: 2405 |
You should of put your ass 1 centimeter from her nose and blasted that piece up her nostrils so she can see what whey protein is all about. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 505 |
i dunno what the future looks like with this one. relationships that start out with sex on the first or second date usually don't last that long in my experience. the sex wasn't bad but she's about 5 years older than me. on the other hand i met another girl last weekend who is the absolute shit. talked to her for like 3 hours the other night on the phone and she had the best sense of humor and we had a shitload in common. it's not very often that a female makes me laugh repeatedly, that's usually a rare thing. the only other female that has made me laugh is havoc's sister when she spits multi-colored ping pong balls out her cooch while I spank her and call her Forrest. ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 657 |
my relationships have always started with sex. i had sex with my last girlfriend on our first date and i ended up dating her for three and a half years - almost got married. i know what you mean about girls with a good sense of humor. i hate stuck-up women, no matter how hot they are. i can only take so much. | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 16 |
the first fart between two lovers is one of the most pivotal points in a relationship...even more so than the first wam-bam-thank-you-mam. if she can bleed out her thingie 5 days a month, then by god we can fart til our hearts are content. |
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Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted November 09, 2000 10:41 AM
