Hamstering!!!

It was a GERBIL!

peace..

Of course he didn't. In fact there has never been a single authenticated case of gerbilling in all of medical history. Some of the stories you hear sound sort-of accurate or credible, mostly because they usually start "I've got this mate whose girlfriend's a nurse, right...", but if you try tracking them back to the original source - surprise surprise - they never happened.

There is an story in circulation which may explain the origin of the story of gerbilling. We've no idea if there's any truth to it, but it's a fun one and bears repeating. Back in the early days of AIDS, when the far-right and the Christian fundamentalists where raving about the depravity of the evil homosexuals and how they should all burn in Hell and how AIDS was God's punishment for their wickedness, a group of gay activists decided to see just how credulous their opponents were, and what sort of nonsense they'd believe. So they created the story of "gerbilling": the idea of deriving sexual pleasure by inserting a small rodent (in some versions, a small rodent with its legs cut off) up the anus. I mean, when you think about it, it's a pretty bloody stupid idea. But not only did the moral rightists believe the story, they spread it - and the myth of gerbilling has been with us ever since. So they say. But how exactly Richard Gere's name ever got attached to the whole thing is anyone's guess.

Direct from the LA Times:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again,so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tubing, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."

Don't call me a pillow muncher you big pile of hipo shit! You want me I am in Mesquite, TX. Anytime you want to step up to the plate come on down!!!

Slopain

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"Past the point of no return--No backward glances: The games
we've played till now are at an end.."