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Author Topic:   hwo to approach a girl properly
The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 13, 2000 10:31 PM

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ok here it is,im kinda getting interested in this girl at work,we have talked a few times but she is really shy as am i,i know shes single cuz ive got the scoop from one of her friends,but how do i approach her to see if she is interested or could get interested?

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Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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ANACONDA

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 587
From:yer nightmares
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 13, 2000 10:44 PM

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JUST TALK TO HER, AND ASK HER.
HERE I WHAT A BRO DID FOR ME..
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN REAL SHY... STILL AM.
HE TOLD ME HOW BAD HE USED TO BE.. HE WOULD GO OUT TO A CLUB AND SIT IN THE CORNER AND THEN GO HOME AND CRY CUZ HE AIN'T GOT NO FRIENDS. NOW I MET THIS DUDE WHEN I WAS BOUNCING, HE WAS ONE OF THE MEANEST SOB'S I HAVE SEEN, I CANNOT PICTURE HIM CRY.... ANYWAY HE CAN GO UP AND MEET ANYONE....ANYONE. HE IS SMOOTH, JUSTS WALKS UP AND SMALL TALKS ABOUT ANYHTING...ANTTHING AT ALL, A SONG THAT IS PLAYING, THERE HAIR, AGE , EYES, CLOTHES IT DON'T MATTER, I WOULD PICK PEOPLE OUT AND HE WOULD TAKE US UP THERE TO SHOW ME HOW EASY IT WAS, USUALLY HE WOULD WALK AWAY LEAVING ME WITH 1 OR 2 GIRLS SITTING ON MY LAP. THEN HE STARTED PICKING THEM OUT FOR ME, THEN I WOULD TAKE US UP THERE AND WORKED OUR WAY IN.
THEN I TOOK IT ONE STEP FURTHER... I WENT TO A CLUB ALONE ON STAURDAY NIGHT AND TRIED TO MEET EVERY DAMN GIRL IN THE JOINT... MUST HAVE BEED OVER 200 THAT NIGHT, I COULDN'T GET THROUGH ALL OF 'EM. HELL, YOU CAN EVEN TELL THEM YOU ARE SHY AND TRYING TO BREAK YOURSELF OF IT! I AM STILL SHY BUT IF I LIKE A GIRL I WILL MOVE IN....
I GOT THAT DOWN... TRY IT BRO. YOU WILL BE AMAZED. STOP WOMDERING IF SHE COULD BE THE ONE, GO FIND OUT! IF SHE SAYS NO, AT LEAST YOU WILL STOP WONDERING. THEN CONTINUE THE SEARCH! SOME GIRLS THINK SHYNESS IS CUTE, BUT
CONFIDENCE IS MORE ATTRACTIVE.


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achele2

Cool Novice

Posts: 33
From:st. louis,mo
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 13, 2000 10:56 PM

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Are you very attracted to her? If so, I suggest writing her a note and slipping it to her. I did this with my boyfriend that I have now, for two years.We worked together for two years and hardly said one word to eachother, until my note. In the note, I told him that I was very attracted to him and told him and that I couldn't stop thinking about him and wrote my # down and asked if he would call me sometime, if he ever thought about me. A week later he called and we started seeing eachother. I got this idea because I had a boyfriend do this to me about 12 years ago and it flattered the hell out of me.


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 13, 2000 11:02 PM

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my biggest fear is rejection,im definitly attracted to her but i hate rejection,the note would be a godo idea

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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Austin316

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 109
From:Saint Paul, MN, USA
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 13, 2000 11:40 PM

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I know what u feel like bro, I have always been really shy and Id kill to be able to break it


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KiNg_BeNNy

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 205
From:new york
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 13, 2000 11:45 PM

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oak everyones has the fear of rejection...its natural...no one wants to feel unwanted.. there is no one correct way of approaching a girl...the best advice i can give or any bro for that matter ..is to be yourself through and through...just talk to her and ask her out ...say hey what are you doing this weekend then if she says i dont know say well i might be doing this ..we should meet up ..something like that...this way there is no pressure....just be yourself bro..

hesitation is the mother of all regret bro


peace kb

------------------
"pain is something the average person spends a lifetime trying to avoid"
"pain is something that we elite seek out and thrive on"

"modus operandi"

"hesitation is the mother of all regret"


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MattTheSkywalker

Moderator

Posts: 1653
From:Atlanta GA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted October 14, 2000 12:08 AM

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Oak,

I discourage the note idea. She may see it as cute, but then again she may see it as childish.

You work with her? Ask her if she wants to eat lunch with you - or if it's a part time job (you;re kind of young)do something afterward.

here you go:

If you ask, and she says no, so what? If you don't ask, she sure as hell can't say yes.

Girls enjoy having guys be interested in them, just like you feel good about yourself when a girl is attracted to you. Girls are people too.

Matt


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mac sloan

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 220
From:Canada
Registered: Apr 2000

posted October 14, 2000 12:17 AM

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I say get some balls and be a man and be blunt with her.
Just be forward,chicks dig a bro with self confidence.You have nothing to lose and you only live once or at least thats what I've heard.


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Rex37

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 199
From:Philly, PA, USA
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 14, 2000 01:15 AM

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Wait until she bends over to get something and BAM hit her in the back of the head w/ an object and shes all yours...JK

Seriously though do what Matt said and ask her if she'd wanna do something after work.

When I got my soph hop date(yeah that chick, its been a dry spell for me since moving) I did something really strange to guys to get her to like me. I asked her questions bout her. People love talking bout themselves its a known fact. Then when she asked me questions I'd make her crave for more. I played that way for a while then whamo I had her asking me out. Now it was a long and tedious process so Matts idea is so far the best if ya wanna get in fast. I have to work a different angle since I ain't all that good w/ girls.
Things have picked up though as I got one that likes me. She goes to my games, calls me, so on and so forth. You guys get the point. I was gonna work my original long angle but my boy told her how good boyfriend material I'd make and shit so its movin a little faster.

------------------
Your soul may belong to Jesus, but your ass belongs to me.


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Frackal

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 571
From:THE VOID
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 14, 2000 01:15 AM

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I would just like to add that all girls are stupid and I'm sick of their bullshit. Thank you.


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Rex37

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 199
From:Philly, PA, USA
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posted October 14, 2000 01:16 AM

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Frackal also brings up a different angle.

------------------
Your soul may belong to Jesus, but your ass belongs to me.


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MattTheSkywalker

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From:Atlanta GA
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posted October 14, 2000 01:23 AM

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Frackal,

You're too young to be sick of their bullshit. I'm too young to be sick of their bullshit.

Instead, now you know that girls are often full of shit. So when they play games with you, don't sweat it.

Easier said than done I realize.

Matt


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Frackal

Pro Bodybuilder

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From:THE VOID
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posted October 14, 2000 01:46 AM

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I know...I don't let it bug me that much, but it is a bit irritating when:

1. A girl says (the one who never called that one night): "Oh, I lost your phone #...can I get it again so I can call you tonight?"
So what happened...bitch never called.

2. Girl #2. "Hey, are you working tonight?"
(me) "Yeah"
"I'll stop by around 4:00 to hang out w/ you for awhile"
So what happened...bitch never came.

I hate unreliable fucking people. I hate unreliable girls more. Bitch, if you say you're gonna call, THEN FUCKING CALL!
I am quite tired of games and shit. Oh well.

Guess I better get used to it eh?

------------------
FUCK GIRLS

- I Used To Have 1200 Posts -


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Future One

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 482
From:New Detroit, Humboldt Quadrant
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posted October 14, 2000 02:06 AM

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Frackal my bro, I feel your pain...

------------------
Particle Weapon...UP YOUR ASS!!

"Don't eat me! eat Dredd! he works out!" - From Judge Dredd.


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magic storm

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 120
From:Baltimore,MD,U.S.A
Registered: Oct 2000

posted October 14, 2000 02:13 AM

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This is what you do in order to talk to a girl you have some kind of interest in.You say exscuss me Hi my name is blah,and you are who?Tell her how pretty she is and the rest of the story is your imagination.


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 10:45 AM

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im getting a lil help from another girl at work who knows her,but im definetly going for it,i got nothing to lose im jsut gonna ask if she wants to catch a movie sometime or something thanx everyone

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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achele2

Cool Novice

Posts: 33
From:st. louis,mo
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 10:50 AM

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At least with a note, she can't reject you to your face. And if someone doesn't want you, why would you sit and cry about it? Women don't like men who don't have confidence anyway. It is just your opinion anyway that a note is stupid, but you seem to be taking mostly men's advice, why not listen to a women? Whoever the guy is that said "fuck girls" sounds a baby. Maybe that is your problem, try a WOMAN, not a GIRL!!!


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

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From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 10:54 AM

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the note idea was very good im thinking about that,i am not sure the next time we work together so ill think about it before then

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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smallboy2

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 101
From:New York
Registered: Mar 2000

posted October 14, 2000 11:18 AM

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Start hanging out with one of her friends that you are also friends with and ask them to bring her out one night. If you fear rejection just keep hanging around her until she makes the first move.


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madbomber31

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 159
From:in Nashville, but always a Detroiter!!!
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 14, 2000 11:38 AM

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to frackal....

see, what is gonna happen is your gonna put up an emotional wall, and start playing chicks because they got to you... next thing you know your the stereotypical "dog". they dont realize they are the ones that make us dogs. actually, they are too stupid to realize this...selfish whores!!!

chicks need to stop bitching about each and every fuckin guy being an asshole and realize its their sisterhood that has created this mystique.


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 11:40 AM

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not all guys are assholes some are

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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achele2

Cool Novice

Posts: 33
From:st. louis,mo
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 12:41 PM

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Hey Oak,what are your stats? Are you big and muscular? There is nothing more attractive than a muscle man who has a sensitive,sweet side to him. Not all women are whores and bitches like your friends think(if they are your friends), just like all men are not assholes, I know there are a lot of good men who don't see women as wet holes. I seem to side more with my male friends then female friends because I have seen more men get hurt than women.


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Frackal

Pro Bodybuilder

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From:THE VOID
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posted October 14, 2000 12:53 PM

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I'm definitely not an asshole. But combining the past events of the summer and my current mini-relationships is starting to get to me. Whatever happened to:
"Oh, I like you"
"Well I like you to"
"Let's fuck"
"Ok"

Seriously, girls my age are about as flaky as you can get. I haven't met one that didn't seem like a 'game-player', and I don't have the time nor the patience for fucking games.

------------------
FUCK GIRLS

- I Used To Have 1200 Posts -


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mikecsa

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 104
From:TN
Registered: May 2000

posted October 14, 2000 01:16 PM

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Good Thoughts on the subject Frackal!! i'm right there with ya, "use,abuse,and lose them" thats the way you do it. i've seen too many of my friends get totally screwed in the head because of what some bitch did to them, it just pisses me off to see it happen to them, so i love to get back at them by usin their own game against them.

mike

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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 02:14 PM

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im only 5'6 165-170 i look good in a shirt im not a monster cuz im only 16 but it hink i got decent size,ill have the pics back tue u all can judge

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Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 02:20 PM

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keep the suggestions coming

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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Zeacky

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 319
From:Rancho
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posted October 14, 2000 02:41 PM

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A movie is not a good idea for a first date (If that's what it is?).

Try a coffee shop? I always liked that one...

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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 02:45 PM

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i agree maybe pool or something,i still have to get teh nerve up to ask and figure out how ill talk to her

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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BIG RICK ROCK

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From:
Registered: Mar 2000

posted October 14, 2000 03:44 PM

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Ok bro here is all you need to know.
http://www.elitefitness.com/ubb/Archives/Forum10/06-2000/000488.html


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bikinimom

Moderator

Posts: 1005
From:La-La Land
Registered: Jun 2000

posted October 14, 2000 03:51 PM

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OK Brotha Oak, I'm gonna give it to ou straight.

Girls, though I admit, many ARE TRULY FUCKED UP, are people too. If the girl in question is about your age, BELIEVE ME, she is every bit as worried and afraid of rejection as you. So, don't sweat that.

Back in the day, if I saw a guy who I dug I would either just flat out walk up to him and say something or I would try to make eye contact, give a little coquettish smile and look away. Then I'd look back a few seconds later and see if he was still looking at me and whether or not he was smiling. I did this a few times to let the guy know that I thought he was cute and that it was OK for him to approach me. Do you see any behaviour of this sort?

Say, the girl flat out disses you - FUCK HER. She was not ALL THAT anyway.

The only time I ever totally dissed a guy who had the balls to approach me (I'm not saying that I was all that. I'm saying that I respected the fact that he was probably really nervous and afraid of getting shot down, and he sucked it up and took a chance, anyway risking getting blown off.) was if he was a total ASSHOLE.

So, don't be a total ASSHOLE and you will be fine. Don't worry about impressing her or being who YOU THINK she might want you to be.

I think you've matured quite a bit in the recent past and that your "new and improved" self can handle any scenario that may occur!

GOOD LUCK and LET US KNOW HOW YO DID!

------------------

....beauty knows no pain.


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 14, 2000 04:12 PM

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we really havent had much eye contact becuase we work in different parts of the restaurant,but for no reason one time she came back to talk to me which was cool,im just gonna give it a go be nice not a asshole and see how things turn out,maybe she will wanna play pool or something,ill let u know what happens prob late next week unless i work with her tonite or tommorow
thanx for the help everyone

------------------
Milk is for babies, when you grow up drink beer


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ANACONDA

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 587
From:yer nightmares
Registered: Sep 2000

posted October 14, 2000 05:13 PM

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WHO CARES ABOUT REJECTION.. READ MY EARLIER POST.... YOU WILL SEE FOR EVERY "ONE" PERSON THAT DOES NOT ACCEPT YOU WITH OPEN ARMS...
3 OR 4 OTHERS WILL. SOME WILL ALWAYS LIKE YOU.. SOME WILL NOT REALLY CARE IF YOU EXIST AT ALL, AND SOME WOULD LIKE TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, ALL FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN YOUR LOOKS, HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AND THINGS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL LIKE PEOPLE THEY HAVE MET IN THE PAST!


GIVE ME SOME LOVING OR SOMEBODY ELSE WILL!


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ANACONDA

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From:yer nightmares
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posted October 14, 2000 06:14 PM

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OR YOU COULD JUST BEND HER OVER!


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Latimer

Elite Bodybuilder

Posts: 829
From:
Registered: May 2000

posted October 14, 2000 06:17 PM

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Just get naked and walk up to her and say, I came her with my dick in my hand, don't make me leave here with my foot in your ass. Then tell her to bend over and show you what she's working with.


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ANACONDA

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 587
From:yer nightmares
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posted October 14, 2000 06:25 PM

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YEAH.. I AGREE LATIMER!! AND TELL HER YA LOVE HER AND YOU WOULD ONLY DO IT BECUZ OF THAT...


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ryry

Elite Bodybuilder

Posts: 971
From:your mama's womb
Registered: Apr 2000

posted October 15, 2000 01:15 AM

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to all the bros out there that are shy, i feel your pain. i get my fair share of looks when i go to the clubs or whatever, the thing is i'm just to shy to do anything about it. i can't even make eye contact, then it comes out looking that i am an asshole and really stuck up. in all reality is that i'm just to shy to initiate any contact of some sort. i'm what you would call a late bloomer so all this attention that i get now is really awkward for me.

the best advice i could give you is that be honest and be yourself. if you think she is pretty and you want to get to know her, say exactly that. don't use a pick up line or some sort of scheme or plan cause unless their really stupid, girls will see right through you and they won't even give you a second thought. now if i can only grow some balls and follow my own advice i'd be set...

------------------
"The race is long... and in the end, it's only with yourself."
"The greatest risk is not taking one."
Abs are what separate the men from the boys.


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magic storm

Amateur Bodybuilder

Posts: 120
From:Baltimore,MD,U.S.A
Registered: Oct 2000

posted October 15, 2000 04:10 AM

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Buy her a drink at the bar and wear a loose shirt so she can see your buff chest.She will be on you before you can say Hot Mamma!


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mr.f

Novice

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From:Cape Town, South Africa
Registered: Oct 2000

posted October 15, 2000 06:18 AM

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I too am very shy. Don't go out, don't have friends, only the TV and playstation to keep me busy. However, at my gym is a girl that I would like to go out with. She always trains alone so I asume she doesn't have a boy friend. But now I don't know how to approach her, should I just go ask her out or should I first try to be friends with her and then ask her out. The main thing that I am afraid of is that she will say no.


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Your_Moms_Kneepads

Elite Bodybuilder

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From:San Diego,CA
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posted October 15, 2000 06:30 AM

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I was never one for smalltalk when talking to a girl unless two of you made strong eye contact and had an instant connection then I would always have a joke or had a stupid question to ask them that would catch them off gaurd like, "If you were in the shower and all lathered up and realized you had to pee really bad would you wait till you got out of the shower or would you say what the hell, aim for the drain and go right in the drain??
I know its kinda crude but I like women who are little crazy and very down to earth. If a woman can tell me she does that and later on tells me that she masturbates and feels comfortable about it I know I'm in the right direction. Its just me but a super hottie that comes over to me and starts up a conversation about small shit and cant escalate it is no match for just an in shape cute girl who can talk about really funny stuff and who can answer my questions truthfully and agree with them

------------------
Your_Moms_Kneepads: Contributing to the moral decay of America since 1971.


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mightydog

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From:
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posted October 15, 2000 06:52 AM

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Man, I'm an expert at this. I'm an old single dude always have been so I'm probably more accustomed to the struggle than anyone. The note idea is not too bad if you consider you have the note tagged with some flowers sent to her. U send flowers=U don't loose, just my experience. Rejection would really suck in this case because you have to see the woman at work, which I guess is most of the time. If you have other friends at work you may make it look like an after work employee get together. That way if she says "no", it won't look like she is rejecting YOU! Frac, i felt that way at your age. It ain't gonna change and you ain't gonna quit because we all get a little lucky sometimes.Are we not just sex junkies looking for a dealer?


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The Canadian Oak

Pro Bodybuilder

Posts: 552
From:brantford,ontario,canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted October 15, 2000 12:09 PM

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thanx for all the help everyone ill know next friday nite cuz its the next time i work and ill keep everyone posted

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