>Whenever you have a really bad day and feel like you just need to take
>it out on someone, STOP! Don't take that bad day out on someone you
>know, take it out on someone you DON'T KNOW!
>
>Now get this. I needed to call a friend and tried dialing the number from
>memory.
> >
> > A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said,
> >
> > "This is Patrick Hanifin, could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
> >
> > The phone was slammed down in my ear! I couldn't believe anyone could
> > be so rude.
> >
> > I looked up Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the
> > last two digits.
> >
> > After I hung up with Robin, I decided to call the "wrong" number again.
> > The same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and
> > hung up.
> >
> > I wrote down the number and the word "jackass." I put it in my desk
> > drawer. Every couple of weeks, while paying bills, or after a really
> > bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!"
> > It
> > would always cheer me up.
> >
> > Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a
> > real disappointment for me, I thought I would have to stop calling the
> > jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, "Hello." I
> > made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company
> > and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID
> > program?"
> >
> > He said, "No!" and slammed the phone down.
> >
> > I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
> >
> > [Keep reading, it gets better.]
> >
> > An old lady at the mall was taking her time pulling out of her parking
> > space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. When she finally did
> > pull out, I began to move forward. All of a sudden this black Camaro
> > came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and whips into
> > her space.
> >
> > I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy.
> > I was here first!"
> >
> > The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked
> > toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this
> > guy's a jackass, there sure are a lot of jackasses in this world. I
> > noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote
> > down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
> >
> > A week later I had a really bad day. I made my usual Jackass call,
> > (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)
> >
> > Then I remembered the guy with the black Camaro, I found his number in
> > my wallet and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
> >
> > After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."
> >
> > I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
> >
> > "Yes, it is."
> >
> > "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
> >
> > "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car
> > is parked right out front."
> >
> > "What's your name?"
> >
> > "My name is Don Hansen."
> >
> > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> >
> > "I'm home in the evenings."
> >
> > "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
> >
> > "Yes,"
> >
> > "Don, you're a jackass!" I slammed the phone down.
> >
> > After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dial. For a
> > while things seemed to be going better for me.Now when I had a problem
> > I had two jackasses to call. After several months of calling the
> > jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used
> > to be.
> >
> > I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:
> >
> > First, I called Jackass #1.
> >
> > A man answered nicely saying,"Hello.
> >
> > "I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up. The jackass said,
> > "Are you still there?"
> >
> > I said, "Yeah."
> >
> > He said, "Stop calling me."
> >
> > I said, "No."
> >
> > He said "What's your name, pal?"
> >
> > I said, "Don Hansen."
> >
> > He said, "Where do you live?"
> >
> > "1802 West 34th Street.It's a yellow house and my black Camaro is
> > parked out front."
> >
> > "I'm coming over right now, Don.You'd better start saying your
> > prayers."
> >
> > "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" I hung up.
> >
> > Then I called Jackass #2.
> >
> > He answered, "Hello."
> >
> > I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
> >
> > He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> >
> > "You'll what?"
> >
> > "I'll kick your butt."
> >
> > "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" I hung
> > up.
> >
> > Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at
> > 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon
> > as he got home.Another <http://home.Another> quick call to Channel 13
>with
> > the same story.
> > After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to
> > watch the whole thing.
> >
> > Glorious watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in
> > front of 6 squad cars and a Channel 13 News helicopter! It was one of
> > the greatest experiences of my life!
> >
> > Name withheld to protect the guilty
>
>

SORRY COULDNT RESIST!

------------------
IN IRON WE TRUST.

HEAVEN IS THE BACKSEAT OF MY CADILLAC.