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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Fat Grandma is coming to visit, God have mercy on my soul!
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| Author | Topic: Fat Grandma is coming to visit, God have mercy on my soul! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1084 |
So I was up til 4 AM last night. My GF's bosse's birthday was last night and I got pulled out of my nice warm house to go out with a bunch of drunk sorority chicks to go to the bars. I had a few rolls hidden away so I thought the night wouldn't be totally lost. We head downtown and my GF starts showing off for her coworker in the backseat of my Jeep, "You better not be rolling tonight, if you are I'm not talking to you all night!" I thought, hey I'm on the bonus plan. That wasn't the case. Rotten, pay all of our cover in, Rott buy her a round of shots for her birthday, Rott make sure none of my friends has an empty drink. I'm getting pissed, but my rolls starting to kick in so its all good. The more her friends drank, the more obnoxious they got, go figure. They were getting on every last nerve and totally killed my roll. I don't drink, so I decided to run home and do a little G. I was tired as shit so I popped a Ripped Fuel to keep me going. Big mistake. I drove back to where the hell have you been, her drinks empty. I asked if anyone else was going to buy her a drink or am I financing the whole bar. We get home after the bars, and I'm horney as hell. The GF said her feet hurt so I rubbed em, went in for the kill, and she informed me that she was too tired for sex. I was thinking this little biatch just had me drop a small fortune on her friends and no sex for the Rottmeister?!? So I went in the the computer room to spank it. Finally about 4AM I got tired enough to sleep. Morning came too early today! I had left all the windows open so it was colder than Slick's golddust covered poon. I had to be at work at 8:30, so I crawled my ass out of bed to the shower. I hadn't even gotten into the hot steamy water before the GF decided to get in with me, and hog all the water. So I'm standing there freezing my ass off, and she casually says don't forget to pick up my son. I said that its Friday, we don't have him on weekends. She said well my grandma is coming to stay with us this weekend. HOLY SHIT!!! I said I thought you had to work all weekend. She said I do, you need to entertain her. I saw my life flash before my eyes. My weekend was screwed, my life is screwed, and I'm probably not getting screwed. So when you guys are out this weekend enjoying yourself take a brief second and think of poor old Rott. Maybe even say a little prayer. ------------------    | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 269 |
DAMN! Did she think you were Santa Claus or something? Buying drinks, paying cover charges... shit bro, please tell me you didnt spring for all of them to get their hair and nails done the next morning!  ------------------  | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 898 |
It's simple... poor 5 caps of G in her Grandma's apple cider and head to the tittie bar. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1064 |
Rotten you need to come to CA for the weekend...theres the Harbor Festival going on...music, wine/beer, big ships and the ocean. And don't tell me you don't drink....hypocrite. Just leave the rolls for G'ma...she'll have a good time. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 277 |
kill yourself immediately | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1084 |
Hell no Monster. I did it cause I thought I was getting some afterwards. What did I get, nada. Just a little sock action going on. Her friends expect that too, that's what's fucked up. I usually have a stocked bar for company, so they don't even bring their own beer for afterwards. Her best friend called about 3:30 drunk ass shit and just had a boob job. I wanted to tell her to come over and hang out so bad. I was good tho. God I suck! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1084 |
Thick good idea, but I can see fat grandmas 300 lb ass getting horney on me from the G and try to pull an Arkansas on me. Sky, you know I would in a heartbeat. But CA is a little far to go for the weekend. What do you mean hypocrite, I don't drink. Well not often anyway. Supersizeme, why don't you do a brother a favor and loan me your gun right after you demonstrate how to shoot yourself for me. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 898 |
300 lbs eh? You could drop her off at the nearest all-you-can-eat buffet tonight and pick her up Sunday. Or you can pull off a Special Bill maneuver and roll her in flour and start hammerin' the wet spot. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 70 |
HAHAHHAHAHHAH It sucks being Rotten! She's got your ass tagged. Tell Granny we love her. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1084 |
My Rott scares her. Maybe I'll wait til she sleeps and poor BBQ sauce all over her. He can have her as a buffet. The GF doesn't see what the problem is, but her ass is going to be safe at work. I could do the flour idea, but there would be too many wet spots around the fat rolls to choose from. Last time she stayed with us I thought someone had left a blanket in the bathroom. It was her underware she left on the floor from her shower. <shudder!> |
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posted October 06, 2000 11:19 AM
