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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 I need help. Serious Topic!!
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| Author | Topic: I need help. Serious Topic!! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 146 |
ok, I have come to the conclusion I have some sort of social anxiety. Here is what my problem is. Say I have a meeting at work and i am put on the spot or introduced to a new group of people or even people i am around all the time. Guys I freeze up, My heart pounds I can feel my face getting red, and I can barely speak. I was in a wedding a few weeks ago and just standing up in front of all those people made my legs shake. If I know I have a meeting coming up this afternoon I cringe and literally try to avoid it. What the wierd thing is I go out meet new people on the social level and this does not bother me. I know there is no way i could give a speech in front of even 10 people because i would cringe but I can show off for 100 ladies in the gym. Guys gals anybody have these experiences?? Any input would help me because this is affecting my life. I expect the usaual from Thick and Rotten, flame on bro's, but seriously I need some input!!    | ||
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Freak 
Posts: 1753 |
Easy answer, everytime you get nervous or feel uneasy picture everyone to look like Rotten, TD, Special Bill or Slopain, this will cause you too either laugh or faint. Good luck. ------------------  | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 681 |
I'm the same way. I'm scared of public speaking too. I don't like being the center of attention. I have yet to find a cure for it either. I just try and avoid these situations. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Thick I am talking like even a meeting with co-workers or some interactive training, I get asked a question or asked for some input and i just fucking freeze bro. Ever have it this extreme?? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 291 |
Yeah Thick...jsut avoid it.....NOT...all you gotta do is pretend that everyone your talking ot is total tanked....they are so drunk they don't even hear what your saying.....so no pressure  | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 291 |
Actaully what I try and do is pick one person....if you know one of them then that is good, if not pick one that seems nice, and try to petend your talking just to them, make sure the eye contact isn't oo hard...you don't want to come across like a lazy eyed psycho or anything, but it helps to focus and remove the "big" group anxiety...your just talking to that one person | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 291 |
Actually what I try and do is pick one person....if you know one of them then that is good, if not pick one that seems nice, and try to petend your talking just to them, make sure the eye contact isn't oo hard...you don't want to come across like a lazy eyed psycho or anything, but it helps to focus and remove the "big" group anxiety...your just talking to that one person | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Shag, I am not a social outcast, i am very outgoing attractive so i have been told, I am not a small guy what so ever and i try to pretend like I am the man and shit like that but it does not work. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 912 |
Wow, I'm gonna be the serious one, hell has frozen over. You just need to relax, and I know easier said then done. I am the same way, but I found a way to beat it. If I start feeling this way I just take slow deliberate breaths, and concentrate on what I'm doing not all the people. You are involved whether giving a speech or introducing people because you have some authority. Otherwise they wouldn't give you the responsibility. Whether its five or one-hundred people, they want to know what you have to say. Its just like you saying you show off for 100 ladies in the gym (I doubt it tho stickboy), the women at the gym want to see what you've got physically, and the people at work and social situations want to see what you've got mentally. Just flex your mental powers the same way you'd flex at the gym. Your in control of them, so show it. Now schedual another appointment with my secretary on your way out, and I'll bill you my $300 an hour charge. I would say to imagine havoc naked everytime you start to get an attack, but he's too big of a pussy to post a pic of this genetic superbeing he claims to be. ------------------ [This message has been edited by Rotten (edited September 28, 2000).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Rotten Thanks bro. I have tried not thinking about it and just focusing on what I have to do. Sometimes it is worse than others. I even wonder what is going through the minds of the people that are listening to me. It is crazy. Any other responses out there?? | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 899 |
I think I understand how you are. I used to actually SHAKE when had to speak in public. You could hear it in my voice. I would tremble so bad people thought I was sick. .. no easy answer. I solved it with PRACTICE. When I first started teaching classes at night they terrified me. Sweaty palms, shakey voice. After a while you get used to it. Now it is nothing for me to go up infront of 30 people and talk for an hour. It took about 2 months of doing it every day to get over the anxiety. Perhaps you can force your self into particular situations where you are the center of attention until you get use to it?  | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 291 |
Yeah I'm with JohhnyO ...practice Practice Practic...I think there are some help club..the Toast Master Club?? You could try one of those...or a public speaking class or something.....its a vital skill for buisness! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Johnny, You hit the nail on the head. So I should just take it in the ass and look like an idiot for awhile instead of trying to avoid it. I had the same reactions you did. Shaky voice heart pounding and body tremors!! | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 899 |
Don't you just love that term "take it in the ass" ..  anyway...I still have problems with talking on the phone, however if I do all my unpleasant business FIRST (meetings, bad phone calls) ..it makes the rest of the day go better. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
See talking on the phone and stuff like that does not bother me!! For example the wedding I was talking about some of the groomsmen said something to the bride and groom and I was going to but it kicked in again and i started to get that panic feeling. But it mainly happens at work. Meetings and shit like that. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Gonna bump this, Has anyone taken any medication for this?? Johnny?? Rotten?? I have heard the drug Paxil is prescribed for this type of anxiety!! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 125 |
JUST DO WHAT HAVOC WOULD DO..SMOKE SOME CRONIC SHIT ..AND CHILL PEACE KB ------------------ "modus operandi" "hesitation is the mother of all regret" | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 98 |
a serious reply for you man....It seems you have a fear of being the centre of attention, your fine when you go out and socialise,when everythings on the level and the pressure aint on, but when all eyes are focused on you the pressure ,of failure or not being liked/accepted builds up and that is all you can think about which blocks your true self from showing. It seems like you have to , i hate to say it man, but 'learn to love yourself' man. Another practical thing to do would to hit your fear head on, have yiu ever thought about joining a public speaking club, i have had several friends with cases similiar to yours do this and over the last couple of years they have more than conquered this problem.......good luck bro | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 899 |
I haven't taken meds for this... i've been thinking about it, but I don't think it is that bad, and I've survived 30 years with out it, and I'm doing well. I think it sort of smooths everything out, to where you don't feel strongly about anything. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Barney, Thanks man. I have done alot of research on this and i dont think it is an issue of me not loving myself but an actual chemical imbalance in my brain. It affects over 8% of the population. At 1st I thought I was a freak but more people than i figured are dealing with this. WHAT IS STRANGE IS THIS JUST STARTED LIKE 1 YEAR AGO. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 364 |
Sounds cheesy, but The Dale Carnegie course WILL either cure you of this or go a long ways torwards doing so. It's about $1500 so see if work will spring for it (mine did). Good luck. You might consider a therapist. I know, guys aren't supposed to need help, but... you'd be suprised what you say and the type of feedback you get from a non-associated, trained 3rd party. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Truck, Were your issues the same?? I mean fear of being put on the spot and the other shit I posted?? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Anybody just gettin on the board have input?? Bump!! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 85 |
Big C. Stay on for a couple minutes. I'll post what works for me. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 124 |
Big C. I was on paxil for two years and it just really has too many side effects that outweigh the benifits. Plus it really hurt when I would cum and that just plane sucks! You should probably take this to a Psychiatrist rather than asking a bunch of gear heads what we think. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 85 |
I used to be petrified to talk infront of people from 5th grade-just about a half of a year ago, cause of changing schools twice in that time frame. When you go into an environment where everyone is new. It is alot easier to speak infront of them and in my case take charge. Last year my hockey team changed to there being alot of new people. Nobody really talked so I took over as the leader even though I didn't get captaincy until that spring. When I have to talk infront of a group of people, I think I'm talking to my team (but I never make eye contact with anybody) or when there is alot of people (30ish) I pretend noone is in the room and I just say what I have to out loud. So when you have to speak try thinking theyre a bunch of your closest friends or that there is absolutly noone in the room. In my criminal justice class I haev over 30 kids, I knew bout 4 but not on a friend level, in there and had to make an opening statement in front of everyone. I just got up and started saying what I had to while looking above the wall or out the window (cause I got to walk around the front of the room during the statement) thinkin noone was in even in the room. After I was done my teacher looked at me and was like "that was a hell of an opening statement." Heres what I do... -Look confident. Even if I'm shitting bricks. -Speak loudly. Almost to the point of where if I got a meaner tone in my voice I'd be yelling and scare some people. -DON'T make eye contact with ANYONE. They're not afraid to sit there, they'er afraid to stand in front of the room though like everyone else. -Look at the wall above them or whatever is square to my shoulders. Hope I helped ya. Eventually you'll get over the fear. [This message has been edited by Rex37 (edited September 28, 2000).] | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 459 |
i hate public speaking also and my law class is all essays and presentations im all nervous but once i start i get use to it but at first i stutter ,i just look aroudn alot and look over peoples heads so i dont see them ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
Thanks to everyone for the advice. I notice like say i am starting something new at work and we have some training that once I am aroudn everyone for a period of time it gets 100 times easier. I think that it may be that initial open up. I like the take charge attitude because you obviously feel more confident when in charge. Anyone else have thoughts. All these ideas are great and i will start using them!! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 93 |
Some good advice here. Let me offer some experience and it sounds too simple. You must face the fear. it's the only way. Accept it, relax towards it, and let it do what it's going to do. It will lessen, trust me. You aren't going to die, and they can't eat you. That's all the worst that can happen. let go bro.......... ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 215 |
i had the same deal...i got on paxil and went to a therapist once every week or 2 weeks, few months later i'm over it. if you can afford it don't tough it out, get it taken care of professionally is my opinion. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 124 |
Big C. One other thing. Look into Toast Masters they are an organization that helps people develop presentation and speaking skills. Great group of folks ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 146 |
20.4 good idea, But I dont have a problem speaking. I just have a fear of being put on the spot, or asked a question in front of a group and have to give an explanation. It is really strange man!! |
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posted September 28, 2000 10:38 AM
