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| Author | Topic: damn.... |
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Rexie317 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 394) |
posted July 24, 2000 10:09 PM
  
Within the past week some serious shit has gone down in my life. -I got fired from my job b/c my dickhead boss wouldn't give me day shifts and I told him I wouldn't work night shifts. -I get an ultamatum from my dad saying if I don't find a job by Friday hes gonna sell the car my mom gave me. I let him claim it b/c he wanted my insurance to be less expensive for me. So technicly he owns the car and can do as he pleases with it. He isn't a prick, just makin me learn some repsonsibility. I'm gettin a new job very soon, so the ultamatum is off. -My step-sister went out to Kansas city last week for vacation. She told everybody that her and a friend were going to stay at the friend's cousins' house. LIE. She met some punk over the internet and went out there to move in with him. We didn't find out until last nite cause she didn't come home on the scheduled flight, my dad got onto her screen name and talked to the friend she was supposed to go to KC with. Her friend told my dad she had no idea what was goin on and she was never goin out to KC. Finally my dad called the KC police told them the address of the guy, they went over there, asked for my step sis and what was goin on. My step sis told them that she couldn't deal with the shit that was goin on at home and was writing us a letter tellin us she decided to move out there. No respect at all for anybody. Not her boss, not me, not my dad, not her sister, and not even her own mother. It fuckin hurts that someone I considered as close as a real sister could fuckin abandon me like that. We didn't always get along, but we were pretty close. She left me with the illusion that she'd be back. She helped me with girl problems, life problems, and was there to listen when I needed someone to talk to. Its weird, when she first left here the house felt the same cause I knew she'd be back, but today when I came in from sleepin over my friends house it felt empty. I've never been hurt like that before. I cried my eyes out when my grandmother died, but I knew she didn't reject me. With this though I got a feeling of rejection. Rejection as if I'm not wanted in her life. Makes me feel as if I was part of the reason she left. Sure I'm a prick when I wanna be and sometimes I was a prick to her, but not that bad. I don't know what the frig is goin on anymore. Seems like everything I've had to go threw to get my life to this point before seemed useless cause its all falling apart. I'm told what goes on in your life builds you as a person. Well a characteristic that has become part of me now is that I could never just walk out on the people I love with no intentions of ever coming back. It hurts so much and I never want anyone to have to feel the pain I'm in right now. I've been rejected by girls before, but that was never a big deal to me. There was no pain from being rejected by a girl I was interested in. My step sister told me to forget bout her and move onto the next chick, but having someone you care about saying there was too much shit goin on at home for them to live there makes you feel as if you were part of the problem. The pain that comes with that...theres no words for. Damn.... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1253) |
posted July 24, 2000 10:42 PM
That is some harsh shit bro. I really dont know what else to say. Next time you see her tell her how you felt about what she did. Goodluck bro and dont take it to hard. Some people are just like that. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Pokemon Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 187) |
posted July 24, 2000 10:52 PM
Email her what you just wrote to us! IP: Logged |
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Rexie317 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 394) |
posted July 24, 2000 11:02 PM
Thanx Moe. When shit happens to me that I can't do anything bout I use it as motivation for anything I have to take care of. My step-sis hasn't realized that running away from your problems doesn't make them go away; it only creates more. This jax up the motivation for my training. However much something hurts me I use it for motivation that much more. That hot chick that rejected me, still usin that as motivation, though it didn't hurt I love making people think "what if..." So she'll say "What if I hadn't chose this bum over that kid?" But with my step sis I'm sending that pain inside out with some intense leg liftin tomorow. Sorry this shit is so long. I gotta vent still. -Pokemon: Thats a good idea, but she lost her email address since shes not livin here. I know the address shes at so I'll write that to her. [This message has been edited by Rexie317 (edited July 24, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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THE STEEL BEAST Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 625) |
posted July 24, 2000 11:12 PM
ITS HARD MAN.SHE WILL COME BACK EVENTUALLY.SHE WILL REALIZE WHAT IS BEST FOR HER SOON ENOUGH.JUST KEEP STRONG AND KEEP UP A POSITIVE MENTALITY.THINGS WILL LOOK UP.THEY ALWAYS DO.STAY STRONG AND DONT LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING KEEP YOU FROM ACHEVING YOUR GOALS.WE ARE BEHIND YOU MAN. ------------------ THE WEAK AND THE UGLY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT WE ARE. IP: Logged |
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mystic_hormones Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 198) |
posted July 25, 2000 01:38 AM
she will be back when one day she realizes that she has done a dumb thing turning her back on the family and how she had it made living with you guys. When she does come back have a long family talk and talk about the good times. she'll feel guilty and never leave again. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Rexie317 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 394) |
posted July 25, 2000 01:53 AM
This whole thing has taught me to appreciate the people and things around me that I usually took for granted. They say you don't appreciate something until its gone and you'd give anything to get it back. So true. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Big Buck Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 255) |
posted July 25, 2000 06:18 PM
Damn Rexie, sorry to hear that bro. Hope things get better for ya bro. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 986) |
posted July 25, 2000 06:22 PM
Damn Rex obviously the 1st two problems don't compare to the last one. I know it sucks, but maybe she wanted to tell you but knew youd say thats dumb don't do it and possibly tell someone? Turn the hurt into anger and take the anger out on the steel. Slopain IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 453) |
posted July 25, 2000 06:32 PM
Ditto to Slopains last statement... Hang in there Rexie..its true what they say you know "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Its difficult not to take something like that personally isn't it? But it has everything to do with her and her state of mind rather than an outright rejection of you personally. I think its wise to let her know how you feel, but don't expect that to change things - at least not in the short term. But I can guarantee you there will be a time when she looks back and says "damn" herself for the pain she caused you. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 326) |
posted July 25, 2000 06:37 PM
Rexie - you sound like you're going to be OK. I know how it feels to be abandoned by someone you grew up with, someone that you cared about and who you thought cared about you. Maybe she'll come back home, maybe she won't. It's clear that she hurt you deeply, but I don't think that was her intention. I don't know what was going on inside your sister's head, but she must have been feeling some intense pain herself to behave the way she did. No excuse, just trying to help you make sense of it all. One thing about life is that there are so many senseless things that go on - no rhyme, no reason - they just are. You seem to be level-headed and extremely bright. To be able take such pain and try to turn it into something positive; I think this says a lot about your level of maturity and your strength of character. Maybe if things get to be too tough, though to bear (emotionally) you might want to look into some counseling - not telling you how to live your life (Personally, I think you'll go far.) just saying that a little counseling goes a long way! You sound like a good man. IP: Logged |
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Romeo Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 585) |
posted July 25, 2000 07:56 PM
hey bro that sucks ..man but just keep your head up ..man and do like the bro said hit the steel even harder or punch the wall a few times
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Rexie317 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 394) |
posted July 25, 2000 09:00 PM
Thanx for the help guys. Its good to know I can console in you guys. Slo: The Steel shall feel my pain. And tomorow my legs shall feel the pain I induced into the steel. Hehe Sky: That quote you said is true. In my short 16 years I've gone threw some stuff that hurt like a mutha. I learned that you can't get over the things that hurt you, you gotta get threw them. Nothin gets threw hard stuff like a tank. It is extremely difficult to not take what happened personally, but unfortunatly I took it to heart.I'm gonna let her know how I feel and realize that won't change anything if she already went this far to get away. BM: I think I'll be aight, just need a little time to accept what happened. I ain't too sure she'll come back though. You're right about things just being the way they are. Thanx for the high opinion of me. If this gets too tough for me to handle on my own I'll look into the whole counseling thing. Now I the chance to make the 2nd part of my signature describe me to a T (T for tank). Guys, thanx for all the support. I gotta go let out some stress. Going to the gym to do the legs. ------------------ [This message has been edited by Rexie317 (edited July 26, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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Rexie317 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 394) |
posted July 26, 2000 12:55 AM
I talked to my dad while he drove me to the gym. He told me that is wasn't the fact that she moved out that hurt him it was the way in which she did it. She broke my step-mom's heart. Today was her first day back, cause she didnt go in Monday. She had to explain the whole thing to her co-workers and bosses. Really emotional day for her. It hurts me to see my family hurt, hurts even more when another family memeber inflicted the pain. ------------------ IP: Logged |
. The leg pain is a pain I love though.
Be back later. Thanx again.All times are ET (US) | |
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