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 longterm relationships
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| Author | Topic: longterm relationships |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1126) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:11 PM
  
due to the fact we just lost thaissi because his girlfriend didnt like his posts i just felt the need to address the issue of why people feel the need to be in relationships. I have been in several and have been single since march of 98 and I couldnt be happier. I think people just stay in them because of the comfort factor or out of fear of dying alone. I mean shit I spent 18 years listening to a woman trying to run my life for me(my mom), I will be damn if i go another 60 dealing with the same shit. I dont want to figure out why you are mad Just my opinion. ------------------ [This message has been edited by moe dank (edited July 10, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 861) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:14 PM
My longets relationship has been a little over 3 months. I have had a few of those. I prefer the 3 hour ones. IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 542) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:17 PM
Moe, I could list over a million reasons why I dislike men, but right now I am in a very po-ed mood, so I will just leave it at that. Obviously thiassi, cares more for his lady than he does about the damn site. IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 820) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:20 PM
My first 4-5 long term (over 3 month) relationships (well they ran concurrently) were very good to me and fun - this is b/c if you have 3 or 4 girls you are in a relationship you knock just about all the bad stuff off that list, When they get mad or you get pist go to another or go out with your friends (they will be used to it since you spend much time with the others) of course I know better now that I have found my girl and don't ever cheat (thiassi like disclaimer) but it was fun back then when i did and you get the best of both worlds, the single new crackers ever day life and the fealing of having someone who knows you and cares about you and what you do. Slopain IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 241) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:24 PM
Moe you have summed it up, beautiful indeed, relationships are trouble for the most part, the negative outweighs the positive, I once had a relationship with a girl who enjoyed country western shit, every now and then I would have to go to some hillbilly bar, it was horrible, talk about not blending in, a big jacked up mofo with hair down to the middle of his back with a shirt that has a beautiful LEAF on it around some tight pants, cowboy hats , lassos and belt buckles that could be used as a dinner plate. That alone made me dislike her. So far the only women for me is Mary Jane, she has been with me through many trials and tribulations. IP: Logged |
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Natymike Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 253) |
posted July 10, 2000 12:27 PM
I also hate when: -I have to choose what she wears, then she gets pissed when I choose it. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 175) |
posted July 10, 2000 03:56 PM
So sorry to hear you are sour on relationships. Like Dlady said I'm not going to post all the shit that annoys the FUCK out of me about men ...I have way too much going on to wallow in negativity + I'm not going to down my man - he may not be perfect, but what the fuck - neither am I! I'm not going to go into any of the "soul-mate- if-it-was-meant-to-be sugary-sweet-chick-crap" either, because frankly, I believe that is just what it is: CRAP! It takes two grown individual to enter into and make a relationship work. Getting together is easy ...STAYING TOGETHER IS REALLY FUCKING HARD!!!! In closing all I want to say is that if anything happened between my hubby and me, whether it be death or divorce, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD EVER RE-MARRY! IP: Logged |
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cm3504jm Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 94) |
posted July 10, 2000 04:22 PM
I've said it before about relationships: I've always felt that for the most part you should never take each other seriously unless the result has to do with death, money, or other important stuff. Been married 12 years, been with my wife for 15 years. When we need each other, both of us know it and understand what it takes. Other than that, we snip, kid, rank, and basically laugh at ourselves and each other. While it's nice to have someone who worships you from afar, being realistic about such relationships with other humans will help to make them more rewarding. IP: Logged |
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Whammo Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 79) |
posted July 10, 2000 04:28 PM
I ahvebeen in 1 major relationship (10 months).. mainly because I am VERY picky... don't settle for less, and I didn't.. lucky for me she outed herself as the crazy person she was before I was dumb enough to apply the ring on her finger. I look at it this way. I will go on financially progressing, growing, and educating myself. If a woman wants some of me, she can approach me. This way I have the choice, (for now) of whether she meets my standards or not. It may be the opinion of an ass, and I may be single for a while, but at least I know if and when IT does happen, I won't be one of the divorced and I will have someone I am truly satisfied with. IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 320) |
posted July 10, 2000 04:31 PM
BikiniMom - WELL SAID! Relationships are hard work and I am sorry for all of you that don't see it that way. Its worth the work...no one is THAT perfect that are never problems. IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 542) |
posted July 10, 2000 04:40 PM
HoHmmm, I hate them right now all of them! They fuck with your mind and heart way too much for me right now!!! There how you like that Moe? IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 820) |
posted July 10, 2000 04:42 PM
divorce rate in america (we choose spouse): about 50% divorce rate in india (and most spouse appointed areas): less than 7% Are indian parents better at choosing spouse than americans? nope, they just don't see divorce as an option. I think if you have that out - you will use it period. Whether it be 10 months down the line or 10 years. Slopain IP: Logged |
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MrMuscle Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1163) |
posted July 10, 2000 05:23 PM
well i met Mrs.Right the day i was born..and we have sticked togheter thru thick and thin..why would i want anybody else?? ------------------ "...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica "After this show i'll be fat and happy again.....If i make it to the show...." - Lee Priest IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 175) |
posted July 10, 2000 05:39 PM
While I do believe that people today don't work nearly as hard at marriage as they could, I don't think that comparing the divorce rate of a society like ours to the divorce rate of a country where, depending on what family you are born to you are either entitled to great privilige or are damned to life-long destitution is fair or accurate. I've not been to India lately (or ever) but enlighten me if the caste system is a thing of the past. I do believe that arranged marriages have more merit than the silly "soul-mate" notion. I think that we have for far too long in this country especially, raised our daughters with the idea that some handsome invinceable prince on a strong stead will whisk them off their feet and carry them off into some romantic sunset to live happily ever after. Seems people are more concerned with the wedding than the ACTUAL MARRIAGE! So we have the women obsessed with their biological clocks and the need to wear a long white dress (Yea, OK) and the "what have you done for me, lately?" attitudes that so many young men are avoiding like the plague. The way I see it, in marriage men get the better end of the deal. No matter what, they get all (or at least most) of their needs met while the woman is left disillusioned and bitter for what? A roof over her head - I can pay my own rent, thank you. Seriously, if our daughters were truly educated in the difficulties of parenting and marital cohabitation - NONE OF THEM WOULD EVER BRING UP THE TOPIC OF CHILDREN OR MARRIAGE! ...until they had met the guy who would be able to support them emotionally and psychologically - as an equal and not as a possession. And the flip side of this is ...if men would think before they followed their most basic biological need, "Is this woman good enough to mother my child and take care of me in my old age?" I suspect that they would spend less time bitching about all the annoying things about chicks in general and chalk up all of the negative aspects of dating as a learning experience. After all, isn't that what dating was designed to be ...a learning experience? Moe, brotha, I'm sorry that you've been having such negative experiences lately, but cheer up - it ain't all bad. Just chalk it up to evolution; with each experience you are coming one step closer to enlightenment. And when you get there, who knows who you will meet? (Or would the journey be more interesting with a companion, I wonder?!) IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 820) |
posted July 10, 2000 06:09 PM
bikini mom, how old are you? Your post did sound a bit bitter. Although I do agree with most of what you said - (even if you didn't use a whole lot of tact lol!) that said, I do think things have changed a lot in the past 10-30 years (not that I was alive for some of that) but women are treated more of equals now than ever. I think that most men MYSELF DEFINETLY INCLUDED, if brought up in a house that was male dominated to the exculsion of the moms feelings/attitude point of view - know that this is clearly not the way to live, I personally don't want to own anyhting except my girls heart, well and a MB Sclass. Point is nowadays ladies around my age (18-24) don't really take kindly to the "me man you cook, clean and I think for us" attitude. If a women chooses to cook and clean (by the way women actually do CHOOSE to) and care for their men she should do it b/c she wants to. Who wants a slave? One more thing, the appointed marriage vs free choice marraige tidbit was only meant to prove that if people don't have an out to marriage there won't be divorce. I thought that was clear enough. Men get the better "deal"? well if you say so, but I think that is very particuliar to each relationship. One thing we agree on: just wait it out, IMHO I think both sex's have a tendancy to rush into things...I have two friends getting married that I dont think should they are both my age 23. I would much rather them wait for at least another 3 more years. Slopain IP: Logged |
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Romeo Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 286) |
posted July 10, 2000 06:16 PM
i have never been in a relationship...its not that i dislike them i just havent found what i am looking for ....and on the other hand being single is great you have nothing holding you back...when i am old and grey if i live that long i want to look back and say i lived my youth the best way i could ..with no regrets ...i dont want to look back and say shit why did i waste 3 years with a women who i nolonger see i could have been partying and enjoying myself like a loose cannon... ahhhh i dont know such a good topic peace romeo IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1126) |
posted July 10, 2000 08:13 PM
I just have found it hard to think of how it would improve my life. Everyone says you have to work to stay together. Well shit i work at staying alive each day, I work trading stocks, I work on growing dope, I work on making money..........work, work, work! Why add one more thing to the list. women are good for now why would i add more work to my life when i get everything a relationship has without the work.......different strokes I guess, maybe one day i will change my mind, but as of now there is only one chick in the world i would put up with. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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wrlord Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 55) |
posted July 10, 2000 08:40 PM
I'd like nothing more than to make a relationship work. But they never do. If I wanna just go out and fuck someone, all well and good. Been there, done that. It's fun. But call me a great big ol' pussy, I like affection. I like having someone on my mind - and knowing I'm on theirs. Must be why I keep trying. IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 175) |
posted July 10, 2000 10:20 PM
Slopain bro - I'm glad that you are not a cromagnon man  and I do agree - if a woman allows a man to treat her like crap then she has no one to blame but herself; no victims only volunteers, however, it was not always this way.As for the comment about us not having any divorce if divorce was not allowed (that's kind of silly) I don't quite buy that. Surely you were saying that arranged marriages are better than marriages where the people choose mates on their own because less of the arranged marriages end in divorce. (Perhaps I misunerstood.) All I was trying to say was that one has to examine all of the societal and cultural factors before they make a blanket statement: arranged marriages are better because they don't end as frequently by reason of divorce. No flame, just adding to the info. As for my tact or lack thereof, you gotta admit it's kind of hard for a chick to sit back and listen to you guys put us down constantly and not get a little hot under the workout brazier (so to speak). - though a lot of your complaints are legitimate, there are a lot of looserchicks out there that make us normalchicks look bad, so surely you are not begrudging a sister a little self-defense in the midst of all of this whirling test? You also have to admit that there is an equal amount of loserdudes! About men getting the bettter "deal" statistically it has been proven that the number of men who re-marry after divorce far exceeds the number of women; and as the given population ages the number of women remarrying (meaning they are less likely to have young children) DRAMATICALLY decreases. Just some numbers. And as for my age and being bitter. I'm sorry if my rant took on a harsh tone. I am a little older than you are yet this is not what causes me to sound the way I do, but it is,instead, life experience. Believe it or not, I think marriage is an absolutely WONDERFUL institution, but it is one that is entered into hastily and with blinders on. I believe that this is due to a great extent because we as a society do not educate our children about the realities of one of the most serious commitments which one can make (outweighed only by the commitment to a child). Perhaps the word work has been used incorrectly. Perhaps we should eliminate the word work and use the word commitment. On this point I am very glad to hear that we are in agreement. 23 is awfully young for a man or woman to enter into marriage. I'm not saying that there aren't people who were married at the age of 19 and 75 years later "they never had a fight." What I am saying is that there is a whole life to live and youth is ever-fleeting. Take advantage of your youth; have fun, see the world. I enjoy this debate! IP: Logged |
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Twisted_Steel Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 285) |
posted July 10, 2000 10:31 PM
Let me add to this thread by saying that I recently ended yet another relationship with a female. Long by my perspective, I have never met a woman that I could clearly and intelligibly look at and say "This is a person I want to spend the rest of my life with". I have come to the incontrovertiable conclusion that I am a true deviant. I am practically the only male in my peer group that doesnt seek indiscriminant sex with women. Thats a fairly easy proposition for me to engauge in if I chose too. I really want to love a someone, I am one big affectionate candy ass. Unfortunately, all I seem to attract are southern trash, promiscuous women, smokers, drinkers. How great would It be to meet an attractive, intellecually grounded women in her early twenties. Someone independant, comical, laid back, who doesnt engauge in social drinking or smoking. To me that would be success in life, to find such a person. Everything else will come in time for. I just hope i am fortunate enough for God to bless me with such a person. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1126) |
posted July 10, 2000 10:33 PM
OK OK, i change my mind.......... After looking at fitness chicks before pics i have to say if i ever meet a chick that looks like that you can bet your sweet ass i will take all the mental, verbal, and physical abuse she can dish out.......... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 320) |
posted July 10, 2000 10:48 PM
LOL Moe...glad to see it doesn't take much to change your mind. But truly, there are worthwhile women out there. I'm glad you are happy with your life now...thats all that counts. IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 175) |
posted July 10, 2000 10:58 PM
Twisted Steel - where were you back in the day? ...wait a minute, that would have been cradle-robbing on my part I fear! j/k There are nice girls out there. Hopefully, if me and my hubby do our jobs correctly, there will be FOUR MORE NICE GIRLS out there! ...but then - it will be you who's robbing the cradle! LOL! IP: Logged |
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scarface1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 217) |
posted July 11, 2000 04:18 AM
Maybe I am the only lucky one but, I met this girl in the 9th grade and thought she was beautiful, but I was to shy to ask her out. Well she dated one of my good friends all through high school and I became good friends with her, and always liked her a lot. Well they broke up after dating for 5 years and she left town.Then about 2 years later I bumped into her, and we got to talking and turns out the whole time she was dating my friend she had a thing for me too. Well the rest is history we have been married for almost 3 years now and I love her more today than ever. IP: Logged |
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mightydog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 360) |
posted July 11, 2000 08:30 AM
Have someone by your side but always keep an escape route. When they start to bitch, its time to ditch!! Outta here. IP: Logged |
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mac sloan Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 101) |
posted July 11, 2000 04:18 PM
BikiniMom I like what you said.The whole arranged marriage is a whole different topic. Mind you that would be interesting to see what peoples views on it are.Anyways where I live I see nothing but scandelous woman who are out for money.This is in Canada(Vancouver)It's hard nowadays to find somone who you are compatible with.Some people are fortunate like me.Other's like Moe basically say Phuck it,I ain't wasting my time or money on a trick.Pretty harsh, but I can see why Moe would say what he says. Lifes tough. Relationships are tougher???? IP: Logged |
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Checkmatebloated Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 518) |
posted July 11, 2000 04:40 PM
I've got the answer for me, I just need to find it. I need a very independent lady that wants to be left alone, really enjoys sports, but has her own set a friends she hangs around when she watch them(that makes is easy for me no the Sundays I want lay around and watch football, she will not be mad is I am watch it because she likes is and she may even leave to go watch it somewhere with her friends). I tend to like the same of cookie if it looks good and the sexual match is good for both. I guess in general my wants are base on sex and leaving me alone. (most males I think) IP: Logged |
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goleafs Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 610) |
posted July 11, 2000 04:48 PM
i love long term....im in a 5+ year relationship and were going to get married. we broke up once for about three months when we wanted to see what it was like to be single again.....it sucked and we got back together. its an old adage: married people are jealous of single people and single people are jealous of the ones in relationships. all i can offer is that its great to depend on someone and be dependant of. and if you have a relationship where you never fight and everything is just peachy then youre going to get bored. its the pitfalls and pratfalls that make them so worthwhile. IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 175) |
posted July 11, 2000 05:28 PM
Contrary to what some might believe due to the percieved "bitterness" in my previous replies to this particular thread, I am not jealous (being one the married people goleafs refers to) of single people. I have been with my best friend for 12 years (the last ten in "wedded bliss"). I have said it once and I'll say it again, I believe that marriage is a wonderful institution. As a matter of fact, no matter how difficult life has been at times over the past 12 years I have never wished to go back to being single. I feel bad for my friends who do not have a mate to share all of life's joys and difficulties with. When I said that I would never remarry if my marriage should end because of death or divorce it is not because men are dogs and my man happens to be one of them, but I'll stay married to him because of the kids. Quite the contrary!!!! I say this because I have given of myself so completely, I have loved so fully that I honestly don't believe I could share so much with another. Perhaps this is my own immaturity - I have a lifetime and a wonderful friend with which to figure it out. IP: Logged |
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goleafs Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 610) |
posted July 11, 2000 05:31 PM
well put mom IP: Logged |
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RippedNBuff Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 68) |
posted July 11, 2000 06:36 PM
Mac, ain't that the truth bruh. There are some scandelous chicks out and about lately. wtf is up with that? Why do peolpe care so much about money N'shit. I mean phuck I'm only in College so it's not like I'm a high roler... yet, but still man first thing you usually hear is, "where do you work" Ok I work at Microsoft but dude it's not that great, but the chicks are WHOA, you must be rollin in, so I'm like Later. If they don't ask for a while then that's cool but damn, like the first 10 minutes, just say later bruhs, my $.02 BUFF IP: Logged |
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SassyS Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 83) |
posted July 11, 2000 08:51 PM
arggghhhhhh.. i could go on and on about this, but then Id be the typical woman. Therefore I'll plead the 5th and just be the nasty bitch I always have been. IP: Logged |
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HomeGrown Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 9) |
posted July 11, 2000 11:49 PM
Moe I not going to sit here and tell you all of the shit that I have been through in relationships I just going to give you a few pointers. 1. Living and experiencing life alone sucks! 2. Being in a relationship in which 2 people try to imprison each other sucks! 3. Being hurt very badly sucks! 4. Being unappreciated sucks! 5. Being with someone who is totally unemotional and insensitive sucks. 6. Being betrayed by someone sucks!! 7. Being betrayed by more than one person really sucks! 8. Dude I could go on forever about all the shit that could happen to you in your life that sucks, but I'm not. Moe being in a relationship that isn't working will most definetely suck so if you get in one get out of it as quick as possible because it will affect the way you are in other relationships in a negative way and you may never be happy with anyone. If you keep trying one day you will find someone who is right for you. If you give up you will never find that person. Oh by the way Moe the thing that sucks most is finding the right person and losing them because of ignorance. If this happens you will live your life forever in longing and grief. You will never know what you have until its gone(sometimes you can get it back and sometimes you can't). IP: Logged |
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HomeGrown Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 9) |
posted July 12, 2000 12:16 AM
By the way are we just men and women. I thought we were black men, white men, black women, and white women. Wait that may sound racist. So what, since we're decriminating against sex we might as well decriminate against race. While we're at it lets decriminate against education and income or anything else we can to try and divide this institution we call a bodybuilding community. Getting huge is more than just muscles its also about knowledge and nobody is showing to much of it. Lets consider each other people for just once, lets make our own bodybulding web site in which everyone is just people instead of men and women. Now I'm not suggesting you ladies try taking 1 gram or more of test a week. I'm just saying its ok for everyone consider everyone else as an equal. Shit if this what bodybulding is coming to I'd rather take some X go to a rave and OD loving everyone. Just my thoughts! IP: Logged |
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Pokemon Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 161) |
posted July 12, 2000 01:17 AM
Being in a relationship can be lonely as fuk!!! Being single can be lonely as fuk without the headachs!!! I would NEVER depend on any1 for my happiness!!! LOVE LOVES NOONE!!!!
[This message has been edited by Pokemon (edited July 12, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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Jay Z Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 933) |
posted July 12, 2000 02:42 AM
bump this! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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