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 Am I ready for this????????????
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| Author | Topic: Am I ready for this???????????? |
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WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1205) |
posted July 04, 2000 01:53 AM
   Well..... I recently left a 2 year relationship due to complications..long distances..and what not. Some of the reason of course..was due to the fact that I met someone else whom I became interested in. In all fairness I didnt even bust a move until I broke things off with my former girl. Well..the new girl is great. She very nice, compassionate, athletic..and to boot, she dont mind my "supplement" intake a bit. Ive always loved children..and its going to be awhile before her and I go anything serious..but am I ready for something like that. My life seems to revolve around bodybuilding, would that make me too selfish for a situation like that? Regardless Im going to keep dating her...but for all you with kids out there..how do you really know when your ready..and how do you work bodybuilding around having kids?? Just looking for some input. Later, ------------------ IP: Logged |
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ryry Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 509) |
posted July 04, 2000 02:05 AM
well i don't have any kids, but i'm pretty sure that when you do have them that they will be your #1 priority. BB will have to come in 2nd, family first. i know plenty of people that were studs and are now just duds after they settled down. as for knowing when to settle down with a girl. its when you can look deep into her eyes and realize that you can't live w/o her... i wouldn't sweat it bro, sounds like your just getting the rush and enjoyment of having a baby around. you'll know when its time to settle. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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bignate73 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1107) |
posted July 04, 2000 02:40 AM
bro, i have all the respect in the world for someone who can love a woman and her child both. the man i call my father could do that, gave up many things just to have a family with my mom and i. his family and thier opinion to name a few things. its a big step, but not one you need to particularly take extremely serious at the moment. you and her are still fresh, give it time, get some experiences behind you guys and then you will ultimately know whether you her and her little boy are going to be the WCP family. i believe it would be difficult to date a girl with a child just for fear of always thinking "is she trying to settle down?" you want to make sure that either you are looking to settle down or she wants to date....DATE. its the best way for things to progress without stress for you and a sense of rushing for her. natural progression and not a means of filling in for the father that is not with her. i forgot to ask, is the baby's dad around? that can make things a bit complicated too. just keep your head on straight and get to know her and the boy and see how it goes. good luck bro, email if you want to hash it out, im impartial. hehe.  ------------------ IP: Logged |
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picasso Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 32) |
posted July 04, 2000 07:51 AM
You got the question right,you gotta work bodybuilding around kids not the other way around. I've been doing it for 14 years and wouldn't have it any other way. IP: Logged |
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The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1298) |
posted July 04, 2000 09:26 AM
Well Bro, You know I wouldn't pass this one up....I don't talk about mine often...but they're mine, and I love'm to death. I always have time to hit the gym....but my free time is with my kids....I make two of every meals...one for them, and one for me(my diet)!! When I'm with my kids, I'm just daddy, or plain ole dad...nothing special, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!! Now, when I'm in the gym...I put on Ranger's mask, and step into the zone!!! I'm a totally different person....I don't like to be fucked with, I want to lift...PERIOD!! But, I always now when to step out of that zone....that's the key Bro!!! All you have to do is re-adjust a few things in your life...most will come easy...some not quite so. Remember Bro, you may not see it, but you now have 2 realtionships to build....and you have 2 hearts you may potentally break!!! Children are our greatest natural resource...all they want out of life is to be loved....nothing more.....loving a child is the greatest gift in life you shall give...!!
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The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1298) |
posted July 04, 2000 09:29 AM
Ahhhhhhh!!! Ain't I just the shit!!! Heh heh heh!!!! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1205) |
posted July 04, 2000 11:47 AM
Great input guys...thanx. Ranger you just think your the shit cause the pgf2a has you doing it 24/7..heh..heh.. As mentioned its something I have alot to think about. She has dont nothing to push him on me...whatsoever. I dont think she is looking only for a beau to settle with..and a father for her son. His real father has seen him a total of 2x since his birth for about 2 hours. Its guys like that, that needs a good boot to the balls just to see if they really have any. Anyway all I know about him is he is a grunt stationed at Fort Bragg..or however you spell it. Believe me...I dont want to hurt his mother or him either one, and that is one reason this is going to be taken slowly.. Bodybuilding has been my life for over 4 years now..but I cant help but feel that WCP is having that urge to settle his shit down a bit...Im 26 years old..not old..but neither that young at the same time.. Like I said..alot to think about. Later, IP: Logged |
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The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1298) |
posted July 04, 2000 12:12 PM
You are definately taking the right approach Bro!!! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Moderator (Total posts: 1160) |
posted July 04, 2000 01:41 PM
WCP, I dated a single Mom with a 5 year old for a while. At first I didn't know how to handle it when she was like..."this is my son..." So I just acted like myself around him.....and we got along great. It was easy for me because I have two younger brothers..... Things didn't work out between me and his Mom, but it never had anything to do with the kid. If anything it made it harder to let her go. I don't know if I was ready to settle down or not - or if you are...but don't let the kid stop you. Just be yourself - it will either work or it won't. Matt IP: Logged |
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bikinimom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 133) |
posted July 04, 2000 02:15 PM
WCP - serious situation. I don't know if this will help at all. I've been married for ten years and my hubby and me have four daughters. Training has been a hobby for us from the getco, but it's been serious for me for the past 3 years (because I wanted to see if I had the stuff to compete). It's REALLY TOUGH - diet, training, school functions, birthdays, holidays, in-laws, credit cards, who's going to do the bathing while who's going to do the dishes, I'm too tired - FUCK YOU! Just because I didn't get a check doesn't mean that I didn't work and so on and so on..... The past ten years have been a blurr - hard as hell, but we are still together and getting better every day. But there were times when I thought I can't stay in this relationship anymore and then you think well what about the kids and what about the future and on and on and on... I don't think that I would ever date another if something happened between us. First of all I wouldn't be able to take another breath and secondly I could never give my soul to another. Perhaps if my children were grown and they did not need me the way they do now, I would get a life. But your situation is different. Look at the girl and think, "Could I go through the rest of my natural life having this individual as MY BEST FRIEND - I'm talking beauty fades and hormones wane, when all is said and done, will you still come to her with your deepest darkest fears? Will she be able to come to you with hers? I think you understand what I am trying to say here. As for the child, be careful. If you break his mother's heart - she'll get over it. If you break the child's heart I don't think the wound will heal as well. IP: Logged |
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edgecrusher Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 30) |
posted July 04, 2000 02:24 PM
WCP My sister was a single mom for 3 years. She wasn't looking for a handout from anyone. All she wanted was a father for my nephew. However, she would not settle for just anyone who was around. She married a good man one I'm proud to call my brother-in-law. Any way I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not just gonna be your decision, you have to accept her and her child, and she is gonna have to accept you as a father figure to her child. When you get to that point with someone there is no second guessing yourself, you realize that all this BB shit really doesn't mean as much as being a father, a role model, and a companion. I'm sure you are still going to find time to train and eat right like ranger said. But it won't be as big a priority, because you'll realize that there are somethings in life more worth having then a great body. IP: Logged |
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T-BONE Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 216) |
posted July 04, 2000 05:15 PM
I raised a child that wasn't mine for five years. I was always the guy that said that I'd never have children or want to get married or any of that shit. Well, I fell in love with the kid, it's easy to do. Just feel your way thru it, if it's right, you'll know it. Kids can be the BEST thing in the world. Just remember, the father can always get a sudden interest in his child and become a real pain in the ass. Always be prepared for that situation to arise. But remember that if it doesn't work out, it's twice as hard when a child is involved. I am no longer with my ex, and don't miss her one bit. But damn do I miss that little boy! Good luck man. IP: Logged |
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Cleaner Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 438) |
posted July 05, 2000 12:12 AM
I talk all nasty and shit but if you saw me around kids you wouldn't think i was the same person. I'll do anything to make a kid happy. Two things in life I take the most seriuos - the young and the old. I will do what ever it takes to ensure that those around me are care for. It take a hell of a man to raise a kid that isn't his. I think time can tell you if you are that guy. Nothing rubs off as much as a little heart. It just cracks me up to no end that my niece just thinks that I'm the shit! I wish you good luck in your possible new adventure. It will for sure change you. IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Moderator (Total posts: 1160) |
posted July 05, 2000 12:40 AM
WCP, You better read this - these are the some of the best responses I've ever seen on the chat board. Matt IP: Logged |
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WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1205) |
posted July 05, 2000 01:14 AM
Yo Matt, Believe me bro..Im reading..and I admit this is some of the best responses Ive seen to a post. With all the fussing and bullshit thats gone on around here lately, its nice to see that the topic of a child can bring people together to help another bro... You all have been a godsend.. Thank You, IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1070) |
posted July 06, 2000 12:43 PM
well bro my dad(step dad) came into the picture when i was young, about 3 or 4 I guess. He took on alot of responsibility when he and my mom hooked up and being around the same age now I am not half the man he was. If you do decide to go ahead with it just remember that you are going to be just as important to that kid as anyone in his life. Hell i like my dad better than my mom. He says it wasnt hard and always considered me his real son, if he did or not he always really gave a shit when I fucked up and long story short he has cried over me more than my mom has. It takes a real man to do it and I think he would have left my mom a few times if it hadnt been for me. He made it a family and will always be around. If you are ready for all that then go for it bro. I for one am not man enough yet, but one day i hope i will make the difference in someones life like he did mine. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Romeo Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 220) |
posted July 06, 2000 12:49 PM
i was kind of seeing a single mom for a few months ..back a little while in my life ...she was 19 i was 19 .. she had a little daughter....i fell in love with the kid but my feelings didnt progress towards her....so i stayed around even though i didnt love her....and our relationship wasnt at alll good ....the point is as long as you take care of your responsibilties you will be ok... peace romeo IP: Logged |
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riptchick Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 143) |
posted July 06, 2000 01:02 PM
I'm really impressed with these responses. Just wanted to say that. There is obviously some really great men on this board--to put the children first.... Here's my .02: I was a single mom for a while. My ex husband couldn't handle the responsibility and took flight. Haven't seen or heard from him since my son was 18 mths old (he's going to be 11 now). When he was almost three when I met my new man. At first it was really awkward, little kids are very affectionate and get attached easily....I tried to keep some major distance between the two for a while until I knew it was going to work. I was really afraid that my son would get attached and then bam! we'd break up and another guy would be out of his life. As it turned out, we're still together and going strong. I've had another child. The best thing is my hubby always says that he has two sons. And BTW, he was your average BB type...doing competitions and such. There's always room for both as long as the kids know they are loved. My youngest even tells him when his calves need to come up a bit or when he's looking a bit too smooth! Wish you the best! IP: Logged |
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