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Author Topic:   Please help!!! Another
flaco
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 29)
posted June 27, 2000 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for flaco   Click Here to Email flaco     Edit/Delete Message

Hey ladies and gents, I'm 20 years old I've been with my girlfriend off and on for four years. I've been in the Army for the last 22 months. We've been doing the long distance thing the whole 22 months. It's been hard but we just can't leave each other alone. Not that we would want to but we've tried to break up because we're so far apart. It never lasted more than a half hour. This girl is my best friend and I believe her to be my soulmate. Don't worry I'm getting to the point. Recently we decided we will see other people if we wanted because we so far apart. We still talk every day and all but recently she started seeing someone else. It killed me inside but I realize that she's only 18 and I could not even thin of asing her to put her life on hold cuz she's so young. I now she needs to live her life a little bit. I was trying to be understaniding becasue I can;t be there. We conversate every day and she tells me how she loves and misses me. I know she does. The thing is I don't think I can continue to be in this relationship any more if there's someone else. Today I talked to a mutual friend and the first thing she asked me was if I had a girlfriend over here. I said no. She kept asking my why not. I asked her why she was asking me all these questions and asked if its cuz "beth" is seeing so and so. she said yeah, then she said she had to go. That's when I said screw this, I can't be in denial and put myself through this every day. so now I'm ready to break it off. She is my best friend. I'm am gonna miss her. What would you do. I know I sound like a sap but this is my true love, I trust her at leat she's honest. but I can't do this anymore. Not while shes w/someonelse. please tell me what you think both from the ladies and the guys. Sorry about any spelling errors my keyboards all jacked up.
Thanks!!

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THE FLACS

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Austin316
Pro Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 260)
posted June 27, 2000 11:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Austin316   Click Here to Email Austin316     Edit/Delete Message
Date someone else then, but I wouldn't end it with your proclaimed "soulmate" if you really love her. If you wind up together in the end then you will be glad you kept really close even if you were seeing differant people. Just leave it up to fate, if your meant to be together eventually then you will

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DLbro
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 35)
posted June 27, 2000 11:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DLbro     Edit/Delete Message
Man, if you really feel that way about her and she really feels that way about you, won't you two get married. Hell, she's 18 and grown. There's absolutely no excuse why you two shouldn't be together. I mean, I think you're too young, but hell, true love is true love, and if it takes marrying her to keep her, then haul ass down to the commissary and get her a half carat and glue it on her finger man. Do it right now man. Time is definitely of the essence.

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DrZaius
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 32)
posted June 28, 2000 12:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DrZaius   Click Here to Email DrZaius     Edit/Delete Message
I totally agree with DLbro, don't let her get away! You will regret it forever.


Peace

DrZ

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bikinimom
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 75)
posted June 28, 2000 12:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bikinimom   Click Here to Email bikinimom     Edit/Delete Message
No offense, I don't mean to sound cynical but after 10 years of marriage I'm just starting to scratch the surface of "love". Take a deep breath and live your life. Let her live her life. And if your paths cross again down the road and you still want to share your lives then by all means, tie the knot. But trust me when I say what you are feeling is hormonal - it is NOT love.

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Austin316
Pro Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 260)
posted June 28, 2000 12:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Austin316   Click Here to Email Austin316     Edit/Delete Message
Definately do not get married, you are too young. I am 18 so don't think Im just an adult with a lecture. You have too live your life, young marriages do not last nowadays. Keep in touch so that later on when your set in life with a career and things she will be there and you will then be ready and mature enough to tie the not.

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flaco
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 29)
posted June 28, 2000 12:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for flaco   Click Here to Email flaco     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for your help. We both know we are too young to get married. But we do know that we want to marry each other when the time is right. We just got off the phone. I need to know is should I tell her that I can't be with her while she's w/someone else. Should I keep talking to her and being her "babe" while she is with whoever.
Its killing me. I believe that she loves me and I am the one. I am not trying to hold her down I know in order for her to know if I'
m the one she has to know what other people are all about. I also know that if its GODS plan for us to be together we will. should I stay w/her
even though she's seeing someone else. Thanx my Iron bro's and sister's.

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THE FLACS

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Diablo's Xstasy
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 38)
posted June 28, 2000 01:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diablo's Xstasy   Click Here to Email Diablo's Xstasy     Edit/Delete Message
This may sound odd but through my entire relationship with my boyfriend he has had the freedom to do what he wants with who he wants, and might I add he hasn't since we've gotten together two years ago.

My opinion on this you have a few choices:

You can break it off and have the chance of loosing her friendship forever even if you say you'll still be friends more then 2/3 of the time it doesn't work that way it's always too hard on one person.

You can decide to keep seeing other people, yes it's hard, but think of it as a job where you got demoted. No thats not a good thing, but think you're away right now and us women need attention. I know I do and I get damn moody if I dont get cuddle time for a few days. It's really hard on her rright now for you to be away.
She is also 18 and you have to let her go her way a little bit because she is so young. I wish I did this at 18, damn I wish I was doing this now at 21 (in two weeks)

Or you can tell her you dont want to break it off at all and you want her to be faithfull etc etc etc... But to a female this would feel controlling and like she's in trap

The best thing for you to do is talk to her. Tell her how you feel, ask her how she feels. Trust and honesty are very important and are the key to any relationship.
Ask her what she wants. Ask her what she needs. Your needs and wants are two different things. Example she wants you, but she needs attention.

I hope Ive helped and not comfused you more

Goodluck and let us know the outcome

DX

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Austin316
Pro Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 260)
posted June 28, 2000 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Austin316   Click Here to Email Austin316     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry if this is innapropriate, but is she sleeping with the other guy, or is she using him for public appearances so she doesn't look like she is alone? As long as she loves you and not him, then don't break it off cause it really sounds like you 2 are serious about each other and you don't want to destroy a sure thing even if it means waiting

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flaco
Amateur Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 29)
posted June 28, 2000 11:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for flaco   Click Here to Email flaco     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks everyone for all your input. It really helped me to put things in perspective. I really don't have a choice but to continue this relationship because I guess yu could say I'm going all out on this and it is worth the effort to see where it goes. I'm just gonna treat her the same and in the meantime start seeing other people. It's probably the only thing that will prevent me from going crazy knowing my babe is with another person and I can't be there to meet her needs. In the end whatever happens will be for the best. This situation really sucks so you know I got some strong emotions fueling my workouts (the other thing that keeps me sane). although some good kind bud would help to but Unfortunately I can't right now. Once again thanks for all your advice and listening to my rants.

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THE FLACS

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Kahn
Pro Bodybuilder
(Total posts: 516)
posted June 28, 2000 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kahn     Edit/Delete Message
I say email her this post. You should let her read how you feel. It's probably different than you would have put it to her. Let her read it

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