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 WHAT WOULD U DO?
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| Author | Topic: WHAT WOULD U DO? |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 27, 2000 03:45 PM
  
here's the situation: my 18 year old girlfriend (im 18 too) has a real shitty situation at home. she lives with her mom and stepdad, who qualifies as a major asshole. (her real dad is gone because he got another woman pregnant a few years back) he is constantly putting her down, cussing her, and talking about how she is a "lazy bitch." all the while, his ass is sitting in his damn chair drawing disability (wasting tax money...his lazy ass is capable of working) and watching direct tv. not only does he treat her like shit, he also treats her mom like shit...he sits in his damn chair and gripes about her side of the family all day long...some of the rest of the family is having problems too. the thing is that he never actually says anything he bitches about to the person he has a problem with...he just sits there and bitches. my GF calls me from time to time, crying about something hes done or said (throwing shit at her, cussing her, etc.) but my GF is a real good person and she always forgives him and continues to do the chores and shit around the house that he SHOULD be doing. but today she called me on her lunch break...he had gone off at her over lunch about a bunch of shit for no apparent reason. during his rant, he said some fucked up shit concerning ME. well, im tired of the bullshit. i told her to tell him if he has a problem, to be a man and call ME about it. im thinking about going over there TONIGHT and confronting his ass. she's already packed some of her stuff and is coming to stay with me for a while. so should i go over there? i dont really care what the fucker thinks about me...i dont care if he never lets me set foot in their house again...i just dont want to fuck up things for my GF. but we're both going off to college this fall and i dont think she'll ever live in that house again, personally, although shes never said anything about it. i really want to kick the fuckers ass...what should i do? IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 708) |
posted June 27, 2000 03:52 PM
Just have her wait it out until she goes away for college. This conferentation wouldnt help things (except maybe your feelings to kick the shit outta him) but unless she deep down could never hear from her family again and not worry about it, I would wait the couple of months to college, have her stay at your place or her girlfriends house (notice I said girlfriend) as much as possible to keep away from the situation. 18 is young and it would not be beneficial to burn this bridge at this time, maybe a couple years ago it would have been worth it, but by now you only have to wait a little more and hes out of your hair. good luck Slopain IP: Logged |
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Fish Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 472) |
posted June 27, 2000 03:58 PM
NO idea what you should do. I had the same type of thing happen, different age. I took my girlfriend and moved to an appartment with her. Three years later I am not sure I did the right thing. The problem now is she has no were to go. Fucked up things at her house so she can't go there. So we stay together out of ease. We have changed, but have little in the way of options. Anyway, I guess I am saying... Don't fuck up her home. It is hard to fix, and you will never want to strand her. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 27, 2000 04:06 PM
she could always go live with her dad...she threatened to do that last winter when her and the stepdad had another BIG falling out. but that wasnt feasible because we were going to graduate this year. she also has an uncle that is real good to her. in fact, she is going to live with him while we are at college. he supports her all she wants financially. hell, he even bought her car. so there are other options. IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 414) |
posted June 27, 2000 04:10 PM
it sounds like you are a very caring person here. but please do not try and rescue your GF unless she wants to be rescued by you. You will only put on more stress in your own life, by taking on her troubles at home. If you want to live with her until you 2 leave for school then that needs to be discussed between the 2 of you first. She may not want to leave her mother alone with this man either and that may be why she decides to stay there. But there is no reason to go over and maybe get thrown in jail because you start a fight in his house. So you be the mature one and just leave it be, most likely it will blow over in a few days. And tell the GF from now on when he starts to bitch like that to just go for a walk or something until he cools down. That way she isn't there to get the shit. IP: Logged |
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Fish Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 472) |
posted June 27, 2000 04:30 PM
As long as she has people that care! Don't stress it. She will go to college and live with her uncle, and then see what life can be. Don't worry, this will all be in the past real soon. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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I'D RATHER BE DEADLIFTING Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 63) |
posted June 27, 2000 04:36 PM
I agree a lot with what these guys are saying. I would be pissed too, but you don't want to screw up her home life anymore than it already is. However, if he ever lays a hand on her, I would break down his front door and beat the shit out of him. If that wasn't enough, I might come back and do it again later, perhaps with friends cheering me on. IP: Logged |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 27, 2000 04:55 PM
she called back and said that the stepdad is threatening to leave...but i know that is BS because HE has nowhere to go...he doesnt even have a job...his family doesnt pay much attention to him...hes just a hassle for everybody. Dlady: ive left the shit alone and kept my mouth shut for a long time...but im fed up...this has to be f'n resolved...at first i thought "hell, it ain't my business," but now that i think about it, if a guy my age called her a "bitch" (repeatedly, for no reason) i'd kick his ass. what kind of "dad" does that? he has no right...FUCK HIM!!! but im not worried about her mom being alone with him. the moms brother has moved in temporarily because he is going through a divorce. he will take care of her...hes a big muhfuh. IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1029) |
posted June 27, 2000 05:17 PM
It is like you are reading a book of my life there son. I have been there. The very same situation and you know what? People that have their ass beat with a bat(not in the head)at night by a man in a mask that says nothing just beats ass and leaves, well they have a total change in personality towards everyone they know and meet. You see everyone needs a ass beating every now and them to put them back in there place. If you dont have that then you just keep getting worse and worse until you kill someone or someone kills you. You could actually be doing this guy a favor.(that is one way to look at it) ------------------ IP: Logged |
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WannaBeBig Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 91) |
posted June 27, 2000 05:35 PM
Dude, I definately would not go over to fight this jerk. You or your girl are not in control of this situation, your girlfriends mom is. Unfortunately some people let ther dum mistakes effect the people they love. If you go over there it could escalate beyond your control and you could end up dead or in jail. See if your girlfriend can convince her mom to get rid of this jerk, if not the only thing you can do is be very emotionally supportive of your girl. Tell her not to be afraid to call the cops if he touches her, but trust me man don't get into a fight with this jerk because I'm willing to bet whatever happens you will get the short end of the stick and afterwards you probably won't have your girl anymore. IP: Logged |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 27, 2000 06:30 PM
thanks for all the input so far... moe dank: my instincts would follow your advice...but im trying to be rational and listen to what everyone has to say. the GF will be here soon...ill keep the board posted. IP: Logged |
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Kahn Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 532) |
posted June 27, 2000 06:52 PM
First off, I am calm, cool, and collected. Now having said that.....Talk to your girl and have her tell you what she wants to do. Deal with whatever she says because what you want doesn't matter in the long run. Get all the options out and have her make a decision. Don't live together, thats not an option. Talk to mom to see if she wants out if the daughter is concerned for her. Have the bigmofo toss him if they want this unhealthy situation resolved. Then proceed with Moe's advice. He's on disability, give him one. Bust his fucking knees and elbows. One shot in each. Baseball bat that motherfucker, not saying a word. IP: Logged |
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E2 Moderator (Total posts: 3550) |
posted June 27, 2000 07:08 PM
Just tell her to move in with you, problem solved. Don't go over and beat the step father down, it will only cause more problems. IP: Logged |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 28, 2000 04:22 AM
damn, guys...i got good and fucked up tonight and had some great sex...but i didnt get a whole lot resolved on the big issue at hand. we talked for a while about it...nothing got worked out though. oh well, shes just hit the sack so i got on here to see what else was going on...not much obviously. i guess ill deal with the situation some more in the morning...wait a minute...it is morning. nighty night. IP: Logged |
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MrMuscle Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1073) |
posted June 28, 2000 04:23 AM
Yea, like E2 said..put it down just like that...volence rarely solves anything. ------------------ "...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica IP: Logged |
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Cut2DaMax Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 29, 2000 11:14 PM
well heres what happened: i told him that if he had a problem with me, to come to me with it...that if i ever heard of him saying something behind my back again, there would be "consequences and repercussions" i also let him know that i didnt appreciate the way that he treated my GF and that i had a right to intervene there and do what i thought was necessary as for my GF's mom, i told him that no husband should treat his wife like that...that i didnt know why the hell she even let him stay there...but i said that their relationship had nothing to do with me so i wasnt the one responsible for taking any kind of action...i just asked that he treat her humanely when i was around i also found out that my GF's mom was present when he was doing all the initial bitching...i let her know that it was a mother's responsibility to take care of her daughter when a father was abusive (verbally or physically)...especially a "step father"...i told her that i lost a lot of respect for her because she didnt stop his verbal assault there were no beatings...although i was shaking when i was talking to the old fuck...he did apologize to me and my GF...the bastard even started crying...man, what a bitch IP: Logged |
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runner Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 99) |
posted June 30, 2000 08:58 AM
good job, cut2damax. it sounds like YOU acted more "grown up" than the so-called adults around there.... IP: Logged |
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superdave Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 325) |
posted July 01, 2000 12:20 PM
Dont try to "save" her, You kids are 18 for God's sake, you're too young to move in with any girl, much less one with those issues. But,I know you wont listen to experience... IP: Logged |
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kram696969 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 235) |
posted July 01, 2000 06:28 PM
Do what you feel is right, remember have no regrets. what you do, you do, and cannot change that passed, weather you shit kick him or not. whatever you do, make sure it makes you happy, and promise yourself to have regrets. this goes for anything else in life. just think, if you die tomorrow. would you have wanted to shit kick him or not. just do what you gatta do, and have no regrets. that is my way, and i could be wrong. kram-mark IP: Logged |
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