My bf likes 'em 'thick'

[Jen10]

sooo. ..I got back with my longtime bf over christmas. We had a long indepth talk about our relationship and our likes and dislikes. When we first met I was about 155 and in ok shape. For some reason I got in my head that he liked skinny super in shape girls seeing that hes a personal trainer and trains fitness competitors. So I started doing tons of cardio and got down to 135. We grew apart about that time for a number of reasons. Finally when talking this weekend he told me that he really liked when i was bigger. Im not naturally a small girl and its really hard for me to maintain being under 145 so that made me kinda happy knowing that i dont have to be a bikni model with him. But, I like being toned and muscular. I want him to be happy but I dont want to be as soft as I was in feb. Im thinking instead of just eating everything in sight like i did this week while i was sick (and still lost weight btw, down to 143 but soft) I'm thinking i need to concentrate on eating alot of protein and good carbs so I can gain lots of lean muscle. or I am I just crazy? lol

 

[kc17]

He has to like you for who you are not by how you looked before ...

 

[socaljack]

First off, good for you on both how you feel and look as well as how you got there! How you feel and look to YOU must trump how he thinks you look. You gotta be comfortable in your skin. You both have something in common: fitness. And you got to your current goal without him in the picture. If he doesn't accept you as you are--and want to be--then you will spend many cycles trying to please him, potentially at your own expense.

Be YOU. Let him accept you as you are. If you are meant to be, it will happen. Otherwise, there is a special someone out there. Just keep the door open.

Have a great year and congratulations on your personal achievements!

 

[Colstreamer]

First off, good for you on both how you feel and look as well as how you got there! How you feel and look to YOU must trump how he thinks you look. You gotta be comfortable in your skin. You both have something in common: fitness. And you got to your current goal without him in the picture. If he doesn't accept you as you are--and want to be--then you will spend many cycles trying to please him, potentially at your own expense.

Be YOU. Let him accept you as you are. If you are meant to be, it will happen. Otherwise, there is a special someone out there. Just keep the door open.

Have a great year and congratulations on your personal achievements!

^^^ agree with this. I've spent ages trying to please others. In the end the most important thing is that you're happy with YOU.

 

[overgreen]

He has to like you for who you are not by how you looked before ...

I second this. He should be happen that you're staying in shape and never has to worry about you blowing up. Do what makes you happy.

 

[dmk777]

Yeah I got that too you look how you feel comftable not how someone else wants you too. We know you love building and that's how your comftable .

 

[caligirl85]

I agree with everyone else about needing to be happy with yourself and that is definitely easier said than done. It sounds like you got some relief, though, knowing the pressure was off to maintain that 135 mark!! (Isn't it amazing what gets stuck in our heads about how we "should" look). I think if you keep focusing on building some lean muscle you will look differently at 145-155 then you did before and you can both be happy!!

Happy New Year!

 

[Jen10]

thanks yall! I really appreciate the feedback. i've been thinking alot this week and i've decided that i dont like being bigger and i like to be in the shape i have been even though its harder to maintain it makes me feel much better about myself. i have eaten all kinds of bad things this week bc of being really sick and the holidays but im back at it full force on monday! .....I broke up with him this morning bc he works alot and has never made me a priority even though he said he can right now, all my guy friends told me that no matter how busy a guy is if he loves you he will find time to be with you. so thats that then.....

 

[Jen10]

I agree with everyone else about needing to be happy with yourself and that is definitely easier said than done. It sounds like you got some relief, though, knowing the pressure was off to maintain that 135 mark!! (Isn't it amazing what gets stuck in our heads about how we "should" look). I think if you keep focusing on building some lean muscle you will look differently at 145-155 then you did before and you can both be happy!!

Happy New Year!

thanks cg. i cant maintain 135 for more than a week anyways lol. im 145 in my avatar but im going to keep building lean muscle like you said and do it for me now!

 

[caligirl85]

thanks cg. i cant maintain 135 for more than a week anyways lol. im 145 in my avatar but im going to keep building lean muscle like you said and do it for me now!

lol...I compete at 135ish and can maintain that for about 6 hours!! So I feel your pain! LOL I look totally different, now though, at 155-160 then I did a few years ago.

I hope you're ok?!? Break ups are tough, even if it's you doing it. For what it's worth...I think you look great and I know you'll see success with your goals!