The Completely Useless Equipment Thread

[lweaver]

So today I opted to utilize my YMCA membership instead of trecking half an hour and back to the real gym I go to. First mistake.

I wanted to get my squatting done for the week. Guy is in the only squat rack, so I warm up with some light machine hack squats and then wait some more. Not a problem, except the place closes at 8:30...

So about 8:00 I walk up to the now empty rack, which is not a true power rack but a Smith Machine. How bad could it be? Really really bad. Not only is this monstrosity a Smith Machine, but it's some waste of scrap metal that moves both horizontally and vertically, negating the safety aspect of a friggin' smith machine in the first place. On this smith machine is a diagragm of a man doing a back squat with dime plates on the bar, labeled "front squat". I'm not a personal trainer or a Kinesiology expert, but please take my word that the picture was indeed of a back squat.

Anyway, I thought since it happened to move in two planes, that it wouldn't be hopeless. Wrong. I could't set the bar low on my traps, descend, ascend or get my ass back without the contraption trying to pull me forward or backward or limiting me in one direction or another. It just was not suited for a natural movement like the squat.

Then I tried Zerchers, and this thing made them not only difficult but dangerous by working against the natural movement of my hips. It's just brain-numbing that a facility would not only purchase such a piece of crap, but actually believe that it's a safe or effective piece of equipment.

Anyway, enough rant. Who else has encountered equipment that simply should not exist?

 

[miked8c]

At that point I would have chalked it up as a lost cause and squatted tomorrow. No way in hell would I try to squat with anything that looked like a Smith Machine. There would be no point, its not like I could log it, or measure my progress. Those instruments of the devils should be completely dismantled and shot into space.

Lets see.... Useless gym equipment.

The vag clenchers, utilized mainly by pregnant women. It consists of two pads that at the starting position angle your legs as if you were laying before a gynecological showing him your snatch. You then squeeze the pads together until your knees meet, that is 1 rep.

Seriously, I only see girls on this thing and you would swear they thought the machine would remove cellulite or some sht because they just sit there and pump out reps with the lowest possible weight, not even coming remotely closing to breaking a sweat. They think that by using this machine which emphasizes them closing their legs, they could erase their years of whoredom in the past. I have issues.

 

[cuthroat]

Lets see.... Useless gym equipment.

The vag clenchers, utilized mainly by pregnant women. It consists of two pads that at the starting position angle your legs as if you were laying before a gynecological showing him your snatch. You then squeeze the pads together until your knees meet, that is 1 rep.

Seriously, I only see girls on this thing and you would swear they thought the machine would remove cellulite or some sht because they just sit there and pump out reps with the lowest possible weight, not even coming remotely closing to breaking a sweat. They think that by using this machine which emphasizes them closing their legs, they could erase their years of whoredom in the past. I have issues.

Dude I was thinking the same thing you beat me to it.

 

[stevesmi]

i would say those ab coaster machines, or those ab ones you lay down in and crunch (i might see a 16 year old using those on occasion), or the ones you sit in and grab the top and pull down. pointless. squats and pullups are all you need for abs

and then the elliptical (i know i will hurt a lot of peoples feelings here) is the most OVERRATED machine out there. I wrote a long article on why its useless on the endurance section. using momentum... i see the same fat people using those machines day in and day out and get no where. its just a lazy way to exercise. run instead people

here is the info i put together, read the whole thread http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/endurance-training/lose-eliptical-737597.html

 

[miked8c]

I agree, it is less efficient for cardio than running, and much easier. Some people, like my father, use the elliptical because they have gone under knee surgery. He used to run all of the time, he was a boxer, but now all he can use is the elliptical in our basement.

Any alternatives you would recommend to the elliptical, that is low impact?

 

[stevesmi]

^^^^ in that situation ellipticals definately have their place.. if it hurts to run or walk then that is definately better than sitting on the couch with a beer. best alternative would be walking on a flat surface that is soft IF he can do it without pain.

its sad also but you have obese people who probably cannot run or even walk cause they are so fat, for them the elliptical is a good starting point.... but they really should move up to walking as soon as they can.

however anyone who is healthy needs to step up their game and find a track or trail to run. especially now that its summer so you cannot make any excuses. even consider jogging to the gym and then working out and then jogging home. i do that all the time

 

[the_alcatraz]

decline bench press is pretty useless if you know what you're doing in the gym.

 

[coolcloo]

decline bench press is pretty useless if you know what you're doing in the gym.

Agreed, dips instead of decline. Although I do hit decline dumbbells every now and then to change things up.

 

[JDid23]

Agreed, dips instead of decline. Although I do hit decline dumbbells every now and then to change things up.

for people whose shoulders hurt during dips like myself, declines are a nice alternative.

Decline benches aren't useless at all. I kinda realize i should be quoting alcatraz lol. Having said that, i don't really do declines, but they do have their place

 

[the_alcatraz]

for people whose shoulders hurt during dips like myself, declines are a nice alternative.

Decline benches aren't useless at all. I kinda realize i should be quoting alcatraz lol. Having said that, i don't really do declines, but they do have their place

I would do cable cross-overs. Decline presses are a waste of energy.