The Shit Hits the Fan....

[Big Brother Val]

Side note: I had posted before about how she said she would do everything she can to hurt me... well... the first thing she's doing is trying to "recruit" people to her side.

She has my sister and brother in law believing that I did it. She approached my brother in law at the gym... and told him the whole story... and she couldn't stop talking about what a "disgusting asshole" I am.

So... now I have a sister who doesn't want to talk to me either.

Of course, this sister of mine and me haven't gotten along really well over the past little while.

But now, I know she'll start hanging out with them too, just to keep her face fresh, and show how little she cares about what it would be that bothers me.

It's really starting now... the biggest challenge is beginning...

 

[Night Fly]

BB Val...I am so very sorry to hear about this.

I have been reading this...and have come to a conclusion that I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. What choice do you have but just to wait it out?? There were some good suggestions in here about getting cell phone records and stuff...

That girl is just a...you know what...that is just WRONG for anyone to do...and I'm sorry that you had to suffer for it.

You seem like a great guy...and I will keep you in my prayers...because you are definitely in a tough situation. Have you made any headway yet???

 

[Frackal]

Man this thread really fucking pisses me off....I'm sorry BrotherVal....you are NOT deserving of this...perhaps it was meant to be, people are showing their true colors now...maybe it is time to refresh those close to you.

 

[huntmaster]

BBV--this is terrible.

How old is your child?

Are you married to this woman?--

I would say right now, you are doing the right thing. When she called to tear you down, you just said I love you and hung up. This shows your true character and class. This will eventually make the difference. Remember love conquers all.

Man I know this is tough right now, but if you and your lady can make it through this, it will strengthen your relationship.

I have just been through a divorce with my parents and it is tough, especially for my little bro and sis. I just try to be there for them and my dad and mom.

anyway---I feel like my folks relationship can still be saved if they would both stop listening to lies from Satan and finally see the trees in front of them as being the forest they are looking for.

Hang in there---this is only for a season. It is not permanent--you will conquer this situation with your family intact!

 

[THeMaCHinE]

You should feel good about putting on a good wrestling show over the weekend -- that's the start of getting on...

One thing that was asked of me a long while ago is: Do you love her, or do you love the image that you have of her, and what her presence symbolizes in your life?

In other words, do you really love her, the person that she is, what she does, what she says, how she takes -- or do you love the person you make her out to be in your mind? Are those two people the same? A lot of the time people in other people's life symbolize something, protection from being alone, etc., but they aren't really what their partner makes them out to be. And when they act out of accordance with what you've made them out to be, the world crumbles.

In no circumstances should the "friends" come back into your lives. They really aren't your friends, and you know this somewhere. Their presence is comforting because it gives you a simulation, but they really don't have the capacity to give you what you need out of a friendship.

I would say give up on your girl, but you have a child with her, so you owe it to the child to make every effort you can (which I think you are doing a wonderful job of), if things don't ultimately work out, you will know that you truly tried. What you have to face is a long road if you do patch it up. Counseling is mandatory, go to the marriagebuilders weekend, do the exercises. Do what is right by your gut always, even if it isn't the easy path.

Get back in touch with yourself, who are you? What are your core values? What is important to you in life? Use this as an opportunity to get back in touch with you and further develop your relationship with your children.

And remember, this isn't your fault and you can't control the situation or people, you can only control you -- and you are to be applauded for the efforts you've made to this date. Given the situation, you are doing wonderfully!

 

[Big Brother Val]

Night Fly... thank you very much. I just take it an hour at a time... that's all I can do. Every time the phone rings, I hope it's her.

Frackal... I'm absolutely done with my "chum". The only thing I want to do with him now, is beat him like a circus midget. The sonofabitch will pay...

Huntmaster... my hell I hope you are right. We are not married. We were supposed to get married next month. Now, she's going on a "trip" for 8 days... of course, I won't be there. Our son is 1 year old. I'm really hoping we can overcome this... but I am also trying to force myself to live with the idea that we won't get through it... and that I have to get on with my life.

Machine.... I'm trying to live as "normal" as I can. I have a lot more shows coming up, and will be traveling around. Which is good, I guess. As far as asking if I love her, or what she represents to me... that's a great way to look at it. I really do love the woman. When I see her, I get this happy feeling... not to get too mushy or anything... but even now, when she's yelling at me, telling me she KNOWS I did it... and I say "no... you don't".... and she yells some more... I'm just glad she's talking to me... no matter what she's saying.

Now... we did have a big moment on Sunday night... I was at her house for 2 hours, and we both cried our hearts out. She actually let me get close to her, and lay my head on her shoulder as we cried.

I thought it was a good step... but then yesterday she told me how it was a mistake, and how I'll never play on her "being weak", and I'll never step foot in her home again. She said that she knows I did it... and that I insult her by saying I didn't.

I asked her to go to counseling on Sunday... and she said she might... but yesterday she said she wouldn't. The only person she'd talk to is me, and my "friend's" wife at the same time.

I asked if she didn't want to go to counseling, because she doesn't want to admit that she just might believe me... and if she does, what that would mean to her friends and family. She's already told them what a piece of shit I am, and that she knows I did it... so if she opened up and believed me, she'd have to eat her words to all of those people.

She gets mad and says "Don't put this off on me", and I tell her that it either happened, and I'm lying, or it didn't, and my chums wife is lying... it's a 50/50 chance, and she is CHOOSING to believe someone else over me.

She called me twice last night... just to fight... but I wouldn't allow the fighting... I simply said I was sorry, and that I loved her... and tried to change the subject and talk about our boy, or what happened during my day, or whatever.

Last night she told me she was leaving the state for 8 days next month... I asked where she's going, and she says "Doesn't matter, does it?" She was mad and said that we had a perfect family, and I "fucked it up by getting my dick sucked by another woman". I told her that's what she wants to believe, so she believes it. I told her I loved her, she yelled that she hates me, and sounded like she was starting to cry, and then hung up on me.

I haven't eaten well in the past 6 days... and my training is in the shitter. I know I will overcome... I just really want to be with her. Am I supposed to chase her? Am I supposed to tell her how I feel? OR just act like I don't care, and see if she'll call me more, like she did last night?

I'm not sure how to play this game...

 

[manny78]

So sad you dont live in Montreal, I could have helped you ont this one, I know how to deal with lying bitches and assholes. BTW did you finally get the phone evidence ?

 

[Big Brother Val]

So sad you dont live in Montreal, I could have helped you ont this one, I know how to deal with lying bitches and assholes. BTW did you finally get the phone evidence ?

I can't get the phone records without a subpoena... so I can't get them at all. So that's a dead end. I think our only hope is counseling at this point... which she says she won't do.

It hasn't even been a week yet, so I think I'm hoping for way too much, way too soon. But it's hard not to. I didn't do what she thinks I did... but she refuses to believe it.

 

[NY Muscle]

I can't get the phone records without a subpoena... so I can't get them at all. So that's a dead end. I think our only hope is counseling at this point... which she says she won't do.

It hasn't even been a week yet, so I think I'm hoping for way too much, way too soon. But it's hard not to. I didn't do what she thinks I did... but she refuses to believe it.

print out this thread bro, give it to her. cant hurt.

 

[manny78]

I can't get the phone records without a subpoena... so I can't get them at all. So that's a dead end. I think our only hope is counseling at this point... which she says she won't do.

It hasn't even been a week yet, so I think I'm hoping for way too much, way too soon. But it's hard not to. I didn't do what she thinks I did... but she refuses to believe it.

private detective ? dunno how he could really help you but never know.....