something im beginning to notice about people who cheat in relationships

[Cal_21]

My best gf is Hispanic and she had a girl call her husband on their WEDDING DAY and leave a vm saying "how could you get married? How could you do this to me?"

The WEIRD thing was that she got furious WITH THE OTHER WOMAN for disrespecting their wedding day. She hardly said a word to her husband and went through with the marriage.

This, by far, was not the first time he cheated. They were together for almost ten years before getting married. She explains to me that it is just a cultural difference. Evidently, hispanic women don't think that their hubbies having sex with someone else is a divorcable offense, so long as the men keep it on the down low...lol.

She is full of shiz, no offense lol.

 

[Smurfy]

most men iv read on here and met in real life who cheat always say its because they were drunk, wanted some strange pussy, woman wouldnt give it up, etc. but they are always honest that it comes down to the sex. they want sex, either with someone who isnt their siginifcant other, or maybe as in TC2s case its because the significant other wasnt putting out.

when a woman cheats, its because she felt unloved, the man chased her away, he wasnt adhering to her needs, she needed attention the man wasnt giving her, and all sorts of barage of excuses that involve emotion and the man being manipulative and evil etc.

one seems alot more honest and to the point

this isnt a revelation subz. in general, men operate on physical gratification and women operate on emotion - of course there are exceptions to this (i'm one of them) but the key here is that men and women have different needs and wants and that is a straight fact.

a woman feeling unloved and unappreciated by her husband is the same as a man feeling like his woman wont give him the sexuals. this makes sense if you keep in mind what men and women want respectively.

 

[musclemom]

most men iv read on here and met in real life who cheat always say its because they were drunk, wanted some strange pussy, woman wouldnt give it up, etc. but they are always honest that it comes down to the sex. they want sex, either with someone who isnt their siginifcant other, or maybe as in TC2s case its because the significant other wasnt putting out.

when a woman cheats, its because she felt unloved, the man chased her away, he wasnt adhering to her needs, she needed attention the man wasnt giving her, and all sorts of barage of excuses that involve emotion and the man being manipulative and evil etc.

one seems alot more honest and to the point

So what you're saying is that because you are incapable of imagining engaging in sexual activity for any reason other than physical gratification then there are no other reasons to have sex, end of discussion. Since you would only have sex to get your rocks off, that's the only reason everyone ever has sex.

My God for such a young man you have an incredibly narrow perspective.

There aren't a lot of guys on this board who have happy, healthy long term relationships (what a surprise) but there are a few. You need to talk to them. You need to talk to your mom and dad, too. You're gonna be alone and miserable if you don't open up your mind a little.

Women are not men, and the difference goes a lot deeper than physical.

 

[Nathan]

Don't even get me started on this shit. For me, the only thing that makes me want to go off and find another girl is not getting the attention I want. I HATE feeling like a lot of the work is being left to me. I notice other girls a lot more when I feel like that and crave the attention I'm turning down. After a while, I start to feel stupid for turning it down. I'll tell the gf that and if shit doesn't change, then yeah, I'll probably blow it.

I'm a spazz though so I try to calm myself down. If it is a continual problem though, man, it's hard not to notice other options and turn them down. You have to work for what you want or you'll lose it. That's how I think - I'm at an age where I'm starting to be willing to work and if I don't feel like it's there on the other person's part, I'm out. You only live once and I won't put up with being unhappy for very long. I'm not an easy person to be with I guess.

 

[Forge]

Don't even get me started on this shit. For me, the only thing that makes me want to go off and find another girl is not getting the attention I want. I HATE feeling like a lot of the work is being left to me. I notice other girls a lot more when I feel like that and crave the attention I'm turning down. After a while, I start to feel stupid for turning it down. I'll tell the gf that and if shit doesn't change, then yeah, I'll probably blow it.

I'm a spazz though so I try to calm myself down. If it is a continual problem though, man, it's hard not to notice other options and turn them down. You have to work for what you want or you'll lose it. That's how I think - I'm at an age where I'm starting to be willing to work and if I don't feel like it's there on the other person's part, I'm out. You only live once and I won't put up with being unhappy for very long. I'm not an easy person to be with I guess.

Good post, I agree 100%. Like for example, my current gf has this bad habit of not returning my phone calls. She makes lame excuses like "I got your message but fell asleep before I called you back" and shit like that. Fucking make the effort. She has a 4 yr old daughter, so we see each other mostly on her schedule, when she can fit in time for us, but sometimes we don't see each other for days simply because I can't get ahold of her to make plans.

It just seems like the whole relationship is on her terms, and I'm always the one putting forth the effort to move it forward, and it sucks. Because I want someone to do something for me now and then too. I want her to call me just to say hello. I want her to chase me for a bit. I want her to try as hard as I do to make this work.

I've noticed this pattern with many girls over the years, it's like women today don't feel they need to even try, they just want everything done for them or brought to them. It's no wonder men cheat, or why men treat women indifferently, we just want some loving too, and I mean more than just physical. Fucking show us you love us with your actions too.

If women today tried half as hard with relationships as men did, it would be an entirely different dating scene...

 

[CrazyRussian]

Good post, I agree 100%. Like for example, my current gf has this bad habit of not returning my phone calls. She makes lame excuses like "I got your message but fell asleep before I called you back" and shit like that. Fucking make the effort. She has a 4 yr old daughter, so we see each other mostly on her schedule, when she can fit in time for us, but sometimes we don't see each other for days simply because I can't get ahold of her to make plans.

It just seems like the whole relationship is on her terms, and I'm always the one putting forth the effort to move it forward, and it sucks. Because I want someone to do something for me now and then too. I want her to call me just to say hello. I want her to chase me for a bit. I want her to try as hard as I do to make this work.

I've noticed this pattern with many girls over the years, it's like women today don't feel they need to even try, they just want everything done for them or brought to them. It's no wonder men cheat, or why men treat women indifferently, we just want some loving too, and I mean more than just physical. Fucking show us you love us with your actions too.

If women today tried half as hard with relationships as men did, it would be an entirely different dating scene...

Good post. There are lots of relationships where the guy is doing everything he can to make the girl happy (and rightfully so) and the girl just feels that her being there is enough. It aint, damnit!

 

[musclemom]

You get what you bargain for, boys.

You want pretty arm candy, that's what you get. You judge a woman to be quality because she has a hot body and a pretty face, gets her hair and nails done regularly, and dresses fashionably. What you're getting is a High Maintenance Bitch who thinks the world is owed to her because she occasionally gives a dick a 20 second lick or takes it up the ass once every four month or whatever, and looks hot when your friends are going to see her to make you look like a stud.



Then you try wonder why an older guy/bald guy/out of shape guy has a good looking woman and you automatically assume it's because he has money

If physical attractiveness is what germinated the success of relationships, don't you think Hollywood/the entertainment industry would have the LOWEST divorce rate?

 

[CrazyRussian]

You get what you bargain for, boys.

You want pretty arm candy, that's what you get. You judge a woman to be quality because she has a hot body and a pretty face, gets her hair and nails done regularly, and dresses fashionably. What you're getting is a High Maintenance Bitch who thinks the world is owed to her because she occasionally gives a dick a 20 second lick or takes it up the ass once every four month or whatever, and looks hot when your friends are going to see her to make you look like a stud.



Then you try wonder why an older guy/bald guy/out of shape guy has a good looking woman and you automatically assume it's because he has money

If physical attractiveness is what germinated the success of relationships, don't you think Hollywood/the entertainment industry would have the LOWEST divorce rate?

That is the single truest, most insightful, and frankly beautiful paragraph I have read in all of my years at EF. Every sentence is spot on.

 

[BigRupe]

I think when men get really honest with themselves, they often do it for emotional reasons, too. That is why you see men screwing women who aren't even as attractive as their wives. They want to know that they can still pull tail. It makes them feel desirable.

So, what I'm saying is that they often do it for attention, but they won't come out and say that because it doesn't feed their egos to admit that.

There is some validity to that.

My ex never appreciated me and at work when some hot young girl thought I was the bomb I ALMOST cheated and it was INCREDIBLE how it made me feel as a man.

She would constantly compliment me, tell me ALL the things a guy want s woman to say and then some and I'd contrast that with what I had waiting for me at home.

I'd go home to an ice cube and think to myself "I had the hottest girl in the office begging me to take her out and her this woman acts as if I don't exist..."

In the end I didn't cheat, BUT we did get divorced and I was on a roll for about 2 years after that.

I can't say I would have been justified to cheat no matter how wrong I was treated, BUT it did justify my saying enough is enough and end the marriage.

 

[BigRupe]

I imagine HR is doing her typical "I hate men b/c they have pwned me all my pathetic life" routine that hasn't gotten old at all?

Yeah!

How old are you again? 12 or 13????