Disturbing trend amongst alot of young guys i know that got married.....

[javaguru]

I still make fucking Dr's appts for my X..... so what does that say?

I never neglected him or his needs.. NEVER!

BUT when it all boils down to it, WE together brought these kids into this world therefore to neglect them for ANY reason is just selfish.

It probably says your ex was looking for a mother. I'm not being judgemental, we ALL make bad relationship decisions. IMO, you're trying to do everything for everyone and beating yourself up because you don't meet your own standard. Guess what, take some time for yourself and let your ex grow up and be a man. If you give your children the proper foundation and discipline they will do the right thing, you don't have to micro manage them.

 

[Frisky]

It DOESNT make you a bad person.. but it will make you alone. And until your children are grown and out of the house.. you will never have a great relationship with a man IMHO. You sound like a very bitter and very angry woman.

Of course its just message board posts.. so they are VERY easy to read incorrectly

but hey what do I know.. Ive been married 3 times and have had more long term relationships than most people on this thread combined.

I "might" just know a thing or two.. but then again maybe Im just an asshole man. right?

Oh and by the way... the VAST majority of marraige counselers and psychologists would agree with me.

Im not at all bitter, I've had very good relationships, but to say that i'd ever neglect my kids for anyone is assine.

Why in the world would any man want a woman that neglects their kids?

If being alone until they are gone is the price i have to pay for taking on the responsibility of life that so be it.

Don't take me wrong, im very attentative to my SO, i spoil him to NO end.. but in the end when it comes to the line and its him or my kids, there is no doubt in my mind where my heart is.

 

[EnderJE]

I think Erz and Java/Milo are saying basically the same thing. Don't neglect the SO.

BTW, I swear I know that Jujubes from somewhere.

 

[javaguru]

Im not at all bitter, I've had very good relationships, but to say that i'd ever neglect my kids for anyone is assine.

Why in the world would any man want a woman that neglects their kids?

If being alone until they are gone is the price i have to pay for taking on the responsibility of life that so be it.

Don't take me wrong, im very attentative to my SO, i spoil him to NO end.. but in the end when it comes to the line and its him or my kids, there is no doubt in my mind where my heart is.

You can go out and have some fun without neglecting your children. You can have a passionate sexual relationship with a man and not neglect your children. You provide for them and give them guidance but after age six their friends shape their values more than you ever will.

 

[Frisky]

It probably says your ex was looking for a mother. I'm not being judgemental, we ALL make bad relationship decisions. IMO, you're trying to do everything for everyone and beating yourself up because you don't meet your own standard. Guess what, take some time for yourself and let your ex grow up and be a man. If you give your children the proper foundation and discipline they will do the right thing, you don't have to micro manage them.

You know what it is? It was 11 years of being what i assumed was a good wife, cleaning up the mess, fixing the problems and making everything tidy.. from bills to house..

All the while assuming my responsibility to my kids.

I WOULD NEVER EVER neglect the man I love. I am a very giving person, sometimes too giving.

But because my kids which are still KIDS, are put first i get slammed? I just don't get it. i take care of myself, i take care of my career and my house, but still they are first.

Maybe my wacked way of dealing with things just blows people away. Im so not sure.

Those who have children hopefully have a different perspective on the line of what is a priority.

I by NO MEANS think you should ignore you SO! LETS get that straight.

 

[awittyusername]

I hate arguing with a woman, because they take everything you say to the extreme.

But, it is fun to watch.

 

[Frisky]

You can go out and have some fun without neglecting your children. You can have a passionate sexual relationship with a man and not neglect your children. You provide for them and give them guidance but after age six their friends shape their values more than you ever will.

OMG, i know that

I have my ME TIME. I go out with friends, have dinners and party's etc..

I don't consider that neglect at all. I have friends that get into relationships taht require them to shun their kids at the drop of a dime. THAT IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

I believe my kids need to spend time with friends, family.. different cultures etc. that is what shapes them into well rounded adults. I would NEVER deny them the opportunity to expand their experiences... i encourage it alot.

maybe, what my first message said was very misunderstood... not sure.

 

[EnderJE]

Every post...one smart lady

You mis-spelled crazy.

 

[javaguru]

OMG, i know that

I have my ME TIME. I go out with friends, have dinners and party's etc..

I don't consider that neglect at all. I have friends that get into relationships taht require them to shun their kids at the drop of a dime. THAT IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

I believe my kids need to spend time with friends, family.. different cultures etc. that is what shapes them into well rounded adults. I would NEVER deny them the opportunity to expand their experiences... i encourage it alot.

maybe, what my first message said was very misunderstood... not sure.

Maybe I just focused on the "so so" relationship comment too much. Maybe it comes down to better choices in men...men who are actual men and not looking for a mommy substitute.

 

[EnderJE]

Well, this e-fight sucked.

<throws popcorn away>