Cats Are Useless Except for Getting to Say "Pussy" Out Loud.

[supersizeme]

Supersize,

You did make some negative points about dogs that are valid. But if you keep your dog outside it negates several of them.

Now please list the "positive attributes about cats. I will go ahead and give you the mice thing but name another. (Although I would like a 30 rat to get rid of my cat)

Cats are very clean. They poop in a litter box and are pretty much bathing all the time.
Affection from a cat is more rewarding because it's not blind as what comes from a dog. Do you want a girlfriend that is constantly coming up to you and kissing and hugging all over you every time she sees you regardless if she just did it 5 minutes ago? No it gets old after a while and sometimes you're like, go away and leave me alone. Cats come up and want their lovin when they feel like it so it's more of a treat when they are down for it because it's not ALL THE TIME.
Cats are intelligent and graceful. Watching them jump from the floor to a counter that is four feet high without knocking everything over is impressive.
Chicks dig them. I bring a girl over to my place and I haven't mentioned before that I have a couple of felines, 99% of the time the girls go into fits of cuteness and I didn't even have to do anything. I let the cats do the work. I'm like, "cats, get to it." And then they proceed to warm the girl over with purring and whatnot and she's instantly comfortable with me because I have cats.
Cats don't bark when someone walks by my apartment.
They also don't chew up my furniture.
They're fun to play with just like dogs are. Their eyes go all black and start going nuts and it's funny.
Cats play fighting is just as entertaining as dog playfighting.
blah i could go on but you get the point.

 

[bigschweeler]

Chicks dig them. I bring a girl over to my place and I haven't mentioned before that I have a couple of felines, 99% of the time the girls go into fits of cuteness and I didn't even have to do anything. I let the cats do the work. I'm like, "cats, get to it." And then they proceed to warm the girl over with purring and whatnot and she's instantly comfortable with me because I have cats.

Now that is some quality training you've given those felines.

 

[starfish]

LOL, You guys are on to us.. We love kitties

 

[curling]

Supersize now I have to admit that is pretty dang cool how you got your pussies to help you get some women.

Maybe my cat is just a whiner and that is why I don't like cats. I guess I am just a cat bigot.

 

[supersizeme]

Indeed. They are like walking, self-cleaning panty-removers with fur.



<Door Opens>

<My date and I walk into my apartment>

Me: "<snap snap> Attention cats: Unconquered female has just entered the apartment. Get to work, girls."

<Cats, looking excited and tails perked up, walk up and smell said female. Commence smelling her purse and shoes.>

Her: "Oh how cute...you didn't tell me you had cats!!!"

Me: "Yes I like cats very much...these are my two girls. They seem to like you, and my cats have excellent taste in females. This one (pointing at one of them, either one, doesn't matter) I rescued from a pet shelter. She had a ruptured uterus on her vet records, so at some point a previous owner was very mean to her when she was pregnant. I had to take her home and make sure that never happened again." <My halo, previously glowing only faintly, now shines brighter than the North Star>

Her: "Oh how sweet!!!" <Her crotch begins moistening at this point>

Me: <snap snap>

<Cats begin meowing and purring, rubbing up against her leg and begging to be picked up. One of the cats is instantly picked up. Meanwhile I am opening a bottle of whine, cackling to myself that this is too easy.>

Her: "Ooooh she's so soft. What's her name?"

Me: "Zoie. I named her after this six year old girl with pigtails that I saved from a horrible grizzly bear attack about four years ago. I will never forget that day." <I gaze off into the distance>

Her: "OH supersizeme, you will do anal on me tonight, won't you??"

Me: "Okay."

 

[frorider6]

Wow, that's a damn nice fantasy land you live in. Can anyone visit? Is there an admission charge?

 

[danielson]

Her: "Ooooh she's so soft. What's her name?"

Me: "Zoie. I named her after this six year old girl with pigtails that I saved from a horrible grizzly bear attack about four years ago. I will never forget that day." <I gaze off into the distance>

Her: "OH supersizeme, you will do anal on me tonight, won't you??"

Me: "Okay."